Lily's Plan
by MelloPie
Summary: MPWW - M for later chapters - Remus has had a secret crush on Sirius for a very long time. When Lily finally catches on, she decides to do whatever she can to help Remus get what he wants. After all, she has a plan. And her plans never fail!
1. Chapter 1

**Hey! Thanks to everyone who is here after ready Slughorn's Sanitarium for Troubled Boys. I really appreciate your interest in my other stories. For those of you who have not read SSTB, welcome and thank you anyway! **

**As always, reviews are greatly appreciated and help motivate me to update regularly. This is going to be very light hearted in comparison to my last story, so I hope that you all still like it! **

**No warnings to speak of. **

**Enjoy!**

* * *

><p>He was doing it again. He may not have been aware of it, but he was definitely doing it again. Remus sat with a book open on the library table in front of him, his hands propping his head up as he stared at the pages, but he definitely was <em>not <em>reading. He was just staring. His eyes weren't following the lines and he'd not turned a page in over five minutes, which was far too long for a speed-reader like him. He was daydreaming again, and Lily could tell by the vague grin on his face that he was daydreaming about something, or, more likely, some_one _that he quite fancied.

It was their seventh year. Lily and Remus were two of only a handful of students who were eligible for the free period they were in. Most of them were expected to use this period to prepare for their NEWTS, which was why the two friends were in the library. Lily had thought that Remus would be a wonderful study partner, as he always seemed quiet and diligent, but she was finding more and more that he was causing a huge distraction for her. It wasn't the fact that he had that aloof scruffy look about him that made people think he was smart without having to try that distracted her. It wasn't even the fact that wherever he was, the Marauders were sure to pop up now and again when one or more of them had decided to shirk off their classroom responsibilities. He was distracting because of the way he drifted off, so quietly, into his daydreams, the way he smiled like his heart was fit to burst without even realizing he was doing it.

Lily was nothing if not a bit curious. Some may even say she was annoyingly nosy and determined to know everything that was going on with everyone around her. But Remus was her friend, so she had every right to be curious, right? She had spent a long time guessing what a boy like Remus might daydream about. She thought for a while that he was daydreaming about the day he would be told that he marked better on the NEWTS than anyone in Hogwarts' history. The daydream seemed to fit him. But then she'd seen it; that wide, goofy grin she saw on Potter's face whenever she actually spoke to him. Remus was thinking about a crush. And based on the amount of time he spent in his goofy-grin-while-staring-dreamily-into-space state, Lily thought that it must be a pretty serious crush.

"I can't take it anymore!" Lily suddenly bellowed, causing Remus' elbows to slide out from under his head, nearly sending his face into the open book.

"Wha-what? What happened?" Remus was so adorably oblivious as he looked apologetically at some students from an adjacent table.

"Is it Roberta from advanced charms?" She asked, knowing that Remus had tutored her on several occasions, and that she'd seen the curly blonde haired girl give Remus the fluttery eyelashes during several of those meetings.

"Roberta? What are you talking about? What's happened to Roberta?" Remus asked, looking obviously confused.

"How about Emily. She's smarter than Roberta, isn't she? More your type, right?" Lily asked again, as though she were interrogating him.

"What?" Remus was now looking at his red haired friend as though she were slowly losing her mind, though his eyes got wider when she gasped dramatically.

"Is it Pomfrey?" She said through her hands that had flown up to her mouth in shock, remembering the fact that he spends a large amount of time in the hospital wing.

"_What?_" Remus shouted in horror at the thought of having any kind of relationship with Madam Pomfrey. "Lily, what in the name of Merlin's beard are you going on about?" he asked in obvious terror.

"I can't take this anymore." Lily repeated in a defeated tone, her upper body falling onto the table dramatically. She was up again in a moment, though, leaning over the table, staring intensely at Remus as she continued in a whisper. "You need to either stop all this daydreaming nonsense or bloody tell me who it is you're fantasizing about!" She demanded in a way that made most people shake in their skivvies.

"F-fantasizing?" Remus asked, trying to feign ignorance, though his cheeks reddened slightly.

"Don't play that 'I'm adorably oblivious' act on me, Remus Lupin." Lily threatened. "It might work on Sirius when you give him those big goo goo eye- oh my god." She gasped as the truth suddenly dawned on her half way through her sentence.

Lily watched as the hint of color on her friends cheeks suddenly spread like a wildfire across his face, turning him a rather comical shade of pink. It was all the justification she needed.

"You've got a crush on Sirius, haven't you?" She whispered over the table at him.

"I don't know what you're talking about." Remus said, turning back to his book, flipping through the pages in an attempt to look bored.

Lily saw right through him, though. Just before he'd turned his attention back to his book she'd seen his eyes widen slightly and his lips twitch as though they wanted to fall open in shock. She could even see his fingers shaking where they held onto the corners of the pages. She chastised herself, wondering how she had not seen it before.

It was not unusual for members of their tight group of friends to sneak into the library to see them on occasion, though it was only Sirius for whom Remus would readily put his book aside. He could never say no to Sirius, either. Lily had seen it many times. If it were James or Peter who came to see them, asking for some ridiculous favor, Remus would readily tell them to sod off, but no matter what Sirius asked, Remus always said yes, even if he complained about it later. Lily could also gauge the emotional state of one boy based on the state of the other. When Sirius was unhappy, Remus was unhappy.

Remus felt like his heart was about to stop beating all together. He both loved and hated Lily's sharp mind. He loved her quick wit and her educated sense of humor, but he also found it hard to hide things from her. He should have been far more cautious around her. He sighed as Lily's hands pulled the book he was distracting himself with out of his line of sight.

"Don't play stupid with me, Remus." She said, now giving him a wide, knowing smile.

"What do you want me to say?" Remus asked defeatedly, too embarrassed to look her in the face.

"I didn't know you liked boys." She said quietly, not wanting other tables to hear their conversation.

"I don't." Remus said, propping his elbows on the table again, but this time covering his face with his hands. "He's the only one."

"Merlin, Remus, this is just too cute." Lily said, her tone making it obvious that not only was she alright with finding out that her friend may have gay tendencies, but that she firmly supported it.

"No it's not, Lily. It's miserable." Remus said, his voice muffled into his hands still.

Remus could feel the heat coming off his own face, which made him all the more embarrassed. He hadn't wanted anyone else to find out about the crush that had been slowly, quietly, building in strength while he wasn't paying attention. He couldn't even remember when it started any more. He'd always been close with Sirius, but he was close with James and Peter as well and never felt anything but friendship toward them. He'd thought that the unusual feelings he was having for Sirius were just those of gratitude. James had confided in him that it had been Sirius' idea for them to become animagi. Gratitude could easily be confused for romantic affection, he'd thought. He also wondered if their shared canine forms had done something to him. Perhaps his inner wolf was drawn to him because he was closest in species.

Whatever it was, Remus felt like his feelings had quickly tumbled past a mere crush, plummeting into pure, unabashed love for the other boy. No matter how hard he tried to talk himself out of it, he couldn't come up with a good enough reason to _not _love Sirius.

"Please don't be upset." Lily said quietly, her voice apologetic now. "I didn't mean to out you like that."

"It's fine." Remus mumbled miserably, moving his hands away from his face to prop his chin up again. "I suppose it was going to come out eventually."

"Have you told him?" She asked carefully, not finding the hollow laugh he let out very amusing.

"Are you daft?" Remus asked incredulously when he stopped chuckling. "I'd sooner hex myself than tell him."

"You two are so close though. I'm sure there's a better chance of him reciprocating than you think."

"No, Lily." He said passively, knowing that Lily has, on more than one occasion, tried to play match-maker for her friends. "Things are fine as they are. I don't want to make anything awkward between us."

"But you don't even know how he feels yet! I could talk to him. Hint around and try to get his reac-"

"_No, _Lily." Remus said, raising his voice enough that a few of the other students turned to look at them again. "He's straight, as made very clear by the many, _many _girls that he fools around with. What more evidence do you need?"

Lily could hear the personal hurt in his voice as he referenced Sirius' less than innocent rendezvous that he made with many of the girls in their year. The expression that Remus hid almost perfectly made Lily's heart ache a little for her friend.

"You thought _you_ were straight." Lily said in her own defense.

"Yes, but I've also not dated half the girls in school." Remus said as he began packing his things away, intent on escaping the conversation, though Lily just began stowing her own things away.

"What if there was a way to test the waters without him having to find out about your crush on him?" She asked, following him out of the library. "We could plan something to try and gauge his response."

"Lily! Please, just stop it! This is exactly why I didn't want you to find out!" He said, raising his voice now that they were out of the library.

"Find out what?" A third voice suddenly joined them.

Remus felt his heart fly up into his throat as he heard the voice belonging to the object of his affection. Turning he saw his friend striding toward them, his robes billowing gracefully behind him, his tie loosened and his shirt messy in a way that made it look perfectly intentional.

"Are you harassing my Moony, Evans?" Sirius asked teasingly as he dropped an arm over Remus' shoulders.

Lily saw the way that Remus' face heated up as the other boy put an arm around his shoulders so casually, and suddenly felt a great deal of sympathy for him, along with a generous helping of annoyance for the other boy's inability to notice. She rolled her eyes for effect.

"Hardly." She said in an aloof tone that she often put on for James as well. "Shouldn't you be in class, Black?"

"Oh don't put your prefect panties in a knot, luv. I'm just here to ask a favor." He said, turning his attention to Remus, his face close enough to Remus' now that they could breathe the air out of each other's lungs if Remus turned far enough toward him.

"I'm not letting you into the prefect's bathroom again, Padfoot. They're still investigating who cast the cat-call jinxes, which are still quite loud, by the way." He said, trying to seem casual as he looked over at his best friend, hoping that his glance at the other boy's full lips, which were so near to his own, had gone unnoticed.

Sirius barked with laughter, his head rolling back a little. He had particularly liked that prank. He had figured that most prefects needed a little boost in confidence, so he jinxed anything he could to give an appreciative whistle whenever someone disrobed.

"That's not what I need at all." Sirius said when he stopped laughing. "Wormtail finally found a girl who agreed to go on a date with him, but insists that she bring a friend with her. Then she started complaining that her friend wouldn't have a date, so she talked Wormy into bringing a friend as well. Will you go?"

"What?" Remus asked, looking a bit panicked. "Why me?"

"Well because Prongs refused flat out because of a certain redhead who will remain unnamed," He said, grinning when he saw Lily blush just slightly, "and because I know the girl she's bringing and she's a complete nightmare."

"So you thought I'd be perfect for her?" Remus asked in mock anger.

"Well I figured I'd give us both a chance to get out of it." He said, holding his fist out toward Remus.

Remus knew what he was wanting. It was something they did often. When they couldn't decide who should take the short end of the stick they played a single round of Rock-Paper-Scissors. Prongs thought it was childish, but it worked well for the two of them, and so Remus raised his hand to meet the challenge. Three shakes of their fists later, Remus had lost. He always regretted using Rock. Sirius' long fingers covered his balled fist and gave it a squeeze as his grin widened.

"Thanks, mate." He chirped, ruffling his hair a bit before nodding in Lily's direction and turning to exit the way he'd come.

Remus could still feel the heat from Sirius' fingers on his hand, and didn't care that his hair was sticking up in all the wrong directions. He was too transfixed on the retreating figure, even, to hear Lily's huff of exasperation.

"Remind me again, _why _exactly do you like him? He's so… arrogant." Lily said, her hands on her hips in annoyance.

"I know it sounds weird," Remus began, "but I actually like that about him.

"Merlin, you're in deeper than I thought." Lily said, an eyebrow raised as she watched Sirius turn the corner at the end of the corridor, certain that his robes hadn't ruffled like that on their own.

"You have no idea." Remus said, almost to himself.

* * *

><p><strong>TBC<strong>


	2. Chapter 2

**Hey everyone! Welcome to chapter two! Thanks for the wonderful compliments on the first chapter. I'm so excited that everyone seems to be enjoying it. **

**This chapter may seem to not move the story along much, but I thought the scenario was just too amusing. I also felt that it gave a good insight into the kind of person that Remus is. I hope you all enjoy it!**

*****WARNINGS*****

**Some foul language**

**Enjoy!**

* * *

><p>Remus had been grateful that he'd been able to lose Lily after she started in on him again, but now he was suddenly missing her company. It was already Hogsmeade Saturday and he was doomed to spend the visit with Wormtail, his would-be girlfriend Helena, and Helena's friend Debbie. Suicide had cross Remus' mind when he realized that his friend was leading them down the alley that would take them, inevitably, to Madame Puddifoot's Teashop. Remus had been inside the shop once before, but not to sit snuggling up with a girlfriend. He'd been sent in to rescue Sirius who had been drug in by his, then current, girlfriend. He had broken up with her very soon after that particular incident.<p>

He'd never wanted to be a customer, but there he was, sitting at a cramped, heart shaped table listening to Helena and Debbie chattering excitedly with each other about how adorable the décor was. Remus considered punching himself in the face to dull the pain that their shrill giggling was causing him, but decided instead to focus on the menu.

"Oh! Even their tea flavors are cute!" Trilled Helena as she followed suit.

"Look, Helly, rose tea. It's your favorite, isn't it?" Peter asked, trying to sound suave.

"You are so cute for remembering, Peter." She said, batting her eyelashes at him over her pink menu.

"They have lilac tea also. I love how delicate all these flavors are." Debbie said happily before sidling up closer to Remus, brushing her shoulder against his arm. "Don't you think floral teas are _so_ romantic?" She asked, her lashes mimicking Helena's.

"I hate floral teas." Remus said gloomily, trying desperately to find something that could be considered _real _tea on the menu, loathing every heart that dotted every 'I' on the page.

"Oh." Said Debbie disappointedly.

"No need to be such a sour puss." Helena sneered, annoyed that Remus had not seemed very interested in her friend.

Remus chose to ignore her comment, trying desperately to find something he would actually drink. He remembered Helena and Debbie now that he'd seen them. He had shared a few classes with them several years ago, but once he moved to advanced classes their paths rarely crossed, save for a few encounters in the Gryffindor common room. He also remembered why Sirius had said that Debbie was a nightmare. Early in their sixth year the two had dated for a very brief period, though, as Sirius usually did, he broke it off with her after a few weeks. Debbie had not taken it well. They often found notes and letters folded into intricate hearts and flowers scattered about their dorm, and Sirius received one at nearly every meal, accompanied with intense staring from down their table. According to Sirius, she had stalked him rather thoroughly for several weeks after the breakup. If Remus had been paying closer attention he would have been terrified by the looks of adoration that she was sending his way. They were the same looks that she had always given Sirius.

"Hello cuties." said the waitress who finally meandered toward them.

She was an older woman who looked as though her head lived permanently in the clouds. She took out a small notepad in the shape of kissy lips.

"What can I get you?" She asked, poised with her pink, fluffy quill.

"Rose tea, please." Helena said, obviously trying to sound dainty.

"I'll have the same." Peter said, smiling at Helena as he absently handed the menu to the waitress.

"Lemon drop tea, please." Debbie said airily, turning her eyes on Remus again, looking almost expectant.

"Can I get just a plain Irish breakfast tea or something? Earl grey, plain black tea? Please, just anything _plain_." He was practically begging, though the waitress just nodded distractedly as she scribbled on the notepad. "And a slice of the chocolate cake, please." Remus finished as he handed the menu back.

When the waitress had wandered away Remus looked back at the table, and was shocked to find everyone staring at him. Debbie looked particularly offended, possibly because he had not ordered the same tea she had. Remus didn't really understand, and didn't really care.

"What?" He asked after a moment of silence.

"Oh, nothing. Just admiring your _manners _is all." Helena said sarcastically, turning her eyes to the décor again.

Things were awkwardly quiet for a few moments, even Peter giving Remus a dirty look, annoyed that he was ruining the mood of the date. Remus couldn't stop thinking about what he was missing out on, though. Sirius and James were probably through at Honeydukes already and on their way to Zonko's. Maybe they'd even stopped for a snow ball fight. He hated that he was stuck in the stuffy tea house on a snow day in Hogsmeade. On days like this, when they were finished with their shopping they would sometimes go to the outskirts of town and build snow forts. He always liked when they split into teams of two and he and Sirius were on a team together. Even surrounded by snow, Remus always felt hot when they were hunkered down in their hand dug foxhole together. He loved the proximity they had on days like this. But instead of rubbing shoulders and legs with Sirius, he was being rubbed by Debbie, who smelled too strongly of perfume.

"Are you fond of chocolate, Remus?" Debbie's voice suddenly broke through his daydreaming.

"Huh? Oh, um, yes, I suppose." Remus said uninterestedly.

"You suppose?" Peter laughed, trying to get the atmosphere a bit more lively. "I've seen this boy eat one of those foot long Honeydukes bars in one sitting."

"Oh my goodness." Debbie said in a voice that was far too intentionally delicate. "And you're in such good shape, too. I'm so envious. Chocolate makes me gain _so_ much weight." She said, obviously fishing for a compliment.

"Is that so?" Remus said as he saw the waitress making her way toward them with a tray, causing him to miss the look of disgust that Helena shot him.

Remus finally felt a swell of excitement as the waitress placed a small plate in front of him, the slice of cake looking huge in comparison. It looked perfect and moist and rich. Remus could feel his mouth watering, that is until she sat his heart shaped tea cup down next to it. Before he could speak she was gone, and he was left staring at the rose petals that had been cut into tiny hearts floating around in his tea. A quick glance told him that it had not just been a mix up of cups. Remus hated floral tea.

"Oh, how cute." Debbie said, looking into Remus' cup. "They're cut into hearts."

Remus couldn't stop his groan of disapproval, but drown his sorrows in his cake, that proved to be as delicious as it looked. For a moment he forgot everything, as often happened when he was indulging in chocolate. Somehow, the sensory combination always left his mind wonderfully blank. Just as he was getting to the place he loved to be when he ate chocolate, Debbie's high, overly airy voice interrupted him.

"It smells wonderful, Remus. Is it good?" She asked expectantly.

"It's delicious." Remus said with a slightly full mouth.

There was a pause as Debbie waited for him to offer her a taste, but figured she may need to be a bit more straightforward.

"May I have a bite?" She asked, hoping that he would feed it to her.

"I thought you said that chocolate made you gain weight." He said, sticking another forkful into his thankful mouth.

He'd not meant it to be as rude as it sounded, and Peter knew that, though by the expressions the girls shared, he didn't think they knew it. Remus, for all his brilliance, was surprisingly bad at subtleties, and often took the words that people said to him at face value. Of course that was the absolute opposite of what one should do when dealing with girls. Peter figured that was why Remus never had a girlfriend.

Just as the girls at the table were giving Remus looks of disgust, Remus caught sight of two familiar faces looking in the window behind Peter and Helena. Sirius and James both peered through the small circles they'd cleared with their gloved hands, both grinning like fools, obviously laughing at his predicament. Remus rather suddenly stuffed the last few bites into his mouth, speaking through the spongy cake.

"Be right back. Loo." He said, knocking the table slightly as he got up too fast. He ran for the small back door that he'd seen when they'd come in that was hidden from the table the others were at.

Luckily, James and Sirius had caught on to his plan and quickly skirted the building to meet him. They were both wrapped up in their winter coats, their hats hiding their usually untamed hair. Remus was only in a light sweater though, and was lacking gloves, hat, or scarf, and was thus jumping from one foot to the other to keep his body warm.

"You two pricks have to get me out of here!" Remus practically roared as they neared him.

"Now now, Moony, is that the kind of language to use at a swanky place like this?" James teased.

"Shut your mouth, Prongs!" He said as he stuffed his cold fingers into his own armpits for warmth. "I'm serious. I can't handle another minute with them. And the fucking waitress put fucking rose petals in my fucking tea!" He raged.

"Wow, Moony. I kind of like it when you swear like that." Sirius teased.

"I'll do more than swear at you, you horse's ass!" Remus said, jabbing Sirius in the chest with his frozen finger. "I'm never doing you a favor again!"

"Aw, don't be like that, Moony. You're just grouchy 'cause you're cold." He said patronizingly as he unzipped his coat.

"No! Don't touch me!" Remus grumbled as Sirius tried to hug him with his open coat.

The cold really did put him in a bad mood. They all knew it, and made sure to keep a fire going in the dorm room on cold nights, so as not to suffer his wrath. After a half hearted fight, Remus felt much better with Sirius' warm coat wrapped around the both of them, the heat radiating off his hard chest. Remus hoped his face had been red from the cold already, as it was red for a very different reason now. He suddenly didn't care about the teahouse or about his floral tea.

"Feel better?" Sirius asked, his signature lopsided smile on his face.

Remus wished they weren't face to face. Their heights were so similar that it put their kissing apparatus far too close to each other for comfort. Remus huffed to hide his embarrassment, looking over at James for a distraction.

"I suppose. But I'm serious. You two _have _to find a way to rescue me. I'm dying in there! And I think I'm ruining Wormy's date."

"And jumping ship _won't _ruin it?" James asked, not seeming surprised by his friends who were huddled up in a single coat.

"Well it might not seem so bad if you make it sound like it's really important." He begged his friends.

"I think this is pretty serious, Prongsy." Said Sirius, bringing a gloved hand up to wipe a bit of chocolate icing from Remus' lip, making him jump unintentionally. "Looks like even chocolate can't make this right."

"Yes! Exactly! You have to do something." Remus said, focusing on James again to keep his heart from leaping clean out of his body, something that he was sure he would not be able to survive.

"Alright, alright." James sighed. "You go back in there for now. Padfoot and I will think of something."

"You'd better." Remus said, all too seriously, before he felt Sirius' arms loosen around him finally releasing him back into the cold.

Remus didn't say anything else to them as he hurried back into the teashop. His heart was racing, and even the muggy little shop felt cold in comparison to the inside of Sirius' coat. He both loved and hated how physically affectionate his friend was. He loved it because it allowed him to indulge in the proximity without coming across as odd or creepy. But he hated it because it gave him so much hope sometimes. He hated how it made his heart rate speed up and his face go hot. He was sure that one of these days it was going to be that proximity that tricked him into letting the kneazle out of the bag. He always fought the urge to grab hold of the other boy's annoyingly soft hair and yank him into a kiss. In his fantasies he would kiss Sirius until the other boy was unable to resist him, but he knew in reality that it would never go that smoothly. Remus' kissing experience was painfully limited. To compensate for the unlikelihood of that particular scenario, he had fantasies where Sirius offered to "teach" him how to kiss properly. Either way, the fantasy was perfect as long as it involved kissing and their hands on each other.

"Kind of a long trip for the bathroom, don't you think?" Helena asked no one in particular as Remus sat back down.

"Oh, right. Sorry about that." Remus said, trying to seem innocent.

"Are you feeling alright, Remus?" Debbie asked in a coddling voice, her hands moving to his arm, "That cake didn't upset your stomach, did it?"

"I'm fine, really." Remus insisted, trying to casually shift to get her hands off of him.

After insisting he was fine a few more times, the others finally fell back into conversation, and even though they were talking about classes, something that Remus usually enjoyed discussing, they were talking about classes he was not in, leaving him unsure of how to participate. Instead, he busied himself by using the tip of his finger to collect the remaining crumbs of his cake, depositing each morsel onto his tongue.

"Oh, look, Helly. They have a place over there where you can have your photo taken under that cute little arbor." Peter suddenly said, drawing Remus' attention again.

Sure enough, in the far corner of teashop was a small arbor wrapped in rose vines whose flowers were charmed to spell out the couple's initials. Remus felt ill at the thought of something so cutesy. Curious as to whether interest in it had to do with couples being in love, he tried to imagine himself and Sirius posing under such an arbor. All he could envision, however, was Sirius jinxing the arbor to make the roses spell out something crude. The photo would show him casting the jinx, and then the two of them falling into each other's arms in laughter. He was sure that he would treasure a photo like that, and without realizing it, he'd let that goofy grin creep back onto his face.

"It's awfully romantic, don't you think?" Debbie asked airily as she noticed his grin.

"Huh?" Remus was pulled out of his daydream far too soon.

"I'd love to have a photo like that taken with someone I love." She said, staring dreamily at Remus instead of the arbor.

"Oh. Well, yes. I suppose that would be a nice souvenir to have." He said carefully, not liking the way that Debbie was staring at him.

"You know, that's what I like so much about you, Remus." She said, propping her cheek up with her hand. "You're so down to earth. You don't get all caught up in the romance." Her eyes suddenly darkened, "Or use it to take advantage of people like that man-whore friend of yours, Sirius."

Remus felt a lump form in his throat. He was suddenly feeling very uncomfortable in this conversation. He had figured that Debbie might still feel a bit wounded from her short lived series of trysts with Sirius, but the look in her eyes made Remus worry that she may be out for revenge.

"You're a much better person than he is, Remus. And you know, even when he and I were dating, I always did fancy you." Her eyelashes fluttered dangerously.

Debbie chuckled when she felt Remus jump in his chair as her hand slide up from his knee. She thought it was adorable how he seemed so innocent and nervous. She'd never seen him with a girlfriend, and after her dealings with Sirius, found that to be quite a plus.

Remus, contrary to what Debbie might have though, felt like screaming in disgust when he felt her fingers on his thigh, but just as she leaned toward him expectantly, an owl crashed in through a set of window, throwing them open and letting in gusts of icy air that left several young women squealing in annoyance. The large barn owl flew immediately to Remus' table and dropped a letter in his lap, successfully rescuing him from the attempted kiss. He had not recognized the owl, but as soon as he opened the letter he recognized the nearly perfect imitation of Dumbledore's handwriting. Sirius never could quite get the hang of the loops in the y's and his signature was always a tiny bit messier than the real thing. But it was good enough to fool most readers.

"Is that from the headmaster?" Debbie asked, surprise obvious in her voice.

Remus glanced through the letter as someone finally got the window shut, though there was still a great deal of noise coming from the tinkling of china as everyone worked to get their tables back in order. The letter said, rather convincingly, that Dumbledore needed to speak with him about his NEWTS, and that it was very urgent. Excitedly handing Debbie the letter, he stood and began pulling his coat on.

"Really sorry to have to leave suddenly like this." He said, trying desperately to keep the grin off his face. "But you know how this sort of thing is."

"Oh, no problem at all. I hope its good news." She said, not trying nearly hard enough to hide her disappointment.

"It's been great." He lied. "We'll have to do it again sometime. Tell the others what happened? Cheers."

And before Debbie could make any real response, Remus fled the shop, missing the look of excitement in her eyes when he suggested they should 'do it again.' He didn't realize it yet, but he was going to regret using such niceties with a girl like Debbie, but for now he was exuberantly thrilled to be free, and when he turned the corner onto High Street, catching sight of his two friends, he threw himself at them, one arm landing over each of their shoulders. Not thinking things could get any better, Sirius produced a bar of his favorite chocolate from Honeydukes, depositing it in his gloved hands.

"A reward for enduring the torture." Sirius said with a grin.

"Oh, Sirius, I love you!" He exclaimed as he tore into the candy, not realizing the biting cold that stung their cheeks was hiding more than his own blush.

* * *

><p><strong>TBC<strong>


	3. Chapter 3

**Hey everyone!**  
><strong>Thanks for all of the great reviews! I'm glad that people seem to be enjoying this, and I hope that it will only get better. Please let me know what you think!<strong>

**No warnings to speak of**

* * *

><p>Remus, now recovered from his traumatic experience at the tea house, had managed to avoid being alone with Lily for the remainder of the weekend, knowing exactly what she would want to talk about given the opportunity. As Monday rolled around, however, he was no longer able to evade the subject, especially as they set their books down at their library table, which, Remus had noticed, seemed to be further off in the corner than it normally was. He waited in tense anticipation for the onslaught, but instead, Lily had asked him how the double date had gone.<p>

Remus was obviously relieved as he relayed every miserable detail of the visit, though he skipped the part where he had shared a coat with Sirius for those few, searing minutes. He figured she would be far too excited about it, and that it would steer the conversation in a direction he'd hoped to avoid.

Instead of forcing the topic on him, Lily just grinned knowingly when he explained how Sirius had fooled the others into releasing him. She could see the obvious adoration in the way he talked about Sirius, and thought that it was cute enough that she didn't even scold him about the impropriety of forgery. She knew, however, that she had to do something for her friend. The more she watched him, the more she realized just how deeply his emotions for the other boy ran. She had always gotten the sense that Remus tended to internalize many of his negative emotions. He was so kind hearted that he avoided drawing attention to himself, even when he desperately needed it. She knew that he would internalize all the heart ache that came from unrequited love as well. She was afraid that it would be too much for him to bear.

"So your date used to go out with Sirius?" Lily asked after his rant. "What's she like?"

"She's like…" Remus paused to think. "A little yappy poodle, wrapped in the irritation of sprites, stuffed into the vocal harmonies of a banshee.'

Lily had to take a moment to laugh, as Remus had delivered his biting analysis with a perfectly serious expression.

"That good, ey?" She asked, jokingly. "There must have been something that Sirius saw in her, though."

"'In her' had something to do with it, I'm sure." Remus said, his mood seeming foul all of a sudden. "And I'm sure that what was on the outside didn't hurt, either." He held his hands up as though cupping a pair of breasts on his own chest to make his point.

"You don't think any of it had to do with her personality?" Lily asked, trying to formulate a plan of action in her head.

"I don't know." Remus said wearily, "I never get to know any of his flings well enough to guess. And the only thing he ever talks about is how the sex is."

"Well, I was just thinking," Lily began carefully. "If we could figure out what it was that he liked about them, then maybe you could-"

"No, Lily." Remus interrupted her. "I already told you that things are fine as they are. I don't want to make things any weirder than I already have."

"But, Remus—"

"No!"

The look in Remus' eyes when he raised his voice at her was not only one of exasperation. It was clear that he was irritated by Lily's persistence, but she could also see a fear behind the façade of annoyance. She was sure he was terrified of being turned down for real. If his feelings remained secret, he would always have a small hope that maybe they could be returned. The possibility of blatant rejection was too painful for him.

Remus busied himself with his work for a while, and Lily gave him at least that much peace. Even though she remained silent, however, her mind was not on her studies. In her head she was formulating plan after plan in an attempt to make her friend happy. Given her quick mind, when the time came for them to move on to their next class she was sure she had found it: The perfect plan.

"So, I was thinking." She began as they packed away their books and quills.

"If it has to do with Sirius, I don't want to hear it." Remus said flatly.

"No, no. Just hear me out!" She said, then had to hurry to keep up with Remus, who was using his long legs to his advantage to try and get away from her before she could continue.

"Look! All we have to do is figure out what it is that Sirius likes in the girls he dates and then figure out what you can do to attract him. You don't even have to tell him that you like him!"

"That's the dumbest thing I've ever heard, Lily." He said as he exited the library into the crowded corridor.

"No, it makes perfect sense! Take a look at the kinds of girls he likes." Lily said with a wave of her hand, as though motioning to every single student in the hallway with them. "They're little, dainty, helpless... He's the knight in shining armor type. He needs a damsel in distress!"

"Exactly the problem. I'm not dainty, I'm definitely not a damsel, and I'm not little. Hell, I'm an inch taller than he is!" Remus argued, running his fingers through his waves of thick hair, trying desperately to get his bangs out of his eyes.

He hiked his bag up higher on his shoulder as he pushed his way through the crowds, trying to get to his Transfiguration class as soon as possible, knowing that Lily had to go to her Potions class, leaving him free of her plotting.

"Well just because you're not a damsel doesn't mean you can't be in distress." She said, her green eyes glinting with a kind of mischievousness that Remus thought was confined to the marauders. "He needs helplessness."

"But I'm _not _helpless." Remus pointed out.

"Maybe not. But we can _make _you helpless." Lily suggested.

She stopped talking when she saw that Remus' attention was suddenly lost. Following his intense gaze she saw Sirius heading their direction from the opposite end of the corridor. It amazed her that he could hone in on the other boy so quickly, as though he had and internal radar that lead his gaze to him, and with the way he was staring, she was amazed no one else had noticed the feelings he'd been 'hiding'. As Sirius caught sight of them he smiled and she saw Remus' face light up without shame and she knew that she had to make this right, whether Remus wanted her to help him or not. She refused to sit back and watch Remus torture himself.

"Don't worry, Remus. I have a plan." She said and quite suddenly jammed her foot in front of his, causing the love struck boy to go tumbling forward.

With a rather embarrassing shriek, Remus flew forward, certain he was going to land face first against the stone floor, but instead he found his cheek resting on the hard surface of Sirius' chest, strong arms wrapped tightly around him, and the smell of his best friend filling his nose. It was like he was wrapped up in Sirius' jacket with him again, and he felt his heart leap up into this throat, his head going dangerously and wonderfully blank.

He found that in that moment of sensory nirvana, he thought that maybe Lily _did _have a plan. At any rate, if it meant more time spent this close to Sirius, how bad could it be?

"You alright, mate?" Sirius asked as he got Remus back on his feet. "s'not like you to be so clumsy." He said with a smile as he leaned down to pick up one of his books.

"Oh, yeah, I'm fine." Remus said, trying not to stutter and wondering if his voice sounded a little higher than normal. Clearing his throat, he continued, "Sorry about that." He said as he took the book from Sirius' hand, being very aware of how their fingers brushed together as he did so, praying that the heat in his face wasn't showing through.

"No worries." Sirius said with a grin, seeming oblivious to the emotional battle that was waging inside of his friend. "I was actually on my way to fetch you from the library. You're usually still trying to clean up by now. Finished early?"

"Oh, yeah. Just couldn't concentrate today." Remus said, feeling like he wasn't really telling a lie.

"Good!" Sirius chirped happily, dropping his arm over his shoulders again as the three of them started back down the hall. "If you can't concentrate, then there's really no reason to go to Trasfiguration, yeah? No sense in wasting the professor's time if you're not going to pay attention, right?" He said, the lilt to his voice telling Remus that he had something less than lawful planned.

"I think I'm going to leave before I hear anything that'll force me to report the two of you." Lily said, catching Remus' eye to give him a small wink.

She had started overlooking many of the things the marauders did, partially because she and Remus had become close friends, partly because they would sometimes target people who had given her trouble, and partly because she was just tired of trying to keep up with them. This time she was mostly overlooking it because she wanted Remus to have some time alone with Sirius, hoping that it would be an incentive for Remus to trust in her plan.

Remus watched Lily flip her hair as she strode off to her Advanced Potions class. He was suddenly terrified that she left him, afraid that he may do something that he would regret, but then he felt a sudden thrill of excitement. Lily had said that she had a plan and immediately he found himself with the chance to be alone with Sirius while all the other students in school were occupied with classes. Normally he would refuse to skip a class, but suddenly he was feeling adventurous and matched Sirius' smile with his own flawless marauder's grin.

"What'd you have in mind?" He asked, a brow quirking in a way that always made Sirius giddy with excitement.

Remus thought he'd died and gone to heaven when, not thirty minutes later, he found himself huddled under James' cloak with Sirius, who had pulled it from his bag. They both could remember when three of them could fit under the fabric of the cloak rather comfortably; even all four of them if they were very careful, but now it seemed extremely cramped with just the two of them. Remus could feel where Sirius was pressed behind him and could feel his body shift as he turned to check the way they'd come every so often, wanting to be sure they were alone. The shift of muscles against his back was excruciating, and Remus had to concentrate very hard to keep from pressing his ass back against Sirius, his imagination wanting to see if the feel of Sirius' crotch against it felt the way it had always pictured. But Remus was strong and kept his mind focused on the task at hand.

They were walking the corridors of the dungeon, which was always more difficult than would be expected; the cloak made them invisible, but not silent, and their footsteps echoed up and down the stone corridors. They were making their way to Slughorn's store rooms. While Sirius could out brew Remus in potions, Remus was still able to identify ingredients with a greater accuracy than his black haired friend.

"We have to get this done before classes let out." Sirius whispered against the shell of Remus' ear, making the other boy jump, a hand flying up to cover the sensitive bit of cartilage.

"Stop breathing in my ear!" Remus hissed, hoping he sounded annoyed and not painfully turned on. "And I know that already. We're almost there."

Remus hated how hard his heart was beating, worried that the other boy might feel it, pressed against his back the way he was, but he supposed that he could blame the fear of being caught if ever asked about it. It only seemed to get worse, however, when they finally made their way into the ingredients closet, as it further cramped them. Remus was trying to find what they needed, but was finding it increasingly hard to think as Sirius shifted restlessly behind him, causing their bodies to slide together.

"Keep still!" Remus scolded his friend. "I can't concentrate with you squirming around like that!"

Remus sighed in relief as he felt the body behind him still, allowing him to go back to the bottles on the woefully unlabeled shelves. Remus had located the ingredient they needed, but found himself stalling, not quite ready to give up the close proximity. When they heard loud foot steps outside the door, however, he regretted his stalling. Both boy's jumped and Remus felt Sirius' arm slide around his waist, pulling him even closer to his body in order to ensure their total coverage by the cloak. They were both perfectly still for a few moments as they listened to the footfalls outside the door, and Remus thought for a moment that he felt an answering rhythm beating inside Sirius' chest that seemed just as hard and fast as his own. Eventually the sounds outside the small closet ebbed away and they both relaxed, Sirius' arm dropping away from his friend who he'd learned smelled very much like the library. The scare had made Remus less interested in stalling. He carefully pulled the small, padded bottle of erumpent fluid from the shelf.

"Alright. I have it. We have to be really careful on our way back." He said nervously.

He had handled erumpent fluid before in a class, but had never had to transport it any great distance. He had also never seen it explode in person, but hearing stories left him contented to remain ignorant on that particular topic.

He wondered at himself. Sirius had not yet told him what they had planned that included the use of such a dangerous substance, as he and James often kept their more ingenious pranks a mystery until the reveal, always saying that it would ruin the surprise. Yet here he was, helping him acquire a highly regulated substance without questioning his intentions at all. He sometimes hated how he was unable to say 'no' to the other boy, but the whispered "Thank you" against his ear somehow made it all seem alright.

* * *

><p>"Well?" Lily asked expectantly the next day when they met in the library.<p>

"I've told you a hundred times, Lily. I'm not going to be your informant." Remus said, setting his jaw defiantly.

"I don't care what you stupid marauders are up to." Lily said with a smile and a roll of her eyes. "I want to know what happened with you and Sirius after I left!" She was laughing by the time she finished her sentence, as Remus' face had gone from surprised to confused to adorably pink. "Well?" She asked again.

Remus fought the grin tugging at his lips, but lost. He was nearly ashamed of the sheepish smile that crept onto his face and had to look down at his books out of embarrassment. The previous night had been nearly perfect. When they'd returned to their dorm with the erumpent fluid, James and Peter had still been off in class. Together they had poured over some books that Sirius had taken from the library earlier on. The proximity of sharing a book had made Remus feel all bubbly inside, as though they were brewing a potion inside his stomach. Remus had learned that the erumpent fluid was to be used to make decorative explosions of some kind, but Sirius still refused to give the details away.

Remus opened his mouth to try and tell Lily just how wonderful his evening had been, but as soon as he looked at the way she smiled expectantly at him he started laughing embarrassedly, which only caused Lily to laugh along with him.

"That good?" she asked.

"Yeah, it was good." Remus admitted, unable to wipe the love-sick grin from his face.

"Does that mean you'll trust in my plan now?" She asked, raising a brow questioningly.

"Well… I still dunno." He admitted, his smile relaxing some, but not disappearing. "I mean, that really had nothing to do with your plan. He was looking for me already."

"Minor details." She said dismissively with a wave of her pale hand. "I'm telling you. This will be perfect. I mean, isn't the idea of Sirius rushing to your rescue just too good to pass up?"

Remus sighed noncommittally. He still didn't like the idea of trying to emulate girls like Debbie and Helena. They were fine, and he didn't have anything against them personally, but he hated the idea of women presenting themselves as incapable in the hopes of drawing out a man's protective nature. Then again, Sirius did seem to be drawn to that type. And the feel of falling against his friend's body instead of the floor had been pretty fantastic.

"Fine." Remus said after a few more moments of contemplation. "I'll go along with your plan. _For now._" He emphasized as he saw the excitement grow in Lily's eyes.

"Perfect! I've already got the first go planned out." She said, leaning over the table in a way that made Remus think that she would make a good addition to the marauders. "Tonight, while you're all in the common rooms, make like you're writing a letter."

"To who?" Remus interrupted with his question.

"It doesn't matter. It could be a blank piece of paper, just make sure that Sirius knows its a letter. When you're finished, tell him, and the others so you don't seem too obvious, that you're going to pop over to the Owlery to send it off. Make sure to leave your wand on the table where they can find it, and your robes."

"My robes? But it's the middle of winter. It's freezing out there!" Remus said indignantly.

"Yes, that's exactly the point. I'll meet you up there and we can set it up like you've accidentally been locked inside. Without your wand you can't get the door open, and without your cloak you'll be freezing." Lily continued.

"But I hate the cold." Remus whined a little.

"Well how badly do you want Sirius to save you? You can handle a bit of cold for a while for the rewards, right?" She said, patting his arm.

"Uh…" Remus looked uneasy. "I'm not sure how I feel about this. Couldn't we pick a slightly warmer danger for me to be in?"

"This will be perfect. You'll be cold when he finds you so he'll feel the need to _warm you up._" She said with a waggle of her thin eyebrows.

Remus felt his face go hot again, remembering the time spent sharing Sirius' coat. Maybe he could deal with the cold for a bit if it meant spending a few more minutes huddled up with him.

"How can I be sure he'll know to come get me?" Remus asked, trying to remain level headed.

"You'll have left all the information he needs. Plus I'll head straight back there like I'm looking for you. I'll give him a nudge in the right direction.

Remus mulled things over for a few minutes. What they were planning really was dangerous. He was not exaggerating when he said that it was freezing out. It had been snowing for several days, and there was an intense wind that had been howling against the castle. If no one came to let him out, he could very possibly freeze to death over night. He eased his uncertainty by reminding himself that Lily was a very capable girl, and would certainly come to free him if Sirius took too long to catch on, and so, against his better judgment, he nodded.

"Alright." He finally said.

"Perfect!" Lily said happily with a clap of her hands. "We'll have Sirius fawning over you in no time."

Remus was still feeling a little uncertain.

* * *

><p><strong>TBC<strong>


	4. Chapter 4

**Onwards and upwards! Hope you enjoy. **

**Thanks as always for the great reviews. I've really enjoyed talking with some of my reviewers over PMs. If you ever feel like chatting, feel free to send me a PM!**

**No real warnings to speak of, save for mild language and mild violence. **

**Enjoy!**

* * *

><p>Remus was surprised by the guilt he could feel creeping up his spine as he set out to write his fake letter. Technically, he told himself, it was not a fake later, because he was, in fact, planning to send it to his mother. It wasn't his fault that he may <em>happen <em>to get locked in the owlrey while sending it. Unfortunate accidents like that happen to people all the time. Of course, they happen more regularly to people who do stupid things like try to put themselves in danger so their crush will save them.

He sighed, irritated that lying to himself wasn't working the way he'd hoped it would. He was making a very stupid choice, and he knew it. Reminding himself that he had resigned himself to his decision, he tried finishing his letter. The common room was moderately noisy where he shared a table with his friends, each of whom were working on an essay he'd finished several days ago.

He often distracted himself by observing the different faces they made and different techniques they used when concentrating on their homework. Peter was the worrying type. He would pull at his hair and gnaw his fingernails to stubs, all while huffing and sighing periodically. James was the blank-starer and spurt-writer type. When he was trying to recall information that had been lost somewhere in his head, he would grow exceedingly still and stare into space, then suddenly lunge at his paper when he'd finally caught it. Remus imagined sometimes that whatever it was he was trying to recall was a little snitch flying around his brain. You could see in his eyes when he would come close. The information would be at the tip of his fingers, but would zip away before he could really grab hold of it. He also saw the look of victory when he finally remembered what he was searching for, not unlike the excited look he had when he'd caught hold of the real snitch on the quidditch pitch. Remus often wondered why he didn't just look up the information instead of trying so hard to chase it down. Then again, he also wondered why, if everyone wanted the snitch so badly, they bothered to release it in the first place.

Remus turned his eyes to Sirius next. His crush was the most bothersome sort of study partner, though. He was quiet, but he was a bit of a _fondler._At least that was what Remus called it. When he was concentrating he would touch himself in certain places. Sometimes he would roll his ear lobe between his fingers for several minutes. At other times he would run his finger along the arch of his eyebrow over and over. But what distracted Remus the most was when he would trace his lower lip with his finger tip, pausing to pinch it lightly every so often. This was precisely the reasons Remus did so much of his schoolwork in the library. When Sirius was around, he would spend all of his time trying to _not_ watch him fondle his own softly looking lips instead of focusing on his assignment. He would try to ignore the little flash of pink as his tongue would slip out to touch his fingertip every so often, or the way he would rake his beautifully white teeth across the supple flesh. Remus hoped that Sirius had no idea what he was doing, because if he did, he was a very, very cruel man.

Taking note of the time, Remus realized that Lily would be at the owlrey to meet him very soon. Earlier on in their studying he'd nonchalantly placed his wand on the table where all three of his friends could clearly see it. He'd tried to seem irritated as he did so, hoping they would think it had been jabbing him in a way that made it uncomfortable to keep in his pocket. He'd also left his robes draped purposefully over the back of his chair. Clearing his throat, he stood up, letting his chair scrape annoyingly on the ground, to be sure that he had a certain boy's attention.

"Well, I'm off to send this." Remus said, trying to sound casual.

The only answers he received from his friends consisted of a few grunts or hums of acknowledgment, which he was fine with, as he'd not considered what to say if they reminded him to bring his wand. The walk to the main gate was quick, but Remus found himself stalling as he felt the cold radiating from the other side of the main doors, even before opening them. He was sure he'd lost his mind. Not only did he hate the cold, he was also far too level headed to be doing something so stupidly dangerous. But there he was, and after a moment of hesitation he pushed the doors open and exited the castle.

The sweater he wore was no match for the cold wind that shot straight through the knitting, immediately raising goose bumps on his skin. Reminding himself what the reward would be, Remus folded his arms tightly across his chest and started his way up the stone path that lead to the west tower, and to the owlrey. The walk seemed to take ages, and he slipped several times on the ice that had formed on the stone stairs that wound up the outside of the tower. By the time he reached the top he was feeling miserable, and a might irritable.

"There you are." Lily said happily as she saw him round the last corner on his way to the entrance of the owlrey proper.

"Don't _you_ look cozy?" Remus asked, hating the look of Lily bundled up in her winter coat.

"You'll be alright." Lily said sympathetically. "Its actually a bit warmer inside. Why don't you go on in?"

Remus did as she asked, though he refused to look happy about it. Once he was inside he noticed that Lilyhad removed the handle from that side of the door, effectively making it impossible to open from his end without the use of magic. Ceremony aside, Lily closed the door, leaving him trapped.

"It shouldn't take me long." Lily called through the heavy wood of the door.

"Just hurry up! It smells like shit in here!" He called back.

Lily finally felt a small churning in her stomach, feeling guilty for leaving him in the cold like she was, but she knew that her plan would work. And even if it didn't, a hot bath would solve all of Remus' problems. While she felt slightly reassured, she still wasted no time in getting back to the common room, wanting to send Sirius out to get him as soon as she could.

The warmth of the fire in the small space seemed almost too intense after spending time outdoors, and she immediately shed her heavy coat. The room had grown noisier since Remus had left, as students were returning from the great hall. Students were gathered in small groups, usually centered around tables or collections of cushy armchairs. The remaining members of the marauders were in the same place Remus had left them. Putting on an air of indifference she made her way over to their table.

"Have you lot seen Remus?" She asked.

While the others ignored her mostly, she at least had James' attention, but she knew that wasn't hard to acquire. She had always found it annoying how James fawned over her. She thought the way he groveled and tried to impress her meant that he'd thrown away all of his dignity, but now that she realized how eerily similar his grin was to the one she'd seen on Remus' face, she felt slightly embarrassed.

"Remus?" James asked a bit distantly, glancing around. "Huh, he was here just a minute ago."

"No! He can't have gone! I need him to proof read my essay!" Peter said as he suddenly realized their quieter friend was gone. "Maybe he's just gone to the loo."

"He's gone to send a letter." Sirius said distractedly, still paying attention to his paper.

"He has?" Peter asked. "How d'you know _that_?"

"Because, rat brain, he just told us that's where he'd gone." Sirius said with a sigh, rubbing between his brows with one finger; concentrating on homework really didn't suit him.

"Really?" James asked, as he'd not paid any more attention than Peter had.

"Oh." Peter said distantly.

Lily suppressed her grin when she realized Sirius was the only one paying close enough attention to Remus to know where he'd gone. She was feeling more and more that they would not have to work as hard as they thought to catch Sirius' interest.

"Odd for him to send it _now._" Lily said, trying to sound casual.

"Why's that?" James asked, grinning stupidly at her. "Oh! You should sit down!" He said, suddenly getting up to pull Remus' chair out for her to sit.

"It's _odd_," She said while rolling her eyes at James' attitude, though she still took the seat, "Because its freezing outside, isn't it? Don't you usually have to twist his arm to get him out in the cold?"

"Not always." Peter said contemplatively, realizing how odd it was that Remus loved making snow forts and participating in snowball fights, even while cursing the cold in rather colorful language; Peter also realized that ninety percent of all cussing he'd heard from their bookish friend was cold induced.

"Anyway," James interrupted, scooting his chair closer to Lily. "He's fine in the cold as long as he's got something warm on." James propped his chin up with his elbow and grinned stupidly at her. "But I'm going to start getting jealous if you keep talking about other men like that."

"The answer's still 'no,' Potter." Lily said with a roll of her eyes, annoyed that this was taking so much work. "And by 'something warm' do you mean _this_?" She asked, holding up the robes that were draped over the back of the chair.

"Huh." Peter said, "Well that's a bit odd."

"He probably sent it out from somewhere else. I know Pomfrey has sent mail for him before." Sirius said. "Besides, we all know he wouldn't be stupid enough to go out there without his coat. You guys are worrying too much."

Lily felt suddenly nervous. Apparently his friends were so used to him being bright and capable that they weren't even considering the possibility of him being in trouble. This was not something that she had anticipated.

"Well what about this?" She asked, holding up his wand. "It's not like him to wander off without his wand. He could be in trouble."

"He doesn't need his wand to mail a letter." Sirius said, sounding a bit offended. "Why are you talking about him like he's some stupid child? We all know that he's probably the most capable out of the lot of us. He's not going to do anything that would land him in trouble. You're being stupid." He finished, glaring a bit at Lily.

"Hey!" James said, jumping to Lily's defense, but Lily stood before he could continue.

"You're the one that's too bloody dense to see what's right in front of you, Black." She snapped at him, "I'm going to find Remus."

With an unintentional flip of her hair as she spun toward the portrait hole, she stalked away from the table. Before she could make it to the exit, however, her path was blocked by another girl with straw colored waves of hair falling over her shoulders. Lily could see the group of girls she'd stepped away from, all of them looking as though they had put her up to the confrontation.

"And where are _you_ running off to?" Debbie asked, jutting out one hip and folding her arms over her stomach.

"Excuse me?" Lily asked, not seeming very impressed by the other girl's attitude.

"Are you off to try and make out with _my boyfriend_ again?" She said, venom clear in her voice.

"What?" Lily asked, rolling her eyes, feeling like the whole room was full of idiots.

"What?" She heard James' voice, which was at a comically high pitch, from the table behind her, though she ignored it; he was obviously upset for a wholly different reason.

"And who is your boyfriend, exactly?" She asked in a bored voice.

"You know I'm talking about Remus, you twat!" Debbie raged, stomping her foot childishly..

Lily's couldn't keep the surprise from her face as she realized who she was speaking with. She pitied Remus even more now, knowing that he would not be happy to hear her referring to him as her boyfriend.

"What?" She repeated, and this time heard a different voice echo hers.

"What?" Sirius blurted out, his chair scrapping loudly on the floor as he stood.

"Oh don't act so surprised, Sirius." Debbie said, looking past Lily to turn her nose up at her ex-boyfriend. "He's a far better man than _you _ever were."

"Remus is _not_ your boyfriend." Lily said, stepping between Debbie and Sirius, the latter of whom was suddenly walking toward them as though on a war path.

"Don't be so full of yourself, Evans!" Debbie sneered, obviously drawing on some long held insecurities. "You think just because he studies with you he's interested? Don't make me laugh. And now here you are, flirting with Sirius behind his back?"

"Now hold on a minute!" James said, suddenly joining the small circle that was forming around the two girls. "She was flirting with _me!_"

"I wasn't flirting with _anyone!_" Lily said, obviously exasperated by James' attention to the wrong issue.

"And you _aren't _dating Remus." Sirius added, practically spatting the words at her.

"What's wrong, Sirius?" Debbie asked, planting a hand on her hip, "Jealous now that I'm over you? I hate to burst your little ego bubble, but Remus asked me on a second date before he was called away by the headmaster."

Sirius couldn't stop the rude laughter at her comment, and Lily finally realized what had lead this girl to believe she and Remus had something together. Remus, while he could be unintentionally rude at times, was never good at being rude purposefully. She had likely taken his attempts to be polite the wrong way, and soon she was laughing as well, the sheer improbability of Remus ever going for a girl like Debbie being too much for her.

"You really are thick, aren't you?" Lily said, both hands coming to her hips in a sign of superiority. "You have absolutely no chance of being with him." She said soberly, "He was just trying to be polite to you so he wouldn't ruin Peter's date."

She felt a thrill of victory as she saw the insult on the other girl's features and watched her turn her attention to her friends, as though to gauge what it was she should do.

"Give up on him. Trust me, you have no chance. Now if you'll excuse me, I have someplace to go." Lily finished and walked past Debbie, as though she had been a waste of her time.

Lily was amused by the other girl's delusions of romance, finding it shocking that the other girl had not been able to read Remus' behavior correctly. She found herself wishing she'd been a fly on the wall for their 'date' and couldn't wait to relay what had happened to Remus, whom she hoped would find it laughably ridiculous, and not frustratingly annoying. Any amusement Lily felt for the moment was gone very quickly though.

Most of the students in the common room had stopped what they were doing to watch the noisy confrontation, and just as she was approaching the portrait hole, she heard a sudden surge in the volume of the room. Over the shouting she heard James' voice shouting her name, but before she could turn to see what the crowd was carrying on about she felt a hard blow to her head. Her legs suddenly felt as though they'd turned to liquid, and later she would vaguely recall hitting the floor before she lost consciousness.

James felt panic spear him as he saw Debbie grab up the heavy glass dish that kept an assortment of candies from the table near her friends, who were cheering her on. Before any of them could stop her she'd caught up to Lily, bringing it down hard over the prefect's head. They watched Lily crumple under the blow, shards of glass and bits of candy spreading over the floor.

* * *

><p>"I can't believe you dated that crazy broad." James said as they made their way back to the common room, pulling his robes more tightely around himself, as even the corridors of the castle had grown chilly since the sun had set.<p>

"I'll be the first to admit that my taste in women is shit." Sirius sighed, wanting to get back to their room and snuggle up under his blankets.

They had both been in Professor McGonagall's office giving statements. Luckily for Debbie, a second year had been unnerved by the argument and had gone to fetch the head of their house. Had she not entered the common room when she did, several of the students, two marauders in particular, might have extracted a bit of revenge for the assault on their favorite prefect. Lily had been taken immediately to the hospital wing, and while neither of them had been able to see her, they were reassured by Professor McGonagall that she would be fine and would regain consciousness by morning.

"Do you think any of what she said about her and Moony was true?" James asked, looking uneasy at the thought, and slightly nauseated.

"Absolutely not. Remus is far too bright to make the kinds of stupid mistakes I do." Sirius said, grinning as his friend laughed at the recognition of his less that intelligent choice making skills.

They were both glad to enter the warmth of the common room, which had nearly emptied since they left at the end of the quarrel, though there were still a few stragglers. They had both been in McGonagall's office for several hours, and most of the students had likely gone to bed. When they'd finally made it to their dorm, however, they were surprised to see Peter laying in his bed with his magazines, as was his nightly routine, but Remus' bed still empty.

"Where's Moony?" Sirius asked their blonde friend.

"Huh?" He asked, looking up from his mag, then over at their missing friend's bed. "Oh, I thought he'd come back with the two of you."

"Has he been back at all?" James asked, going to look inside the bathroom for good measure.

"I haven't seen him." Peter said, going back to what he was doing. "He's probably in the library."

"No." Sirius said, suddenly sounding worried. "It's already past curfew. He wouldn't have stayed out on purpose without one of us with him."

It was true; Remus, while he was willing to break rules for the sake of a good prank, would never do so on his own. Even when they all had separate tasks to accomplish, would very rarely head out alone to do so. They often thought that it was a guilt issue. He felt less guilty for breaking the rules if he had a partner in crime.

" I don't like this." Sirius said after a moment.

"Well, there must be an explanation." James offered, trying to stay level headed. "He could have heard about Lily and stopped to check on her."

Sirius was quiet a minute, pacing between the beds, shaking his head periodically. Finally, when it seemed he'd made his mind up, he went to his trunk and pulled out his heavy coat, pulling it on over his jumper.

"I'm going to look for him." Sirius said.

"Outside?" James asked incredulously, still sticking by the knowledge that Remus would never leave the castle without his coat, especially in the winter.

"I'm gonna check the owlrey." Sirius said, and was gone before the other boys could respond.

James and Peter exchanged glances.

"I think they're _ both _mad." Peter said, snuggling further into his blankets.

* * *

><p><strong>TBC<strong>

**Evil place for a chapter break, I know! Sorry!**


	5. Chapter 5

**Hello, hello!**

**So I'm not completely happy with this chapter, but mulling over it for days wont do me any good. I hope you still enjoy it, and maybe in the future I'll revamp it!**

**No real warnings.**

* * *

><p>As Sirius made his way through the castle, only halfheartedly checking his path to keep from getting caught, he lamented not having the map with him. They had chosen to leave it in the care of the most responsible among them, so of course, Remus had it. He found it ironic that the one they needed the map to find, was the one with the map. He did, however, have enough sense to avoid exiting through the main doors. They had learned through past experience that the main doors had wards set on them, alerting the staff if tripped. Luckily for the marauders, they had found a secret passage that lead from the fourth cubicle of the girls' first floor bathroom to the grounds near the west tower, which conveniently, was precisely where Sirius was trying to get.<p>

He was still having a hard time believing anything had gone wrong, or rather, he was trying to reassure himself that things had not. It wasn't unusual for Remus to seek out privacy every so often, but he was never secretive about it, and he never did so during curfew hours. He suddenly wondered if Debbie had been at least partially right and Remus _did _have a girlfriend. Sirius often had secret meetings with girls at late hours, and they were often spur of the moment, leaving his friends unaware. The idea of Remus having some secret tryst with a girl, however, especially one Sirius had never met, left him feeling queasy. No matter how he tried, he could never envision a girl worthy of Remus, and on several occasions, when a young woman came to him to get information on Remus, he would seduce her in an attempt to keep them away from his friend. He'd never told Remus about it, though he had confided the secret to James, who had just given him a peculiar look that Sirius had never been able to place, and told him that he was worrying too much about it and that it was hurting his cause.

As he exited the castle, pushing the heavy stone door open to do so, he was immediately struck by the bitingly cold wind. Making sure to leave the door slightly ajar, as there were no handles on the outside, allowing it to blend in with the wall of the castle, Sirius made his way to the west tower. It was very dark, making the hike up the slowly turning staircase all the more difficult.

Reaching the top, he was relieved that the door opened without any trouble, though he figured he should check inside anyway, just for good measure. The open space was dark, save for a bit of light from the moon that filtered in through the large openings located around the circumference of the tower. Save for the rustling and cooing of owls, who were huddled together on the rafters above his head, everything was silent.

"Moony?" He called, taking a quick survey of the room, but hearing no response.

He felt a surge of relief, feeling reassured that his original assumption had been correct, and Remus had been far too smart to hang out in the owlery on such a foul night. Turning to leave he stopped before exiting, the edge of the door catching his eyes. Angling the door to get a look at the inside surface, he first noticed the missing handle, but what made his stomach tense was the sight of deep gashes and dents in the wood, presumably caused by the piece of rafter laying near his feet. It looked as though someone had been trying to beat the door down from the inside.

Panic suddenly gripping him, Sirius turned back toward the shadowy room.

"Moony?" He called a bit louder than before, making his way further into the space.

Just as Sirius was starting to think he had been wrong, that Remus was not there, he noticed a dark, inky blotch in the corner created by the stone wall and a few bales of fresh hay that would later replace the straw covering the floor. Sirius forgot to breath as he realized he'd found his friend.

Remus sat, huddled in the corner, his face pressed into his knees, presumably to keep both warm. His arms were folded across his stomach where they were sandwiched between his thighs and torso. The warmest article of clothing he had on was his uniform jumper.

"Remus!" Sirius choked.

He rushed to his friend's side, feeling strangely surprised by how small Remus looked, curled up the way he was. He had always been a bit lankier than Sirius, but he would have never thought of him as being _small. _As he knelt beside the balled figure, he felt his stomach turn over again as he saw the marauder's map laid out at his feet, a few names drifting down hallways, but most of them stationary where he knew their owners were tucked away for the night in their warm beds.

The idea of Remus sitting alone, watching his friends on the map and waiting for them to come find him, was heartbreaking. Sirius took his friend by his shoulders, trying to ignore the icy feeling of the knitting beneath his fingers, and gave him a gentle shake, calling his name again.

"Come on, Rem, look at me!" Sirius said, his heart pounding in his chest.

He felt his friend's body tense and shift just slightly, that much at least giving him the reassurance he was alive. Working his fingers between the other boy's knees and face he managed to separate the two, finally getting a look at Remus' too-pale face and blue tinted lips. His head seemed heavy in his hands, as though he were unable to hold it upright on his own, and without the weight of it holding his knees in place they slumped to the side.

"Come on, Moony. Wake up!" He said, slapping his cheek lightly, which elicited a small noise from the other boy's throat. "There you go."

Sirius leaned his friend back against the wall, freeing his hands to pull his own coat off. It was a bit of a challenge to get it wrapped around the mostly limp figure, though by the time he'd jostled him into the coat, Remus had started shivering, which he supposed was a good sign.

"P-pads?" Remus' voice was barely a whisper, but made Sirius' heart soar with relief.

"Yeah, it's me, Rem. I've got you now. Can you stand up?" He asked, getting to his own feet and trying to pull Remus up with him.

Remus tried to get his feet under him, but they seemed weak and were shaking with the effort of holding his weight. Were he in the right state of mind he would have been mortified by the pathetic warble that escaped him as they gave out from under him. Were he in the right state of mind, he would have also been beside himself with excitement, as Sirius had wrapped an arm around his waist, drawing him close to keep him upright. Pulling an arm over his own shoulders, Sirius took on most of his friend's weight as he began to guide him toward the door.

"You're gonna be alright." Sirius said as the start of a continuous stream of nervous rambling. "We're gonna get you to Madam Pomfrey and you'll be good as a griffin in no time!"

"Nn-nn..." Remus murmured, the thought of going to the hospital wing making it blearily through to his still frozen brain.

Remus never liked the Hospital Wing, as it reminded him of the time he spent there each month, but more than that, he knew Madam Pomfrey would tear him a new one if she found out what he'd done. The wrath of Pomfrey was far scarier than staying over night in the owlery.

Sirius' initial thought was to argue with his friend, knowing the best thing for him would be to turn him over to the care of a professional, but he also knew how Remus felt in the hospital wing. Once, toward the end of their 6th year, they had gone to visit Peter, who hand landed himself in an infirmary bed after a mishap with a secret potion they had been brewing. Sirius hadn't meant to brush up against Remus, but, as he did, he felt the other boy's figure trembling, not unlike the way he shook as they finally made it through the hidden door.

Deciding he could always bring Remus to Madam Pomfrey if he found himself unable to treat him, he steered them toward the dormitory. Sirius had thought the warmth of the castle would have returned some of the strength to Remus' legs, though they only seemed to get weaker, and by the time they made it to the common room, Sirius was practically carrying the other boy, who might have been mistaken for unconscious were it not for the low mumbling of apologies.

Making their way into the room they shared with the other marauders, they found their friends out of commission. They were both asleep, though James had, at least, had the decency to look as though he'd tried to stay awake, while Peter was snuggled down into his blankets. Sirius figured it didn't matter if they were awake or not, and took his still-weak friend straight to the bathroom. Their dormitory bathroom had no tub, so Sirius turned the shower on, being careful to keep the water lukewarm, as Remus' icy skin would be sensitive to the heat, all while keeping the boy upright with his free arm. Once the water was the right temperature he pushed the coat from his friend's shoulders and drug him under the spray, not bothering to remove the rest of their clothing.

"Come on, Moony. Stand up." Sirius said as he wrapped both arms around the narrow waist, trying to lift him up onto his feet, though Remus' head simply slumped forward onto his shoulder. "You have to stay awake, mate." He added, trying to keep the fear from his voice.

Sirius felt himself begin to panic as the body he held remained limp, though just before his fear reached it's peak he felt Remus' arms move around to his back, his thin fingers gripping the wet material of his jumper. He couldn't stop the relieved laughter that escaped him, and his arms tightened around his friend in a tight hug

"M'sorry, Pads." Remus said, his voice still slurred slightly.

"Don't apologize, Moony. I'm sorry I didn't come looking for you sooner." Sirius said, his voice slightly muffled from where his mouth was pressed into the fabric on his friend's shoulder.

Sirius kept Remus in the warmth of the shower, slowly increasing the temperature so as not to shock his body, for a long time. When he was sure he was strong enough to be alone, he settled him on the floor under the faucet while he went to fetch his clothes. Remus was finally starting to come around enough to feel like a complete moron. When he'd seen Lily's name on the map moving to the hospital wing, he realized just how stupid their plan had been. He had very nearly died, and he swore that he would put a stop to their plans as soon as he saw Lily again.

Then he saw Sirius reappear, divested of his wet clothes, a towel wrapped low around his hips, and he thought maybe the plan had been ingenious. He wondered if he had died in the owlery after all, as Sirius looked like an angel the way he descended on him . He tried to pinch himself as he felt warm hands guide his sweater over his head. He'd had many fantasies involving Sirius undressing him, and while he'd never included a near-death experience in those fantasies, he figured it was a reasonable trade.

"W-wait." Remus heard himself say when he realized that Sirius planned to undress him completely.

As soon as he'd said it, he wondered why he had. This was something he'd wanted for longer than he could remember. He had Sirius undressing him. He had a _mostly naked _Sirius undressing him. He'd imagined all the things he would do when he had an opportunity like this, but now that it was happening, he felt his heart leap up into his throat and his face burn with embarrassment.

"Relax." Sirius said with a bit of a laugh, "It wont do you any good if we warm you up just to get chilled again because of wet clothes."

After shutting the water off, Sirius pulled Remus to his feet and wrapped a cushiony towel around him, rubbing his arms to dry and warm them. Both boys were silent as Sirius meticulously dried his friend, neither of them seeming keen on making eye contact. During glances that Remus stole, he found his eyes lingering on Sirius' soft looking lips, as often happened.

_This is the kind of situation that I've been dreaming about. _He reminded himself. _I should take advantage of it. I should kiss him. He's so close, I could just lean forward. _

As he tried to talk courage into himself he felt his heart begin to speed up and his head spin slightly

_Just do it. _He encouraged himself. _Do it! _

Remus's fingers came up to hold onto Sirius' forearms where he was drying his hair for him, successfully stopping his movements. He had his attention now, that was good, but as the dark stormy eyes met his, he felt his mind begin to go blank, as often happened with such close intimate proximity. He wasn't aware of the way he wet his own lips, his breath growing shaky as his fingers moved to Sirius' elbows, tugging gently to move them closer together. He was going to do it, and Sirius seemed to be in the same trance he was, their figures seeming drawn toward each other like celestial bodies. Just as Remus felt Sirius' fingertips move from the towel to brush his jaw, however, the spell was broken by a loud thud coming from the bed room, followed by James appearing in the doorway.

"Moony!" He yelled, obviously excited and relieved to see him.

Remus and Sirius had separated themselves before James had entered the room, both of them seeming less than eager to be caught in whatever position they had been in.

"Are you alright?" He asked, "What happened?"

"I found him in the Owlery." Sirius answered for his friend. "Help me get him into bed, would you?" He turned back to Remus. "D'you need help getting into your pajamas?"

"...no." Remus said quietly, feeling that the shards of their shattered moment had completely disappeared. "Thank you."

"Call me when you're done if your legs still feel weak, alright?" Sirius smiled at him, as though everything were as it always had been. "I don't want to have to carry you any more. You're heavier than you look."

Remus' heart was still racing, and as the bathroom door closed again he sunk to the floor, his legs shaking too hard to support him any longer. He wondered if he'd imagined the gentle look he'd seen in his friends eyes, and tried to imagine what would have happened if James had not interrupted them. Struck by a realization,though, his disappointment slowly vanished, and he couldn't keep the smile from spreading across his face. Lily had been right. On their first attempt she had nearly won him a kiss. He thought, perhaps, another rescue would seal it for him, and he suddenly couldn't wait to see what she had planned for him next.

* * *

><p><strong>TBC<strong>


	6. Chapter 6

**Hey everyone!**

**Sorry for taking so long on this update. Real live is getting in the way of my writing again, so my updates might be slow here for a while. Also, I found this chapter surprisingly hard to write and kept getting stuck. I'm not really happy with it, and it's shorter than what I normally post, but I felt I needed to just get what I had up so that I wouldn't get stuck mulling around on it.**

**Thank you to everyone who left comments, and all of the comments about wanting an update. It really helped me push through my writers block.**

**Anyway, this isn't much, but I hope you like it. Hopefully the next chapter will be more exciting.**

****Warnings****

**None to speak of**

* * *

><p>If nothing else, Remus found that his short stay in the Owlery, and the almost-kiss afterwards, had given him new fuel for his fantasies. After James and Sirius, both of whom had to nearly carry him, as his limbs were still shaking and his body wouldn't stop shivering, put him to bed he'd had one of the most wonderful dreams of his life. In his dream, their moment in the shower had not been interrupted by their friend. Remus, feeling bold due to his dream-state, had pulled their bodies together and had felt a flip of excitement in his stomach when he found an answering hardness rubbing against his own, only a towel and the thin fabric of his underwear separating them. They had been kissing, though the detailed feelings of the kiss had been muddled, as it often was in his dreams, as he had little to no real life experience to use as fodder. It didn't matter though; he could still feel the euphoric state that Sirius' mouth inspired.<p>

Just as they had begun to vie for dominance, each taking turns pushing the other against the cold tiles of the shower wall, Remus felt himself start to drift toward wakefulness. He wondered for a moment what had caused him to wake up, but decided that it was likely the bright light shining on his face. Given that their window faced west, he knew that it was late in the day, and that he'd slept far longer than he'd intended. Squinting his eyes open he saw old looking breakfast items on his bed table.

"You should eat something." James said as he noticed his friend stir.

Moving to the now sun-bathed four poster, he took a seat, watching his friend rub at his eyes, his body stretching under the covers in his customary way.

"What time is it?" Remus asked groggily, finding that his muscles ached more than he'd expected.

"Past noon. I let McGonagall know you're ill, though, so no worries. You can just rest."

"So why aren't _you _in class?" Remus asked, unable to keep himself from smiling as he moved his hand to look at his bespectacled friend.

"Well…" James said, trying to look innocent, but unable to hide his amused expression. "We all just wanted to make sure our very best friend was alright. It would be heartless of us to just leave you here. We're gentlemen, after all."

Remus laughed at James' explanation, knowing full well that he and Sirius looked for any excuse to dodge class. It suddenly dawned on him that it was normally Sirius who sat at his bedside, bringing him food and drink when he was recovering from his monthly condition. Remus always knew it was one of the reasons he'd fallen so hard for the other boy. He may not seem it to those outside their circle, as Sirius liked to put on airs, wanting to come across as easy-going and flippant, but toward his friends he showed a side of himself that was so caring. Remus was sure it was the periodic time they spent together as care-giver and patient that had tipped his feelings from gratitude into blatant love. He liked to imagine he was special, that Sirius did these things for him because he might share some of those deeper feelings, but rationally he knew that were it Peter or James lying in bed once a month, every muscle screaming in pain and skin littered with scrapes and cuts, he would treat them the same.

"Merlin's ass hair, I feel like shit." Remus said, trying to smother the feelings his memories were stirring, glad that his new entry into their competition of 'Best Merlin-Based Expletive' got a chuckle from his friend. "Where's Padfoot?" He hoped his question seemed casual.

James grinned a bit to himself, finding it amusing how Remus thought he was being subtle.

"He went back up to the Owlery." James drawled, leaning back to prop himself up with his hands. "Said something about the door being vandalized. Said he wanted to check it out in daylight."

Remus blanched. He suddenly felt very foolish for thinking he could trick his friends. While he and Lily were both brilliant in their own right, he also knew his friends were parts of the well oiled machine of mayhem they formed. Each had their gifts and their areas of brilliance, and while he may not worry so much about Peter or James, both of whom had talents aimed more appropriately at execution of plans, Sirius' talents lied in development. He was the dreamer of plans, and could envision intricacies that left the others' minds spinning. He was suddenly sure he would never be able to hide his motives from the other boy.

As though on cue, the door to their dormitory swung open with a bang that left Remus' head pounding. Sirius seemed to be on a rampage as he stomped a straight line to his friend's bed, Peter stumbling in after him, his red face making it clear he'd struggled to keep up with the taller boy. Remus considered hiding under his blankets, but Sirius was at his bedside before he could make up his mind.

"Who was it?" Sirius demanded.

"Wh-what?" Remus tried to keep himself from stammering, hoping his expression came across as innocent.

"Don't play stupid with me Moony!" Sirius said as he loomed over him, showing an anger he rarely expressed toward his friends. "Who locked you in that Owlery?"

"What?" James interjected, looking shocked.

"The handle on the inside of that door had been forcefully removed by magic." Sirius said with a dramatic wave of his arm, throwing his hand in the direction of the west tower.

"How d'you know that?" James asked, looking both confused and impressed.

"Oh, I used Specialis Revelio." Sirius said, suddenly sounding proud of himself, as though he'd forgotten why he'd been angry.

"And it worked?" James asked, seeming surprised. He'd never been able to get the spell to work, and had begun to wonder if it was something they were taught as a prank from the teachers.

"Well, yeah." Sirius said, his chest puffing up a little, probably without him realizing it. "It's not so hard once you get into the right state of mind."

"Wow." Remus chimed in, hoping to keep him distracted. "That's really impressive, Padfoot."

"Thanks." Sirius said with a grin, basking in the compliments his friends gave him, though when he heard Peter clear his throat he seemed to snap back to his senses. "I mean, 'no!' I'm still angry!" He looked back at Remus. "Who locked you in there?"

Remus' mind had gone blank. He had no idea how to respond, though he was certain that telling him the truth simply wasn't an option.

* * *

><p>"So he thinks you're being bullied by someone?" Lily asked her hand resting on the lump she still had on her head.<p>

Remus had gone to see her in the hospital wing, though she insisted on leaving, saying she'd had enough of Pomfrey's 'cheery attitude.' They had gone, instead to their normal place in the library, feeling it was the only place they could get some privacy.

"I couldn't tell him the truth!" Remus said, his feet sharing his chair with him. "And he wasn't buying it being an accident, so when he started asking if someone had been messing with me I just…" he ran his fingernails over his own knees where they were propped by his chest as he gathered his thoughts. "I didn't say that I _was _being messed with, I just didn't say that I _wasn't_ either. I let him draw his own conclusions. That's not lying, right?"

"Well technically I suppose it's not." She said, rubbing between her eyes, as her head still throbbed painfully.

"He kept trying to get me to tell him who it was. I couldn't think of an answer so I just told him I didn't want to talk about it." Remus said defeatedly.

"Well that probably just made him more suspicious." Lily said soberly, obviously trying to devise a plan around this new hurdle.

"I know." He said, resting his face on his knees.

They were both silent for a while, neither of them really sure what they should do next. Remus had gone down to a late lunch with the other marauders after his confrontation with Sirius, and had been shocked by how angry Sirius stayed. The anger didn't seem directed at Remus, but it still made the more subdued boy uncomfortable. Sirius stuck exceedingly close to him, which, under normal circumstances, would be a dream, but he lacked Sirius' attention, which simply made it awkward. While his perturbed friend remained close, he spent his time scanning the people around them suspiciously, looking for even the slightest of negative expressions. Remus thought that, had another so much as quirked an impolite brow in Remus' direction, Sirius may have cursed them on the spot.

He hadn't meant to cause Sirius so much trouble, and he didn't want his friend feeling unhappy because of him, he just wanted his attention. His selfishness was what had caused the disruption in his friend's normally good mood, though, and now he wasn't sure how to fix things. He hoped that it would soon blow over, and once Sirius saw that no one was trying to kill him, things would go back to normal.

"You know, we may be able to use this to our advantage." Lily finally said after a few minutes of silence. "What better rescue than from a bully?"

"He would just insist on knowing who was doing it. Then I'd have to lie to him. I really hate having to lie." Remus said, his chin resting sulkily on the table now, his overly-long limbs spread out underneath it.

"Well, you could just tell him you don't know who it is." Lily suggested.

"And have him continue this _ultra_ vigilance, acting like anyone could turn around and shank me? No thanks. He's been paranoid all day; it's not like him at all. I don't like it."

Remus was a little surprised to hear himself say that, and more over, to realize that he meant it. The idea of Sirius being protective of him, of looking out for him, wasn't a bad one. He'd thought he'd appreciate the concern, thought it would make him feel special. Instead, he felt guilty. He felt like he'd robbed Sirius of his carefree nature, which was part of the other boy's appeal. He liked to see Padfoot acting as though he had no care in the world, all the while knowing what he had to put up with from his family. Even before he'd begun staying with the Potters, whom Remus had become extremely jealous of, he rarely let what they said or did bring him down. There were, of course, moments of frustration, or venting, or the very rare tear, but for the most part, Sirius was surprisingly well adjusted. It gave Remus comfort and strength. He felt it made him stronger and inspired him to not let his own condition sully his mood. What he didn't know was that Sirius thought the same things about him.

Putting a hand in her friend's hair Lily smiled sympathetically at him. She felt bad that things had taken such a poor turn, as she had only meant to help. She was sure the two of them could be very happy together, but was beginning to get the impression that Sirius was dead set on denying the feelings she was starting to suspect he harboured for their shared friend. She considered going to him and telling him bluntly that Remus was in love with him, but couldn't bring herself to betray Remus' trust that way. If it went poorly, their friendship could be ruined.

"Well, why don't we just put our plans on hold for a while? We'll give things a chance to calm down, and then we'll regroup. Alright?" Lily offered, petting his hair out of his eyes.

"Yeah." Remus said in a voice that sounded almost childish in its sulky nature. "I really don't want to cause trouble for him."

"Well that's just proof that you love him." Lily said gently, smiling as she watched color flood the boy's face. "He'll come around."

"Your optimism is almost annoying." Remus said, though he was smiling as he did so, removing any real insult from his words.

"Well we can't both be hansom young men in love with their best friend. So I guess I'll just have to be the optimist." She teased back, giving him a very light smack on his cheek as she stood up. "Come on. Let's see if we can't insight a party in the common room that we'll both have to pretend to ignore." She said with a wink.

Remus smiled. He knew that she was trying to not only make him feel better, but make Sirius happier as well. Sirius and James both loved to get their fellow Gryffindors riled up, and Remus thought it may be just what Sirius needed to relax and forget about his new job as an overbearing body guard.

Feeling a bit more optimistic as well, Remus packed his books away and left the library with lily, both of them trying to come up with excuses they'd give the head of their House if McGonagall happened to discover the less than secret party.

While Lily had succeeded in brightening Remus' mood, she had unwittingly destroyed someone else's. At an adjacent table which had been blocked from site by a heavy shelf of books, Debbie was trying to wrap her brain around what she'd heard. No matter how she interpreted the conversation one thing was clear: Sirius was trying to break her heart again, this time by taking Remus away from her. The black haired idol that she'd been able to date briefly had poisoned the mind of her new love, and she felt suddenly determined to keep him from taking that from her as well.


	7. Chapter 7

**Hey everyone! **  
><strong>I'm back and finally have time to write again!<strong>

**Thanks or being so understanding, and thank you to those who sent me messages of well-wishing. **

**I found it kind of hard to get back into the swing of the story, so I'm sorry if this chapter is sub-par. Hopefully things will get back to normal and I can get some regular updates going.**

*****Warnings*****

**Possible boredom ahead. Not a lot going on in this chapter.  
><strong>

* * *

><p>It hadn't been hard to get the students in the Gryffindor common room riled up into a party. Most would agree, after all, that they were the house of courage and obnoxiously loud parties that could sometimes even be heard down in the gloomy dungeons of the Slytherin common area. It was particularly easy to incite a riotous party when Sirius and James were at the helm. No one was ever sure how they got away with the things they did, but they had managed to get the house elves to bring up tables of snacks and drinks, and even Professor McGonagall seemed suspiciously unaware.<p>

As the main festivities began to wind down and groups began to break off into smaller cliques, the marauders found themselves engaged in one of their favorite party games.

"Hurry it up, ladies!" James said, obviously impatient.

"Give us a minute, would you, Potter?" Sirius said in mock annoyance before leaning back in close to Remus, his partner.

The game was one of Remus' favorites, as it promoted planning and didn't rely so much on physical abilities. He also liked it because it gave him an excuse to enjoy the proximity that whispering provided. They sat in a circle with the two other teams, the one to their left made up of Peter and James, the one to their right made up of Longbottom and Patil. In the middle of their circle was a strange selection of food items ranging from dessert puddings to kippers. The object of the game: concoct the most disgusting combination possible and pass it to the team on your left.

Remus loved this game, when he wasn't to drinking cups full of pre-digested vomit. He could feel Sirius' breath brush against him as he whispered though, and he could smell his shampoo as their bangs touched . Their knees rubbed together and when he got Sirius laughing evilly, their shoulders would bump up against each other.

"Alright." Sirius announced excitedly. "We have it."

Trying to keep their laughter in order, they worked together, to create the perfect beverage of disgust. They started with a few spoonfuls of bread pudding, followed by a handful of peas from dinner. To this they added two sardines, a small cube of jello, a scoop of mashed potatoes, and then toped the cup off with sweetened cream. The look on Peter's face as they handed it over to him was nearly enough to send them both over the edge in fits of laughter.

"A-are you sure you don't need more time to plan?" Peter asked with a thick swallow of terror.

"Stop being a ponce, Pete. I went last turn so now you have to go. Don't let them win. Drink it down!"

Peter whimpered pathetically, but soon all five of the boys were chanting for him, and eventually he steeled himself against the taste and gulped it down. Even over the loud roars of laughter and disgust they could hear their friend gagging as he forced it down.

"That's how it's done!" James said excitedly as he handed a cup of pumpkin juice to him.

"Awwww!" Sirius exclaimed disappointedly. "I really thought we'd have him with that one!"

Once Peter had recovered, he and James set about devising their attack on Longbottom and Patil. Still laughing, Sirius leaned back, propping himself up with his hands and looking over at Remus.

"I really _did_ think we'd get him with that one." he said with a slight shake of his head, making his hair wave gracefully against his shoulders. "Especially with those sardines."

"Well his fear of James' probably outweighs his fear of being sick." Remus pointed out, knowing their friend was a bit of a coward.

"True." Sirius agreed.

They both sat quietly for a while, watching the other two groups talking with each other. Remus had been happy to see Sirius relax once the party had started, though he still noticed the occasional darting glance whenever they heard a word that even resembled Remus' name, and every time it happened, Remus felt a small pang of guilt. He had never meant to cause Sirius so much trouble.

"So are you ever going to tell me?" Sirius suddenly asked, his voice conversational, but just quiet enough to keep what he was saying private.

"What?" Remus felt his stomach twist nervously. All he could think of was the _big _secret he was keeping from him, but he chose to play stupid until he was certain. "Tell you what?" His attempt at sounding casual was not one to be proud of.

"Who locked you in that tower?" Sirius asked sternly, but kept the frustration from his voice.

"Oh, that." Remus said, feeling himself decompress slightly.

"Yeah, that." Sirius said, sitting back up.

Just as Remus thought his blood pressure had dropped back down to a normal level, however, he felt Sirius lay his hand over his knee. His heart rate and body temperature suddenly shot through the roof and he hoped Sirius hadn't noticed.

"I'm really worried about you, Rem." he said, showing his sincerity by not only using his real name, but the shortened version that only he used. "Why won't you tell me what's going on?"

"I just..." Remus had to look away from him, the expression making him want to spill the whole story. He had to find a middle ground where he could tell the truth without giving everything away. "The truth is..." He felt Sirius' fingers tighten on his knee slightly. "I got locked up there because I just made a really stupid decision. No one was trying to hurt me, Padfoot. I promise."

"Is that really all you're going to tell me?" Sirius asked, obviously aware of his half-truth. "I really don't want to talk about this, Pads." Remus said imploringly, hoping that his friend would just drop it before he let slip something he'd regret.

"You know you can't lie to me." Sirius said, leaning in closer to him, his voice low and surprisingly intimate in the slowly shrinking space between them.

"I'm not lying." Remus argued weakly, his heart beginning to pound against his ribcage in a way that made him wonder if Sirius could hear it.

"But you _are _keeping something from me, Moony. I can tell. I can always tell." Sirius said, the unspoken reminder of the way he'd figured out about this monthly problem hanging heavy and unspoken between them.

Remus felt a surprising surge of annoyance at his crush's boasting, frustrated by his claim when he hadn't even realized the hidden feelings he'd been harboring toward him. According to Lily he hadn't been hiding it well, either, which just made the situation more irritating.

"Don't be so full of yourself, Padfoot. There's a lot about me that you don't know." Remus said, not realizing how dangerous it was to bait him even while he was determined to keep his feelings a secret.

"Oh really?" Sirius said with a smile that made Remus' heart freeze, as it was surprisingly flirtatious looking. "Is that a challenge?"

Before Remus could formulate a response, or even realize that his mouth was hanging open, they were interrupted by an eruption of whooping and cackling as Frank Longbottom downed a surprisingly mauve concoction. Frank had a unexpectedly strong stomach and had, on more than one occasion, been the last standing.

Sirius seemed to forget about their conversation as Patil started mixing his drink. He'd been waiting for his chance to exact revenge on the black haired boy after being sent to the toilet to be violently ill during their previous game, and so Sirius was nervous to see what he had planned for him. Taking a few deep breaths, Remus tried to tell himself that he had been imagining the suddenly heavy mood that had come over them. His heart was still fluttering slightly, even while he convinced himself that Sirius had been acting completely normal and that he'd just been reading into the conversation. Remus was interrupted again by the sound of Sirius complaining as Patil began smashing asparagus and brussel sprouts that he had apparently snuck in from supper.

"I heard from a very reliable source that you have a slight aversion to these." Patil said with a grin.

"You've gotta be kidding me!" Sirius complained and then turned to Remus imploringly. "Moony! You've gotta take this turn for me! Please!"

"No way!" Remus said as he pulled a face. He didn't particularly like dark greens either.

"Pleeeaaase! They're gonna make me barf! I'll play you for it!" He said suddenly, holding his fist out.

"Pads, you can't just play rock-paper-scissors every time you want to avoid something." Remus said, leaning some.

"Scared cause I always win?" Sirius teased, smiling since he knew that Remus would never let him get away with such slander.

Feeling the sudden thrill of competition, Remus extended his hand to meet the challenge.

"Ha!" Remus crowed triumphantly as his fingers closed over Sirius's flattened hand, mimicking the motion of cutting through it. "Did you really think I was going to choose rock again after the last time?"

Sirius whined incoherently, unhappy that he had lost. His hand closed around Remus' blade fingers and he fell back onto the floor in an imitation of a temper-tantrum. He refused to let Remus go, however, and so as he rolled around on the floor he pulled Remus along with him, forcing the thinner boy to kneel over him where he was laughing at his childish behavior.

Sirius had released him after that and had faced his concoction quite bravely. The game had ended there, however, as the brussel sprouts had not let Sirius get all the way through his pumpkin juice, sending him to the loo instead. They were lucky that he hadn't simply been sick in the center of their circle, as often happened when Peter lost. With the game ended, the group began to break up. James had seen that Lily had finally separated herself from the group of friends she'd been with and wandered over to try talking to her. Peter had excused himself, saying he felt ill as well and wanted to lie down. Longbottom and Patil had laughed triumphantly and left to boast.

Even with the party going on around him, Remus suddenly found the space very quiet. He watched James and Lily talking for a while and wondered how James could be so open about his feelings, even when Lily continued to refuse him. He tried to imagine what he would do if Sirius reacted the way Lily did toward James and was sure he would end up face down in the lake.

Remus was still deep in his thoughts when he heard a girl's voice calling his name. He felt a sudden surge of discomfort when he realized, a split second before seeing her approach, that it was Debbie. He wondered how she was allowed back into the common room after what she'd done, but apparently she spent her days in detention and had just been sent back for bed. Of course, McGonagall had no idea she was sending her straight into a house-wide party.

"I don't want to talk to you, Debbie." Remus said sternly as he got up to leave.

"Wait! Please, I'm sorry, I just want to talk!" Debbie insisted as she hurried over to him.

"You assaulted my friend. There's nothing to talk about!." Remus snapped at her, though instead of making her look remorseful, she only looked boastful.

"Well I think you might want to hear _this. _In fact, I think a lot of people might want to hear about your crush on Sirius." She said, purposefully making her voice loud enough to get someone's attention, but just quiet enough to remain part of the general racket.

Remus felt himself freeze to the spot he stood, all the heat draining from his face. He thought he should deny it since she was probably looking for excuses to cause trouble.

"I heard you and Evans talking in the library today. Seems you're in pretty deep." She said cockily, moving closer to where he was still standing.

"What do you want, Debbie?" He asked after taking a deep breath to calm himself.

"I don't want you to be in love with him." Debbie said, sounding surprisingly compassionate. "He's a horrible person, Remus. He would just break your heart. And he's trying to break my heart again by making you like him!"

"He's not _making _me do anything." He sighed, seeing that he was really just talking to an emotionally confused girl. "I'm sure he didn't hurt you on purpose, Debbie." He said, putting a thoughtful hand on her shoulder. "He's just... like that I guess. He has a really short attention span. He wasn't trying to break your heart."

Remus thought he'd finally gotten through to her as she looked down, seeming a bit remorseful.

"Then you should give up on him too." She said in voice that was almost annoyingly pouty. "You should go out with me instead. Like you promised."

"Look," Remus said with a sigh. "I'm sorry if I gave you that impression when we went to the tea house, but the truth is, I'd only gone because Peter had asked me to." He felt guilty for being so brutally honest. "When I said we should do it again, I was just trying to be polite. Besides, whether Sirius likes me back or not is kind of irrelevant. I think I, um..." Remus paused again, still nervous to admit this sort of thing. "Well, I think I only like boys."

Remus could feel his face heating up a bit as he admitted his preferences out loud, and he thought for a second that this had been the best option. If she knew that there was no way for him to be interested in her, then surely she'd give up. What he found instead was that it was the worst possible thing he could have done. When Debbie looked back at him again, she was smiling in a way that made him feel a bit ill.

"Well then, if you don't want the whole school to know about your little dick sucking problem, I suggest you go out with me." She said.

"Excuse me?" Remus said, hoping desperately that he'd imagined the sudden personality swap.

"You heard me. Go out with me, or I tell the whole school you're a fucking knob jockey. I'm sure Sirius would be excited to hear about it."

The room seemed suddenly cold as Remus processed his situation, deciding that things looked surprisingly bad for him.


	8. Chapter 8

**Sorry for the wait on this chapter! Its mostly dialogue, but I hope you enjoy it! **

****WARNINGS****

**Mildly bad language, but nothing else to worry about.**

* * *

><p>"She <em>what<em>?"

Remus had been right to bring Lily outdoors to give her the news about Debbie. He had a feeling her reaction would be a noisy one, and knew the library patrons would not appreciate it. They sat, instead, bundled against the cold on the quidditch stands. James and Sirius were down on the pitch preparing for practice with the rest of the Gryffindor team and were thus properly distracted. Remus still covered her mouth after that particular shout, however, since he saw both his friends look up to where they were sitting.

Sirius scowled unhappily from where he was standing on the pitch, his fist tightening around the small bat he was carrying, knowing they were talking about Remus' new romantic situation. He suddenly had the urge to hit a bludger into Debbie's face. He'd nearly flown off the handle when Remus had told him the news. He could see in Remus' face that he wasn't particularly happy about the arrangement, but no matter how hard he pushed, his bookish friend refused to say anything more about it. He was hiding something, and he wondered if it had anything to do with the secrets he still kept regarding the owlery incident.

"You listening, Pads?" James' voice suddenly broke through his murderous thoughts. "Are you still stuck on Remus having a girlfriend?" He asked teasingly when he saw Sirius' foul expression.

"You should be just as angry, Prongs." Sirius snapped. "That girl tried to bash in your pretty flower's head, remember?"

"I never said I liked her." James said firmly, but surprisingly offhandedly. "But I _am _trying to figure out if you're unhappy that he's dating her in particular, or if it's just that he's found a girl."

"What's that supposed to mean?" Sirius snarled under his breath.

James found it funny that Sirius' bad temper seemed to vanish when Remus was around. He wondered sometimes if anyone else knew it existed, as he felt he was the only one who ever had to deal with it. It never bothered him, as their relationship was closer to that of a pair of brothers. They fought easily, and often violently, but made up just as quickly. Arguing and purposefully angering the other was part of their relationship, and neither of them would change it.

"I think you know exactly what it means." James said with a grin that Sirius didn't need to see to know it was there.

Sirius felt his stomach squirm uncomfortably. He would never admit it out loud, but he was starting to get the impression that James may already know about it: his urge to lock Moony away. It bubbled up inside him sometimes, and the intensity of it made him uncomfortable. It was especially strong when the brown haired boy began getting close to other people. The intensity of the feeling scared him.

"The rest of the team's waiting on you, princess." James teased, pulling Sirius from his thoughts.

Sirius didn't say anything, but did turn his attention back to his practice, glad for the distraction. He was glad for the distraction from his monopolizing thoughts.

"She's blackmailing you? Just to get you to date her?" Lily howled angrily

"Will you keep it down?" Remus hissed at her.

"What are you going to do about it?" She pressed, still sounding as though she were on the verge of shouting.

"Well, I don't really know. I'll date her until I figure a way out of it. I'm sure she'll sort out that I'm a snore soon enough and lose interest." Remus said with a sigh as he leaned back, idlely watching his friends fly about the pitch. "I'm sure she'll lose interest soon."

"I don't know." Lily said, glad for the excuse to turn her attention to the practice as well. "She seems pretty intense."

"Well I know she's only interested in me because she thinks that Sirius is making me like him on purpose just to upset her." He explained, his face turning a little more red than the cold air called for. "Its obvious that he's the only one she likes. She's just using me to get close to him. Or get even with him."

"Hm... Maybe." Lily agreed distractedly, wondering if Potter had always looked so cool in his quidditch uniform.

Remus may be slow at times, but it was impossible to miss the expression his red haired friend had on her face. He wondered if that was the look he got sometimes when he was watching Sirius, and if it _was_, he was shocked that no one else had caught on yet. Trying to keep himself from laughing he sighed contently.

"God damn, I love a hot man in a quidditch uniform." he said honestly, peeking a glance at Lily as he did so, who was still thoroughly distracted.

"I know, right?" Lily mumbled before she came to her senses.

It was impossible for Remus to curb his peals of laughter as, after a comical pause, lily's face turned fantastic shades of red and pink, her green eyes looking huge as she realized what she'd just let slip. Through Remus' laughter, Lily had tried desperately to defend herself, but eventually admitted that, _perhaps_, James Potter did have a few redeeming qualities, and confessed in her own words that "It's not my fault his tight ass in that quidditch uniform is one of them."

The distraction from the disaster with Debbie was a welcomed one. Reluctant to face his own problems, he pursued the conversation until Lily finally admitted that she had recently been rethinking her answer to James' repeated dating invitations. Unfortunately, after saying 'no' for so long, the idea of saying 'yes' hurt her pride a little too much. Remus had suspected as much, having noticed the little smiles Lily thought were private now and again. It was slightly frustrating to know that she could have James in a second if she simply stopped worrying so much about her pride. He envied the simplicity of her situation. This of course lead them back to discussion of Lily's plan, which had been on hiatus since the incident at the owlery. They decided that, while Remus continued to date Debbie in order to placate her, they would continue with their mission to woo Sirius.

"I have a few new ideas." Lily admitted with a disconcertingly mischievous smile. "But I was thinking I shouldn't tell you what they are."

"What?" Remus squeaked, feeling a little terrified at the idea of having no knowledge of what may befall him. "Why not?"

"Well, Sirius already thinks you're being bullied, right? I figured we could just roll with that. But for it to work, you'll have to be properly surprised when something happens. I mean, no offense, but you're really not very good at lying."

"Yeah, I know." Remus said, sighing defeatedly. "And I'm especially bad at lying to Sirius. Sometimes it feels like he can see right through me."

"It amazes me that he hasn't figured out the _big _secret yet." Lily admitted, receiving a snort from Remus.

"He's also talented at being completely dense." Remus said, looking down at his chilly fingers, pulling his coat sleeves down over his hands to warm them up. "It's infuriating that he can see so much and so little at the same time."

It was equally infuriating, Lily thought, that every time Remus looked away from where their friends were practicing, Sirius happened to glance in their direction. It was some sort of sick fate that kept them from noticing how much attention the other paid them. All Sirius noticed, however, was that every time he looked in his friend's direction, Remus was looking anywhere but at him. He was looking at Lily, or down at his feet, or even at the clouds. Was he really so uninteresting to watch? Would Remus really rather watch clouds than him. The more he noticed Remus not paying attention, the more attention he paid to the stands, not even realizing he was eliciting a reaction he hadn't intended. Lily and Remus were both startled by the sudden squealing a few rows behind them.

"Sirius just looked at me!" One of the girls in a gaggle of 5th years chirped excitedly.

"Are you crazy?" One of the other girls scoffed. "Its obvious he was looking at _me_."

"You wish!" The first girl retorted. "Yesterday he complimented my new earrings. He said they matched my eyes." The adoration was clear in her voice.

They both squabbled back and forth for a while, and Remus turned gloomily back in his seat, not wanting to have to listen to them go on about the man he was in love with. He would never tell Sirius, but he hated the way girls fawned over him. James had noticed once before and asked him if he was unhappy that they didn't show as much interest in him. He had even offered to help Remus find a girlfriend, to which Remus had, quite forcefully, said no. He'd thought he'd been nonchalant about it.

"Why don't either of you just ask him out?" A third girl asked, sounding like the more level-headed of the group. "You know I've never heard of him turning a girl down when she asks him out. Even if they only date a week or two, he never says 'no.'"

"But I want _him _to ask _me_ out." The first girl whined. "Its no fun if the girl has to ask the boy out!"

"I know!" The second girl said, finally agreeing on something with the first. "We're supposed to be swept off our feet!"

"I'd let him sweep me anywhere..." The first girl said, causing the others to giggle.

Remus suddenly stood up with a groan.

"I think I'm going to be sick if I stay here." He grumbled

Lily sympathized with him, and got up to leave as well. As they were leaving, Remus heard the girls squealing, giggling that Sirius was looking at them again, though none of them realized that his incredulous look was aimed at a certain brown-haired boy who was walking away.

* * *

><p>It was late in the same evening when Lily decided she had to do something she'd been avoiding. It was a bit drastic, but she was beginning to feel more and more that the feelings Remus had for Sirius were less one sided than she'd originally thought. Her choice was a risky one, but she was nearly certain it was the right one to make.<p>

The common room was busy, but relatively quiet, as the students were still sated from the party they'd had the previous night. Most were working on homework they'd put off until the last moment of the weekend. Remus had been drug to a corner by Debbie where they sat at a study table with Helena and Peter. Lily could tell, even from the distance, that Remus was beside himself with boredom. He had, of course, not put his work off to the last minute, and so was stuck tutoring the others, trying to read one of his novels between questions. Sirius was also being distracted by the girls from the quidditch pitch, and while he was smiling and being polite, and even a little flirtatious, Lily still caught him throwing glances in Remus' direction every so often. It had been those glances that helped to reinforce her decision and to point her feet toward James. He was sitting, reclined in one of the overstuffed couches, his feet propped up on the small table in front of it, a quidditch magazine laid open across his lap. She thought for a second that the firelight made his face look a bit more mature, the shadow making his jaw look a little stronger. Shaking the admiration from her thoughts she marched up to him.

"Hey, Potter." She said in a voice that was a little cold out of habit, her hand perching on her hip. "Finished with your homework?"

James looked shocked, clearly unprepared for her sudden and strangely willing approach. He glanced around for a second, as though to look for some hidden trap. Eventually he turned his attention tentatively back to her.

"Um... Yes?" He answered cautiously, wondering if it had been a trick question. "You... You know I've been in here the whole evening, right? I-I haven't done anything wrong today." He assured her, certain she was there to accuse him of some mischief.

Lily cleared her throat to keep from smiling. She hated herself for finding his reaction so cute.

"I'm not here to get you into trouble." she said, trying to sound irritated.

"You're not?" James was obviously surprised.

"No." She said as she took a seat beside him on the worn couch, having to move a pillow to make room. "I'm here to talk to you about Remus."

James looked faint for a moment as she willingly sat down beside him. he had imagined many times what he would do in a situation like the one he was being presented with, but at that moment, all he could do was take a deep breath and try not to panic.

"If its about the Debbie thing, you really shouldn't blame him. I mean, he was really upset about what she did to you." James said quickly.

"Relax. I'm not upset about anything." She said with a sigh, wondering if what she was doing was the right thing. "More specifically, I want to talk to you about Remus and Sirius."

James stared at her a moment, and Lily braced herself for a bad reaction. She knew that boys could get uncomfortable when it came to discussions of possible homosexuality, especially amongst their friends. It was Lily's turn to be shocked, though, as James suddenly began laughing.

"I wondered when someone else would notice." James said as he finally relaxed back into the couch. "They're ridiculous, aren't they?"

"Wait. You already know that Remus is in love with Sirius?" She asked, relieved, at least, that he had a generally accepting attitude about it.

"Well, I didn't know it quite extended to 'love,' but I've known they've had a thing for each other for... maybe a year?" James admitted. "I always thought it was just a crush, or maybe sexual tension."

"And you've never done anything about it?" Lily asked incredulously.

"Well, its not really any of my business." James explained with a shrug.

"But don't you want to help them get together?" Lily asked, "I mean, it sounds like they both like each other."

"Yeah, but there's one big problem." James said as he tossed his magazine onto the table his feet were on. "Padfoot's in complete denial."

It was clear by the tone in James' voice that he'd been dealing with that particular problem for some time, and was ready to wash his hands of it.

"Well then we need to find some way to get him _out _of denial so that we can get them together! Then you wont have to deal with it any more." Lily insisted, certain that she would need James' help if her plan was to come to fruition.

"We?" James asked hopefully, perking up from his slouch. "As in me and you working together? As in you working with me without a teacher forcing you to?"

"Yes, Potter." Lily said with a roll of her eyes. "Those two are going to drive me nuts if they don't get together soon."

James turned on the couch to face her, folding one leg under himself and propping and elbow on the backrest. Lily was shocked that she found it adorable the way he leaned his cheek against his fist.

"I like this idea." James said with the flirtatious smile that Lily had become very acquainted with. "What can I do to help?"

Lily was glad to finally have an accomplice that was not directly involved in the problem. She knew that Remus' judgment was often skewed by his feelings for Sirius and by his self consciousness. With James on her side she would be able to follow her plan without so many set backs. Making sure Sirius was still distracted, she divulged her plan.

"So you're the one who locked him in the owlery?" James commented, not seeming very surprised, or very impressed. "You realize he almost died, right?"

"I realize that." Lily said, irritated by his tone. "But I wasn't exactly planning to be assaulted that night. And I'll have you know that it came very close to working, but _someone, _who shall remain unnamed, interrupted them right before they were about to kiss!" She snapped.

"Is that what they were about to do?" James wondered, "I thought they seemed a little suspicious when I went in there."

Lily just grumbled a bit.

"Do you really think a plan like this is going to work, though?"

"Well we were unsure at first, just going on a hunch. But considering what happened in the bathroom after the owlery, we're feeling pretty confident." Lily said. "So here's what I need you to do..."

"That's strange." Peter said, looking up from his essay.

"What's that?" Remus asked, only half interested, not bothering to look up from his book.

"Prongs and Lily are sitting together."

Surprised, Remus turned in his seat to see that Peter was not hallucinating. Lily and James were sitting together on the couch, turned to face each other. Remus felt his stomach twist a little, wondering if they were talking about him. It was while he was turned around that he realized he wasn't the only one watching them. Across the room Sirius had just noticed the strange coupling and for a moment their eyes locked. Remus felt his heart start to speed up and felt a small tremor shake his rib cage. He could see the question in his friend's steely eyes. He knew Sirius was unhappy about the arrangement with Debbie, but for a second he almost fooled himself into thinking he saw jealousy there, and just before he could decide if he also saw wanting in his eyes he felt a sharp tug at his arm as Debbie forced him to face back to the table.

There was no mistaking what was being said in _her _eyes. They threatened him, reminding him that she had the ability to ruin his reputation. Fear washed over him, drowning the hot feeling he'd gotten while looking at Sirius, leaving him feeling cold and clammy instead. In his fantasies Sirius always accepted his feelings, and seeing as they were fantasies, there was always a rather dirty display of reciprocation, but even in those dreams Sirius always insisted to keep their relationship a secret. It seemed to suit him. Even if Remus could get the man he loved to return his feelings, he knew the black haired idol would avoid ruining his reputation. If the whole school found out about Remus' feelings he knew he would lose any chance he had. He hated himself for divulging such sensitive information to Debbie, but he hated her more for exploiting it.


	9. Chapter 9

** Hey everyone! **

**Sorry for the shorter chapter, but I'm feeling a bit stuck! But that might be a good thing! I want to hold a bit of a contest on here! You guys can help me come up with ideas to use in my story! For details see the A/N at the bottom!**

*****WARNINGS*****

**None to really speak of.**

* * *

><p>After seeing Lily and James doing what could only be described as "plotting," Remus realized he was feeling a bit of apprehension for the coming week. He was already feeling unsettled by the idea of Lily's mini-plots coming at him when he least suspected it, but now there was the added mystery of James' possible involvement. He had a feeling the following week may be a trying one, and he was right to feel that way.<p>

**-MONDAY-**

Remus was relieved as he packed his things away. Their astronomy class had just ended, meaning Remus had made it through the last class of the day without mishap. He'd managed to dodge Debbie at lunch, and ate instead with James and Sirius, while Peter had tottered off to eat with Helena. He'd passed Debbie in the hall, but they shared no classes. Sirius had seemed irritable that morning, but was significantly happier now, most likely due to Debbie's absence at lunch.

"We need to go find James after dropping our things off." Sirius said with a grin where he was packing his things beside Remus.

"He's probably following Lily around." Remus said with a chuckle, happy for the light atmosphere. "She should have known better than to throw him a bone last night. After chatting him up like that he's going to be even more persistent."

"You _have _to tell me what's going on with her after you get her to spill it. She must have been up to something to talk to him like that." Sirius said as he slung his bag over one shoulder. "Who knows, maybe she's finally come around. She might finally see all of James' good qualities."

"What good qualities?" Remus joked as he and Sirius made their way out of the class.

"Well he's got something going for him if he's finally gotten Lily to chat with him. Hey, look." Sirius chirped happily.

They both stopped on one of the landings located along the spiraling stairs that lead them back down the tower. On each landing there was an opening in the wall which, being in such an old castle, had never been turned into real windows, and now only functioned to let the freezing air in. Remus pulled his coat more tightly around himself and approached the railing that protected them from the fall, wanting to see what Sirius was pointing at. They could see Peter and Helena making their way toward the tower. The regular astrology class ran just after the advanced version that Remus and Sirius had finished.

"I still cant believe he's found himself a girl willing to seriously date him." Sirius said with a chuckle.

"I'm surprised to, but good for him." Remus said as he leaned forward, resting his elbows on the decoratively carved stone railing. "That and we don't have to listen to him go on about wanting a girl any more."

Remus regretted his comment, as it seemed to change the mood suddenly and drastically.

"Are you relieved _you _finally have a girl?" Sirius asked, venom only barely covered in his voice.

"I really don't want to talk about this right now, Padfoot." Remus said with a sigh.

"What's with this attitude, also?" Sirius asked, shifting his weight to one leg in an agitated manner. "You never want to talk about anything with me any more. I bet you talk about it with Lily though."

"Look, Sirius..." Remus began, avoiding his nickname in an attempt to convey seriousness . "Pressing me for this isn't going to help. And you're attitude has made me not want to talk about it even more. You're being ridiculo-uh!"

Before Remus could finish his sentence, he felt the railing under his elbows vanish, and as he felt the air freeze in his chest, he lurched through the opening. As he fell forward he felt his feet slip out behind him and realized that not only would he fall the five or six stories that were left of the tower, he would be doing it head first. He thought he heard someone scream, but swore it couldn't have been himself since he wasn't even able to breath at that moment.

Sirius had thought he'd lost his mind as he watched the railing under Remus' elbows disappear. He wished that Remus had screamed, as it may have jarred him from his initial shock earlier, but instead he watched his friend fall forward, the only sound coming from him being a small strangled noise akin to a whimper. As things around him seemed to slow down Sirius heard the students who were making their way up and down the tower scream, though they seemed strangely muffled as his full attention was on the fabric he tangled up in his fists as he grabbed for Remus' robes. With the commotion around him settling, Sirius realized that he had succeeded in catching Remus, who was hanging head first off the edge of the landing. If Sirius had not been so focused on hauling Remus' shaking body back onto the solid stone of the landing, he would have been disgusted by the lack of assistance he received from the on-lookers. They had formed a semicircle around the two of them, merely watching with horrified faces and heated whispers.

Remus scrambled away from the edge as he was pulled back onto the landing, too shocked to realize he was pushing himself right into Sirius' lap. He wanted to be as far away from the edge of that stone as he could and was sure if he held onto Sirius as tightly as he could it would keep him safe. Sirius felt his face heat up as Remus slid onto his lap, his arms wrapped tight around his neck as he stared at the edge, as though it would jump at him. He could feel his whole body shaking, but was certain his own was trembling as well, and they were both panting slightly. Sirius hadn't even realized he'd slid his arms around Remus' surprisingly narrow, but firm, waist until Remus turned huge golden eyes at him. His pupils were constricted to tiny black dots amidst the wet amber. They stared at each other a second before slightly manic grins pulled at their mouths. The shock and relief suddenly washed over them and they were both laughing. It was likely the laughter that got the crowd clapping, though neither of them seemed to notice it until they heard a familiar, shrill voice.

"Remy!" Debbie's voice cut through the crowd, and before Remus or Sirius could move from where they were holding onto each other, she pushed her way onto the landing and threw herself at Remus.

Sirius was in shock for a second as Debbie and Remus both slid off his lap and he was furious when he realized that Debbie was kissing his friend rather insistently. The rest of the day went down hill from there. Remus was drug rather forcefully away as Debbie shouted at Sirius, accusing him of doing something to cause the fall. Angry and insulted, Sirius stormed back to their dorm room and didn't see Remus again until late that night when he feigned sleep to avoid having to talk to him.

**-TUESDAY-**

He knew it was immature of him, but after the incident with Remus the previous day, Sirius purposefully fled the dorm while Remus was in the shower, feeling too frustrated to face him. What annoyed him further was that he wasn't fully sure what it was exactly he was angry about. It was angry that he never got a proper 'thank you' for saving Remus' life. He was angry that Debbie had accused him of causing the accident. He was angry that he had no idea who _had _caused the accident, which clearly was _not _an accident at all. But then he would think about how angry he was that Debbie kissed his Remus. And it was the "his" in that thought that added terror to the anger. He'd always been vaguely aware of the protectiveness he felt toward Remus, but he was only just realizing that it was more than protectiveness, it was possessiveness. He wanted to own Remus. He wanted to lock him away from every one else. Debbie had no right to date him or kiss him. And then he thought he should be the only one allowed to kiss Remus, and that's when he'd fled.

He'd gone through his day purposefully avoiding Remus, even going so far as to skip the classes they shared. It wasn't too out of the ordinary for him to skip classes now and again, but he'd never done so to avoid anyone. Now he was pacing the dorm feeling shocked with himself, wondering when he'd started developing such strange feelings for his friend. He was also scared that it was so late in the day and Remus hadn't returned to their room.

"Seriously, Padfoot. You've gotta stop pacing. You're driving me nuts." James said from where he was laying on his bed, propped up on his elbows and flipping through a magazine.

"He should've been back by now." Sirius said, ignoring his request and turning on the balls of his feet again. "What if something's happened again? Like with the owlery?"

"If you're so worried about him, why'd you spend all day avoiding him?" James asked, not bothering to look up from his reading.

"I wasn't avoiding him." Sirius lied, but began wringing his hands. "I should go look for him."

"The map's in my trunk." James said as he turned another page, not seeming very interested, but keen to get Sirius out of the room.

After a bit of digging, Sirius was able to find the map and after scanning it for a few moments he located Remus' name. Sirius hurried through the castle, hoping to find Remus before curfew. He was surprised to see Remus' name in such an empty hallway. Sirius knew that this particular hallway, located high up in the castle, was not used often. He was relieved, however, to see that Debbie's name was not near his on the map, as he himself had used cupboards in that very same hallway in the past for dirty little rendezvous with his girlfriend of the week.

As he neared the his friends name on the map he realized the corridor was still empty, and before long the map showed their names hovering directly beside each other, but there was still no sign of his Moony.

"Moony?" Sirius called uncertainly, feeling like he was talking to himself.

There was a pause, then Sirius heard a muffled voice coming from the suit of armor stationed in that particular hallway.

"Hey Padfoot..." Remus said as he caught sight of his friend through the visor of the armor helmet.

"Moony?" Sirius asked again, walking over to the armor and looking in through the small slit of the visor.

Sirius was having a hard time keeping the smile from his face. For whatever reason, he found this situation to be strangely hilarious.

"What are you doing in there?" He asked, chuckling slightly.

"Having tea. What do you think I'm doing in here?" Remus snapped, obviously irritated. "I'm stuck. Just get me out."

"How do you get stuck inside a suit of armor?" Sirius continued, ignoring his request to be let out.

"What does it matter?" Remus said, obviously trying to keep his temper in check.

"Well I dunno," Sirius said, his frustration causing him to tease the other more a bit more than he'd meant to. "You've been keeping secrets from me for a while now. This might be the perfect opportunity for me to get you to spill."

"What!"

Sirius could hear rattling and banging coming from inside the armor and was sure Remus was struggling out of frustration. He knew it was an underhanded trick, but he was tired of Remus avoiding all of his questions, and now that he was trapped where he couldn't escape, and couldn't raise his wand to him, he figure it was the perfect time to push for information.

"Answer a few of my questions and I'll let you out." He said as he watched Remus's eyes flutter uncertainly through the visor.

"Fine." Remus said after a moment of hesitation.

"The 'accidents' you've been having recently, are they being caused by the same person who locked you in the tower?" Sirius asked, hoping that asking roundabout questions will help Remus be more comfortable with telling the truth.

"Probably..." Remus said.

He was unsure if James was involved now, but he knew that these were most likely caused by Lily, who had been suspiciously avoiding him the past few days to keep him from catching on to her next plan.

"Whoever's doing this, are they targeting you on purpose?" Sirius asked, his forehead almost resting on the helmet now, their eyes so close to each other that even through the dim light they could make out tiny flecks of colors which helped to add depth to their irises.

There was a much longer pause this time as Remus' eyes finally left his friend's. It was obvious that he was uncomfortable with divulging this information, but after a moment Sirius heard a mumbled 'yes.'

* * *

><p>A few minutes after Sirius left the room, James put his magazine down and strolled down to the common room. As he entered he caught sight of Lily across the room who gave him a discrete but firm nod. Scanning the room he saw Debbie sitting with her friend Helena where they were doing schoolwork. Putting on a casual expression he walked over to their table, his hands resting comfortably in his pockets.<p>

"What do _you _want?" Debbie snapped when she saw who it was.

"Woah, easy there, tiger." He said with a smile. "I'm not here to cause trouble. Remus wants me to give you a message."

"He does?" Debbie asked, obviously uncertain if this was good news or bad news. "You know that corridor up on the fourth floor that everyone's goes to to make out?" James asked, putting a suggestive smile on his face now.

"Yeah!" Debbie was already getting excited.

"He wants you to meet him there." James concluded, even adding a wink for good measure.

"Really!" Debbie shrieked as she jumped up from her table. "Bye!"

Helena eyed him suspiciously, but James knew that she would never figure out what was really going on. Even if she tried to pump Peter for information, he and Lily had kept all of their plans tightly under wraps. They had also decided to up the ante, figuring a bit of jealousy on Sirius' part might fuel him a bit.

* * *

><p>"I've answered your questions, Padfoot. Now let me out." Remus said, trying to sound stern, though he couldn't hid the small tremor of unease in his voice. He didn't want to answer any more of his friend's questions.<p>

"One more question and I'll let you out." Sirius said, bringing a hand to rest on the chest of the armor, pretending for a second that he could feel Remus' nervous heartbeat even through that. "All the things that've been happening to you. Is it related to me at all?"

There was another long pause and Sirius could hear Remus' breath pick up inside the armor.

"Yeah." Remus finally said quietly.

"How so?" Sirius asked more sternly this time, wanting to get to the root of the problem, hating the idea of being responsible for the things that have been happening to his friend.

"You said it would only be one more question!" Remus said, suddenly loud, though even in the dark of the armor Sirius thought he saw his friend's face turning red.

"It's still part of the last question!" Sirius argued back.

There was another pause, but this time Remus was struggling to get out.

"Just answer me and I'll let you out!" Sirius insisted, not realizing they weren't alone any more, as Debbie had just turned the corner at the end of the corridor.

"It has to do with our... friendship." Remus said, changing the word 'relationship' to 'friendship' at the last moment.

Sirius paused a moment to gather his thoughts, but just as he was opening his mouth to say something he felt himself knocked off his feet as he heard a shout of "Stupefy!" from a few yards to his left. He also thought he heard Remus' shouting his name, but was unconscious before he could figure out if he'd imagine it. He was not out long, and by the time he came around he saw that Debbie was dismantling the armor Remus was in. He did not move, however, as he caught their conversation.

"What the hell is wrong with you!" Remus shouted as he yanked an arm out of the armor.

"He was holding you prisoner! I was helping you!" Debbie snapped back.

"He's not the one that put me in there!"

"But he _was _refusing to let you out!"

"I don't care!" Remus shouted. "I want you to leave! You've done enough damage!"

"You listen to me..." Debbie said, her voice quieter now, as though she were talking through her teeth. "I'm getting really sick of your attitude. You need to stop being so god damned palsy with him or I'm going to let slip your little secret. Have you forgotten about that one?"

There was a pause, and then Sirius heard Remus answer back, also sounding like his teeth were clenched.

"No. I haven't forgotten." He said coldly, and a little defiantly.

"Good. Now come on."

Sirius lay there on the stone floor for a while, unsure of his own feelings. He was a bit angry that Remus left him there, but was more furious knowing that Debbie was obviously black mailing his friend. Add to that mix some frustration that Debbie knew something about his Moony that he didn't and the 'his' that kept popping up, and he was an emotional mess of confusion. He decided to wait it out for a while until his joints stopped hurting, then he trudged back to his dorm.

"Any luck finding Moony?" James asked, his innocence act was flawless.

* * *

><p><strong> Alright everyone! Lets get into the contest idea I had. As you can see, I have split sections of this story into days. I want to continue doing that for the rest of their week, but I'm having a hard time coming up with cute ideas! So here's what I need from you: <strong>

**Leave a review and include some cute/dangerous situation that you want to see Sirius save Remus from. It can be a funny situation like being stuck in the armor, or a serious one where he's really in danger. I need 2 or three more ideas. Whoever comes up with the ideas I like the most wins! I'll use those ideas in my story and I will of course credit you in the author's notes and will add links to your writing page!**

**I cant wait to see what to see what ideas you all come up with! **


	10. Chapter 10

**Hey everyone!  
>Sorry for the long wait for this update. I had lost the cord to my lap top and so the chapter was trapped on their until I found it again! *Laughs*<strong>

**I really appreciate all of the great suggestions I received! There were so many great ones that I'm going to have to cram more than one of them into each of the days! I'll post a list later with shoutouts to all of the people whose ideas I ended up using, but for now I just wanted to get this up so that you don't have to wait any more.**

**No real warnings to worry about! Hope you enjoy!  
><strong>

* * *

><p>"Blackmailed?" James asked, feigning ignorance perfectly as he watched Sirius pacing again, something he was doing an awful lot of lately.<p>

"Yes! I heard them talking about it when they thought I was knocked out!" Sirius roared. "Why hasn't that stupid tosser told me about this!"

"Well maybe its something he doesn't want you to know about." James suggested coolly.

"Don't be ridiculous. He tells me everything!" Sirius insisted.

"Well I think he's already proven you wrong there. It's obvious that he's keeping something from you." James said, trying to sound only half interested in what he was saying.

The fact that Remus was purposefully keeping secrets from him seemed to hit him hard and he felt himself grow suddenly tired. Sitting heavily on the side of his bed he sighed, knowing that James was right. He didn't want to believe that Remus would keep things from him, but it was clear that secrets were precisely what he was keeping.

"Look, Padfoot." James said with a sigh. "If you really don't want Remus to keep secrets from you, then just remind him that he can tell you anything. Remember how scared he was to tell us about his monthly problem? Just remind him that nothing he has to say can be a bigger shock than that."

"I've tried to get him to tell me though!" Sirius said, barely containing his frustration as his arms lashed around animatedly.

"No you haven't." James' voice was stern, but his face was still calm. "You've been trying to _force_ him to tell you something he obviously doesn't want to tell you. Try reminding him that he _can _tell you... without the forcing."

There was a pause of silence.

"Since when are you so good at this sort of advice?" Sirius asked, seeming a little surprised by his friend's serious attitude and lack of jokes.

"Well there _is _a reason I'm Head Boy, you know." His bespectacled friend answered with a wink.

Before Sirius could do anything more than snort at him, their door opened and Remus came in, looking emotionally worn out.

"Hey." He said awkwardly as he made his way over to his bed. "Sorry I left you there like that, Pads." he said as he shrugged his robes off. "But honestly, its what you get for leaving me in that armor like that."

"Its fine." Sirius said, his voice stiffer than he'd meant it to be. "Have a good time with your girlfriend?"

Neither James nor Remus could miss the venom in the dreaded 'G' word and they both looked at him. Remus looked vaguely insulted, or possibly hurt, James, however was looking at him like he was and idiot.

"Yeah, as a matter of fact, I did." Remus lied, angry with Sirius' attitude.

"Great. Guess I'll just stay out of your way then." Sirius said, getting up and ripping his own robes off.

"With an attitude like that, I'm glad." Remus shot back and a moment later they were both yanking their bed curtains shut.

James removed his glasses and rubbed between his eyes. He finally understood what Lily had meant by needing to give them a shove in the right direction. It had never occurred to him that two smart people could be so incredibly dumb.

-WEDNESDAY-

The following morning was an awkward one and it was obvious that James was at the end of his rope by the time he'd finished herding his two arguing friends down to breakfast. They both made a point to sit as far away from each other as they could, though, refusing to speak directly to one another.

"They're gonna drive me nuts." Lily whispered to James who was sitting beside her.

"You're telling me? I have to spend nights with them too." James said as he scooped more eggs onto his plate.

"Well I have a plan. As soon as I get up to leave, follow me and don't go back for anything, okay?"

After a surprisingly quiet breakfast they all stood and began gathering their things, the chimes telling them class would be starting soon. Lily managed to cleverly delay them until most of the students were already out of the great hall, and nobody heard her mumble the quiet incantation as they started toward the door.

With one strap of his bag held firmly over his shoulder, Remus made to walk after them, but felt his legs suddenly give out under his weigh. In a fashion lacking any sort of grace he began to crumple, knocking a few plates to the floor as he tried to catch himself. He knew right away this was Lily's doing, as she didn't even pause to look back at the ruckus he was causing.

"Moony!" As though he'd suddenly forgotten their argument, Sirius lunged to catch Remus by his arm.

Their bags tumbled to the floor, forgotten as Sirius wrapped his arms tight around his friend's midsection.

"What happened? Are you alright?" Sirius asked in a borderline panic, obviously still on edge underneath the mask of irritation he'd be wearing.

Remus was ashamed of himself as his face began to heat up. No matter how angry he'd been at his dark haired friend, as he felt Sirius' arms wrap around his body and felt the flexing in his shoulders where he was holding on, all he could do was hopelessly adore him. He knew he was too far gone to hold any real sort of grudge against his secret crush. He was irretrievably lost in his love for Sirius, and he knew he would forgive him anything. Debbie insisted that Sirius had been the one to lock him away in the suit of armor, and while Remus knew for a fact it had _not _been him, the naked truth was that it didn't matter. Even if he had been the guilty party, even if Sirius had forced him in just to hurt him, Remus would have simply gone on desiring him.

"I'm fine." he said after suppressing the urge to confess all of his feelings on the spot. "But I think I've been jinxed. My legs wont stop shaking, they wont hold any weight..."

"Dammit." Sirius swore as he looked around the now empty feast hall. "And those two twats didn't even wait for us."

Keeping his arms wrapped tightly about his waist, Sirius moved Remus to sit on the nearest bench where they both seemed a little reluctant to let the other go.

"Did you see who did it?" Sirius asked as he laid a hand on his thigh.

Remus had to remind himself that he was only checking the state of his legs, unable to help the sudden thumping pulse he felt all through his body, particularly in the most inappropriate places. He fought the urge to wrap his arms around Sirius' neck where he was slightly leaned over him, imagining himself pulling his dark friend down as that hand slid up to touch him in the one place that seemed to be thumping the hardest. He was suddenly glad that he had no control over his legs, as they may have spread out of reflex.

"No, I didn't see anyone." He said, trying to shake himself back to reality.

"Alright." Sirius said with a heavy sigh. "I don't know how to reverse this, so we'd better get you to Pomfery."

"Might be a bit hard with my legs like this." Remus said with a chuckle, though it was forced, mostly to hide his embarrassment of his own fantasies.

"Well then I'll just carry you there." Sirius said as he scooped an arm under his legs and began lifting him off the bench.

"What!" Remus felt his face flame with embarrassment.

It was hard for Remus to reconcile the mixed feelings of excitement and utter mortification that he felt as Sirius lifted him up like a princess. He was thrilled beyond belief as he felt Sirius' strong arms cradling him, but at the same time he felt a surge of discomfort. He knew the whole point of Lily's plan was for him to emulate feminine attributes that Sirius seemed drawn to, and he could even recall moments when he'd seen Sirius playfully carrying girls around in a similar fashion, but he felt that he'd gone too far. He felt foolish and emasculated. He felt like he was lying, trying too hard to be something he wasnt. He decided that, no matter how close he wanted to be to Sirius, this was where he'd draw the line.

"Don't you _dare _carry me around like some woman! Put me down!" He said as he pushed on Sirius' face in an attempt to put distance between them.

"Dammit, Moony, would you just hold still! I'm trying to help you!" Sirius argued back, stumbling around as he tried to keep a grip on his friend.

"You can! Just-just dont carry me like this! It's embarrassing!" Remus said, hating that the blush on his cheeks was so obvious.

After a few more moments of struggling, Sirius finally got Remus to calm down enough to transfer him to his back. Remus wasn't sure if this was actually better or worse. Riding on his back he wasn't being treated like a princess, but it did leave his chest pressed very firmly up against Sirius' toned back. He chose to ignore entirely the fact that his legs were spread around the curve near Sirius' hips, leaving his still excitable bits pressed against him. It was an intense act of will power that kept his body from reacting, knowing that jabbing his friend in the back wtih a raging hard on would be difficult to explain. He was relieved, though to find the corridors mostly empty, as classes had begun by the time they were done tousling with each other.

Neither of them were sure if the following minutes of walking left them feeling frustrated or contented. After a long stretch of silence, Remus was the first one to speak.

"I'm sorry for the way I've been acting. I didn't mean to shout at you last night." He said, embarrassed that he was able to speak so quietly since his mouth was so near the rim of his crush's ear.

"Don't worry about it, Moons." Sirius said, the sigh of relief evident in his voice. "I wasn't being very easy to deal with either."

"No, not really." Remus said with a chuckle, finally relaxing against Sirius' back in a way that reminded him that, even though he had to resist jumping him in a sexual frenzy every time they were together, they'd still been friends for nearly seven years.

"You know," Sirius began, "I've always liked your diligence and pride and all that..."

Remus felt his heart begin to race a the compliment.

"But there does come a point when asking for help isnt a bad thing. It doesn't make you weak, you know?" He said, trying to sound casual.

Remus wasn't sure what he should say at that point. They'd had this conversation and he didn't know how else to tell him that he didn't want to talk about it. It seemed like it was becoming harder and harder to _not _confess, but the fear of rejection, and the fear of losing his friendship just made it too difficult. He felt Sirius sigh, but instead of getting angry he continued, his voice seeming gentler this time.

"Can I at least ask a few more questions? You can just nod or something. You don't have to answer me out loud if you dont want to."

Remus hesitated, but nodded after a moment, his chin resting on Sirius' shoulder now.

"Debbie's blackmailing you to make you go out with her, isn't she?" He asked, knowing the answer even before he felt the nod, having felt Remus' whole body tighten against his back. "Does it have to do with me breaking up with her?"

Sirius felt a rush of guilt as he felt Remus nod against his shoulder again. He'd known that it had been a rough break up for Debbie, but he'd never expected her to target his friend just to get back at him. He also felt guilty because she would not have met Remus had he not asked him to take his place at the double date. He decided to not bother asking Remus what secret she was using against him since he had the distinct impression that he wouldn't tell him anyway.

"You know I'll always be here to help you out, right?" Sirius said, remembering James' advise, hoping to remind him how trustworthy he could be. "What I mean is, whatever secret she knows about you, I'm sure it wouldn't hurt to tell me and James. I mean, what secret could be more shocking than your furry little problem? Unless, of course, your secret is that you're actually a vampire-goblin-_centaur_-werewolf. That might be a little shocking, and I might be curious about which parts of you are the centaur parts."

Remus didn't answer him, but Sirius could feel and hear him laughing, which made him just as happy as an answer might have. He spent the rest of the walk trying to make up the most ridiculous combinations of magical creatures, though eventually they descended into complete nonsense and Remus had to spend the last few minutes of the walk trying to convince Sirius that he wasnt part alarm clock.

"You know you've never told us about your grandparents. What if they're alarm clocks? If your grandfather was an alarm clock, that would make you quarter alarm clock. And you _do_ wake me up in the mornings a lo-mph" Sirius was silenced as Remus closed a hand over his mouth.

"You're killing me, Pads." Remus said with a roll of his eyes, though he was still smiling. "I know I can trust you and James with anything... And I'll think about telling you sometime. Just please, I can't take your nonsensical logic any more. You're killing my brain cells."

Sirius chuckled through his nose since his mouth was still covered, and he felt a flip in his stomach at the idea of learning his secrets, but it was the feel and smell of h is friend's soft hand on his face that had his heart beating so fast. After regrettably dropping Remus off at the hospital wing, Sirius went on with his classes as normal, feeling as though his back was uncharacteristically cold.

* * *

><p>"I'm surprised none of us saw him get jinxed." James said from where he was sitting under their favorite tree at the side of the lake.<p>

It was still cold, but the sun was out, the wind was gentle, and many of the students were soaking in the soon-to-be spring weather.

"Well maybe we _would_ have if you hadn't run off with your new girlfriend." Sirius complained, realizing that even now, James' gaze was turned to Lily who was standing by the waterside with a handful of other students.

It was the first day that anyone had seen the Giant Squid since the beginning of winter. His return was always an exciting event, as it seemed to mark the turning point toward warm weather. It had become customary for the students to bring snacks to their cephalopodic friend on the day of his return. Lily was currently feeding the squid a peanut butter sandwich.

"I've already told you, Pads. If I have to choose between hanging out with you lot, or hanging out with her, its definitely going to be her." He said, a goofy, lovesick grin on his face.

Sirius just made a face and sat down next to him. He hadn't seen Remus in any of their classes that day, as the Jelly-Legs Jinx seemed to be the type whose symptoms had to be left to clear on their own. Sirius was starting to wonder if he should confront Debbie himself, or if he should report what was happening to a teacher. He didn't figure Remus would appreciate a teacher being brought into it, as it was clearly involving something he wanted to keep private. Just as he was about to pull his hair out he heard Remus' surprisingly cheery voice.

"It's about time it warmed up out here." He said as he made his way down the gentle slope of land to where they were sitting.

Spring was Remus' favorite season, and they always looked forward to it, as it marked the end of his moody attitude that was always brought on by the cold weather.

"Moony!" Sirius chirped happily, nearly launching himself at his friend.

"How're you legs?" James asked, not moving from where he was leaned against the rough bark of the tree.

"Fine now. A little wobbly maybe, but functional. Oh!" He looked excited as he opened the bag at his hip and began to pull out handfuls of Fizzing Whizzbees. "I heard the Squid was out. I thought if we fed him enough of these we might get him floating above the water!"

Sirius felt a thrill of excitement, beside himself to see his favorite part of Remus again. He'd felt recently that this childlike, mischievous side of Remus' personality had been missing. He wasn't sure what had been causing it, and while he was certain Debbie's blackmailing scheme was not helping the situation, he'd noticed it before Remus had even met her. He wondered briefly if it had anything to do with the secret Debbie was now holding over his head. While all these thoughts flitted through his mind, however, they were quickly overpowered by the intense feeling of excitement, and in a split second Sirius was on his feet, helping Remus unload the candies from his bag.

"You're brilliant!" Sirius shouted, not bothering to ask where, or how, he'd acquired so many of the sweets.

"Remus!" Lily had made her way from the shoreline, hugging Remus when she reached him. "I'm so glad you're alright."

"Yeah, I bet you are." He whispered to her, giving her a smile as she pulled away that said the reward had been worth the jelly legs. "Is there a wet spot on my back?" He suddenly asked, reaching over his shoulder.

"Oh, sorry. My hands are wet from the squid." Lily said, wiping them off on her skirt.

"Do you want to help us feed these Fizzing Wizzbees to the squid?" He asked, not caring much that he got a bit of lake water on his jumper.

"Nah, I think I've had my fill. One of the suckers left a hickey on my leg when he was going for some food I dropped." She said, making a face that even got Sirius laughing.

"Well lets hurry up before it gets too full and swims off!" Sirius said, dragging Remus down toward the water.

Lily stood back with James, watching their two friends make their way toward the squid. When they were far enough away Lily produced a small, empty phial and handed it back to James.

"So you're sure that stuff was safe to put on him?" She asked, still watching Remus.

"It was just some squid pheromones." James replied. "I think they may have been slightly tampered with, but I'm sure it's perfectly safe."

"How'd you even get hold of that?" The redhead asked as she finally turned to realize James had been watching her the whole time.

"Trade secret, darling." He said with a wink.

Lily had to scoff to hide the smile she felt tugging at her lips, though even that couldn't hide the giddy feeling she felt jolt through her.


	11. Chapter 11

**Hey everyone!  
><strong>

**I'm really sorry for the ridiculously long wait for this chapter. Unfortunately things have been a bit hectic for me, so I have had to put all of my writing on the back burner. I feel like its going to take me some time to get back into the swing of things, so I apologize if this chapter is a bit weak. Hopefully things will be back up to par soon. **

**Warnings: Some nudity and suggestive scenes, but nothing serious.**

* * *

><p>As Remus began to come around the first thing he noticed was the cold that ached in all of his bones. He felt himself begin to shiver and wondered what he'd been doing up until that moment, but was sure that shivering was an improvement. He felt a bruising pain in his chest, as though someone had been hammering on it, and just as he started to register his surroundings he felt a set of hot lips close around his and surprisingly sweet air force its way into his lungs. It was at that moment that he realized he'd not been breathing. As the shock of the foreign breath pushed into his lungs he felt himself begin to convulse, his body trying desperately to force the water from the delicate tissues of his respiratory system.<p>

"Oh thank Merlin, he's breathing!" Lily gasped from where she stood over her two friends.

"That's it, Moony. Out with the bad air..." Sirius said, short of breath himself, as he pulled his friend into a sitting position so he could lean forward to cough the water from his lungs. "And in with the good air."

Remus was blinking rapidly as he tried to clear his head and his chest all at once, his body shaking with his uncontrollable coughing. He could hardly recall what had happened. He remembered feeding the squid with Sirius, but things became vague and then absent after that. Managing to get his eyes open as his coughing fit began to subside he was able to take inventory of himself, and realized that he was not in good shape. He felt his face begin to heat up, a small hot dot on his freezing body, as he realized most of his clothing was in shreds and draping off his frame.

"Oi! What are you lot staring at!" James was shouting from where he stood between his two friends and the crowding group of students. "Go find something else to gawk at!"

Remus felt embarrassment surge through him as he realized the crowd was likely staring at the scars that littered his body, caused by his monthly transformation. He had become rather comfortable with his fellow marauders seeing them, and had even shown Lily the previous year after she'd sorted out his condition on her own, but he was still very self conscious when it came to strangers or acquaintances knowing about them. He felt his arms snake around his own body in an attempt to shield himself from their stares.

"He said beat it!" Sirius snarled at the group as he began to pull his sopping wet jumper off, only to pull it down over Remus' head.

The group of whispering students seemed intimidated by the joint efforts of Sirius and James and began to disperse, though they continued to throw glances at them as they made their way up the hill. Remus was shaking as Sirius helped to dress him, knowing he'd be more comfortable if he were covered.

"W-w-w-what hap-p-pened?" Remus asked, his voice scratchy from coughing and his teeth chattering from the cold.

"The squid seemed to take a shining to you." James said more gently as he crouched down beside his two friends. "Got a bit feely then dragged you into the lake."

"G-got a bit f-f-feely?" Remus asked, his eyes a bit large. "D-did th-that bast-t-t-ard try to mo-mo-molest me?"

James couldn't help but chuckle at the look on his friend's face.

"Shut it, Prongs. This isn't funny." Sirius said. "Come on, Moony. I'll take you back to the dorm so you can warm up."

They worked for a moment to try and get Remus on his feet, but after struggling to walk a few yards, one of his legs seeming sprained from his battle with the flirty cephalopod, Sirius wound up carrying him, and this time Remus was too exhausted to fight his way onto his friend's back. Considering his exhaustion and inability to fight the emasculating carrying style, Remus was at least relieved to see that the halls were mostly empty, realizing quickly that Sirius had been taking the long way to avoid being seen by too many people. Remus felt his chest warm at the realization that Sirius was being so thoughtful. As Sirius made his way into the private dorm room he felt a surge of disappointment, hating that he no longer had an excuse to be so close to him.

"Think you can stand up?" Sirius asked as he walked through the door to the bathroom.

Remus nodded and suppressed a wince of pain as his sprained foot began to bear weight. He was glad that Sirius hadn't let go of him as his head began to spin. To add to his over all poor condition he felt something agitate the sensitive tissue of his throat and had to cover his mouth to suppress the coughing brought on by the painful burning. Keeping his chest braced with one arm, Sirius began patting the other boy's back, hoping to get any residual water out of his system.

"Come on. Lets get this wet stuff off." Sirius said gently as the coughing finally subsided.

It was strange to find himself in this situation again. When he'd rescued Remus from the owlery he'd felt a bit uneasy about the process of warming him up. He had seen Remus sans his clothes many times, but there was something strangely intimate about undressing the other boy, and he found himself feeling surprisingly nervous. This time, however, he was feeling a strange thrill of excitement as he peeled the wet knit from his narrow frame. Remus was still shivering and Sirius found his eyes strangely drawn to the small rosy points he could see through his white uniform shirt. As he parted the buttons gently, removing the veil of thin fabric he found himself wondering if he'd ever seen nipples that were quite so pink. He didn't realize he'd paused, or that he was staring rather blatantly until he felt Remus' hands cover his where he was still holding onto the shirt buttons. Startled he raised his gaze to meet his friend's wolfishly yellow eyes and he felt his heart leap up into his throat. He wondered if his friend had always looked so feral.

"You don't have to help me with this if you're uncomfortable." Remus said, his voice still shaking, though his shiver-induced stuttering had subsided.

Sirius wondered suddenly if he was uncomfortable. He hadn't thought about the possibility. His heart was, in fact, racing noticeably, and his fingers were shaking slightly, even though his body temperature was surprisingly high considering his recent dip in the black lake.

"I'm not uncomfortable." Sirius finally insisted after a moment of hesitation, and he was suddenly certain that he was telling the truth.

He felt strangely nervous, but he didn't feel uncomfortable. With his mind a little clearer, he went back to undressing his friend, letting him hold onto his shoulder while he helped him out of the shredded remains of his trousers and shorts. He wondered when bathing together had become so tense for them. In the first few years of their friendship it hadn't been uncommon for the four marauders to shower nearly on top of each other, particularly on those mornings that followed a late night of mischief making. It was never and issue for them, though, and they often joked openly about each other's nudity. But now there was a visceral tension that made the situation complicated.

"Funny how we keep ending up like this, huh?" Sirius asked with a chuckle, desperately hoping to break the tension that had grown between them as they both stood naked under the hot spray of water.

"I guess I've just had poor luck here lately." Remus said, purposefully keeping his eyes trained away from Sirius' toned body, knowing he'd not be able to hide any reactions given their state of undress.

"If that's what you want to call it." Sirius said with a laugh, using his smile to ease the atmosphere, something he's always been talented at.

They bathed in silence for a while, though Sirius made sure to keep a hand on Remus to steady him the whole time. As Sirius brushed the wet hair from Remus' face for him, the lycanthrope realized just how gentle the other boy's eyes were at that moment. He felt his heart begin to race again and wasn't sure if he felt the urge to smile or to cry.

"Sirius?" Remus hadn't meant for his voice to come out so quietly, the intimacy of whispering seeming almost inappropriate.

"Hm?" Sirius continued to smooth the hair away from his friend's face, realizing somewhere deep down that he was doing it for himself now and not for Remus.

"Did you really jump into the lake to save me?" He asked, wiping the water from his eyes.

"Nah, I just felt like going for a swim." the black haired teen joked, leaving Remus feeling suddenly foolish.

Just as Remus thought to push his joking friend aside, however, he felt slightly roughened fingers touch his cheeks, drawing his attention back up to the dark grey eyes that seemed to glow behind the wet eyelashes that surrounded them. It was obvious that he'd been able to read Remus' slight offense at his joke, and now his expression was uncomfortably serious.

"Moony, you know I'd do anything to keep you safe, right? We all would. You're really important to us." Sirius confessed, his voice low, sending vibrations into the very center of Remus' body.

Remus had no reason to doubt the things the other boy was saying, but couldn't keep his comment from slipping.

"Then why were you the only one who jumped in after me?"

Sirius looked surprised by the comment, as though he'd not thought about that fact himself. The smile that spread across his face was intensely gentle though, and Remus felt himself shiver as the fingers on his cheek brushed against his skin again, the heat of a palm pressing along his jaw line.

"Well I guess maybe I care a bit more than they do..."

A lump had formed rather suddenly in Remus' throat, his heart thumping wildly against his rib cage. He'd imagined before what it might be like to have Sirius look at him as though he were special to him, as though he were a lover, and now he was certain that this is how it would look. In order to prevent the shaking that had started in his hands he reached up to hold onto his friend's forearms where he could feel his muscles tense slightly. He found himself blurting out words before he could stop to think properly.

"Pads, I want to tell you now." He said, his voice shaking some.

Sirius felt his stomach tighten and knew without having to ask what his lycanthropic friend was referring to. He pushed his fingers back into the velvety hair behind Remus' ears and rubbed soothing circles there.

"What is she using to blackmail you, Moony?" He asked quietly, hoping to sooth his nerves by broaching the subject first.

"There's... someone I like." Remus found himself struggling to get the words out, finding it hard to hear himself through the sound of blood rushing past his ears.

The sudden pressure in Sirius' chest surprised him. Not only because of the triviality of the secret that was giving Debbie so much power over him, but by the unhappiness it sparked inside him. It left a bitter taste in his mouth, though he quickly relegated it to his possessive nature.

"Is that it?" He asked, smiling nonchalantly.

"It's not that simple, Padfoot." Remus said, his dripping brows furrowing together. "If I don't do what she says she'll tell everyone, including the person I like."

Sirius couldn't stop the laughter that shook his body. He realized suddenly that Remus was much more adorable than he'd ever noticed. He'd always known that his friend was shy, but to see him panicking over something like a crush was nearly too much to bear. Sirius realized that laughing probably wasn't his best course of action, though, when he saw anger flash through his friend's eyes.

"I'm sorry Moony, but really..." he said, moving his hands down to take his shoulders. "You're giving this too much thought. If you like someone, just tell them. You're fantastic. There's no reason they won't like you back." He meant every word he said, but somehow felt a strange pang of jealousy as he said it.

"I know for a fact this person doesn't like me the same way... and I'm afraid of it ruining the friendship we have if they find out..." Remus felt his heart racing as he spoke, certain that Sirius would be able to figure his secret out with the amount of information he was giving.

Raising his gaze to meet his friend's intensely grey eyes he tried to convey his feelings with a look, finding words to be more difficult than he'd imagined. After a moment he saw the thick eyelashes surrounding those eyes he'd come to worship widen and for a second he was sure the message had been received, but almost immediately he realized he'd been wrong.

"You're in love with Lily?" Sirius asked, sounding genuinely shocked. "Moony, you know that James'll have your head if he finds out."

The frustration and disappointment that Remus felt surge up inside of him surprised even himself and before he could consider his reaction he felt himself shoving Sirius away from with both hands, his eyes stinging slightly with tears of anger. Sirius was obviously equally surprised and his foot slipped a little as he was pushed.

"It's not Lily, you stupid mutt! Merlin, why do you have to be so fucking dense?" Remus was throwing a full blown temper tantrum at this point, but was stopped as he tried to exit the shower.

"Woah! Calm down, Remus." Sirius said, using his real name to try and placate the other boy.

"You're so stupid, and so blind, and I really hate that about you!" Remus continued shouting, trying to pull his arms away from Sirius' grip. "You're so caught up in your stupid romantic flings that you have no idea of what's going on around you! You don't realize how many people are watching you and how many people you hurt!"

Remus was pretty sure, somewhere in the part of his brain that could still think straight, that he was getting dangerously close to saying something he would regret.

"Hey now, hold on just a second!" Sirius said, finally starting to look slightly offended. "Do you really think I don't care about people I break up with whose feelings get hurt?"

"If you do care you have a funny way of showing it! I wouldn't even be in this position if you hadn't gotten Debbie so upset!" Remus spat, wiping the water form his eyes as he did so.

"So now you're on _her _side? Moony, she's _blackmailing _you! She's not exactly the innocent victim! Besides, this isn't about me! It's about you, now tell me who it is that you like!"

"Of course it's about you! Its always about you!" Remus said, certain that the water that was stinging his eyes wasn't just from the shower any more.

In their slight scuffle Sirius had managed to back him against the tile of the shower, holding his wrists to keep his arms from flailing, and as he saw the hurt expression on his friend's face he felt a strange inkling of understanding, accompanied by an increase in his heart rate.

"Just tell me who it is, Rem." Sirius said quietly, their foreheads very nearly touching.

At such close proximity he could see the water from the faucet beading into heavy drops that hung from the other boy's eyelashes before they dripped down to roll down his cheek, or across his impossibly pink lips that seemed fuller than he'd ever realized at this close distance.

"Just say the name." Sirius whispered, realizing that Remus had completely stopped fighting him. "Please."

The tip of Remus' soft looking tongue darted out to moisten his already wet lips, and Sirius could see them shaking slightly as they opened a few times to try and form words.

"Its..." Remus began, his voice barely audible.

"Tell me." Sirius gently commanded again, not sure why he was still leaning closer to him, or why he felt such a powerful pull between their bodies, or whether he was actually intending to kiss him.

"Its..."

Remus had taken a deep, steeling breath and Sirius had only just realized he'd been holding his breath when their nerves were battered by the jarring sound of the door slamming open.

"Peter you twat! Don't go in there!" James' voice was heard from the dormitory outside, though both of the boys in the shower were focused on their slightly portly friend who was staring at them with a nearly comical look of shock on his face.

"What the hell?" Peter asked, his brows coming together in something that could have been disgust. "Are you two making out or something?"

Sirius felt his stomach clench painfully and immediately released Remus, taking a pointed step back.

"Don't joke like that, Wormy, it's disgusting." Sirius said before he could run his words through the proper filters.

Realizing what he'd just said, Sirius dared a look back at Remus whose face had turned to stone, though even without the aid of facial expression his eyes broadcasted the intense pain and insult he was feeling without trouble. For a second, Sirius was sure he was going to be punched, and was also sure he deserved it, but instead Remus gave him a hard shove, causing him to slip and stumble out of the shower, landing in a shamefully naked heap. Peter scampered out of the way as well as Remus stormed out of the bathroom, yanking a towel off the rack on his way and barely hiding the limp in his sprained leg.

"Wow... I dunno what you two were doing in here, but I think you may have messed up." Peter said as he turned to watch Remus march his warpath.

"No shit." Sirius muttered as he worked on getting himself back on his feet.


	12. Chapter 12

**Hey everyone!**

**I was going to have this up a few days ago but was struck down by the stomach flu ;_;  
><strong>

**Lets see if we can't get Sirius thinking straight!**

**Enjoy!**

* * *

><p>Disgusting. Sirius had called it <em>disgusting.<em> Remus' insides squirmed nauseously every time he thought about it. He wondered if he'd just been reading the atmosphere incorrectly. While they had been in the shower he'd been sure that things were going in the right direction. He'd even thought for a moment that Sirius was about to kiss him. But apparently it had been disgusting. The word kept floating around in his head, Sirius' voice echoing over and over. He was glad they'd been stopped before he'd told the truth, terrified to imagine the reaction his friend might've had.

When Sirius had pushed his way past Peter and past a rather furious looking James, Remus had promptly told him to fuck himself. Sirius had left after that, and after James apologized to Remus for their black haired friend's stupidity he went to find him, promising to set him straight. Peter had simply scampered off after taking the piss that obviously couldn't have waited. Remus was having a hard time caring, and was actually feeling relieved to be alone, even though that state didn't last long. He wondered if snapping at Sirius had been the best idea.

"Remus?" Lily's voice broke the silence as she quietly pushed the door open.

"What do you want, Lily?" Remus' voice came from inside his curtain drawn bed.

Sighing, Lily made her way into the room and immediately parted the curtains enough to have a look inside. She never would have imagined she'd see Remus sulking so blatantly, but that is exactly what he was doing.

"I heard about what happened." She said, pulling the curtains open further so she could sit on the edge of his bed.

There was a long silence before Remus managed to say anything at all, and when he did his nose sounded slightly stuffy. Lily felt her heart break a little when she realized he'd been crying. She couldn't remember a time when she'd seen him cry, even when she found out about his condition. She always thought that he was the strong type who wouldn't cry over anything.

"I'm really sorry, Remus." She tried to console, but just as her words left her mouth, Remus interjected.

"I'm finished, Lily." He said, sitting up, his shoulder slumped defeatedly. "I really appreciate all your help, but I'm finished."

"Oh, come on. Don't be like that. We're so close..." She said gently, turning to face him directly.

"We're not close at all. Not only have I nearly _died _a few times, it's obvious now that he's never going to like me the way I want him to. The right thing to do, the thing that a good _friend _should do, is give up. I need to make sure our friendship doesn't get any more strained than it has..."

Lily was quiet for a few moments, not sure what to say to his obviously firm decision. She wondered if she had made the wrong choice in pushing him the way she had. Admittedly, the rescues she'd set up for him had begun to get a bit dangerous, and things did seem a bit strained between the two boys. She had told herself that the complications were all Debbie's fault, but she wondered now if that was merely an excuse to absolve herself from responsibility. Maybe her meddling was simply an excuse to put her nose in someone else's business.

"I'm sorry I almost got you raped by a giant squid." She said after a moment.

There was a moment of silence after her apology, and then Remus began snickering, then laughing openly. Lily was relieved when she saw Remus lean forward, clutching at his sides as his body shook with laughter.

"Honestly, not something I thought I'd ever hear someone say to me." He said, wiping a few tears from his eyes.

"Well you know. I like to mix things up." Lily said, smiling as well, glad she was able to cheer her friend up, even if it was in an ironic sort of way.

"Do I even want to know how you managed something like that?" Remus asked, folding his legs so he was sitting up properly.

"Probably not. Though I wouldn't hold onto the clothes you were wearing any more." Lily said with a sheepish smile, not wanting to give away the fact that she'd brought James in on the plan.

"Well considering they're torn to shreds, I had planned to throw them away." Remus said, then sighed. "I should go apologize to Sirius. It's not his fault that I'm all messed up in the head."

"You're not messed up." Lily said sternly, but comfortingly as she took hold of his hand. "You can't help the way you feel."

"I know, Lils. Thanks. But... I really should apologize. The whole point of this was to avoid messing up our friendship... and that's exactly what I'm doing right now."

* * *

><p>At the same moment, James was attempting a similar conversation with Sirius who he'd caught up with out at the quiddich pitch. He was being decidedly less comforting than Lily, though.<p>

"Honestly, Sirius, could you have been a bigger prat? Do you just not think about the things that come out of that flap you call a mouth?" James lectured, even though Sirius was pointedly ignoring him in favor of swinging the small bat he used during games. "Oi! Are you listening?" He snapped, yanking the bat out of Sirius' hands.

Sirius glared silently at him a moment before picking up the second bat that had been in the trunk he'd drug onto the pitch. He was determined to work off some steam before getting into a conversation about it, knowing that he was too fired up at the moment to think things through. He was notorious for saying stupid things when he was angry... or shocked apparently.

He'd not even been entirely sure what was happening in that shower. He'd been able to feel the tension, and for a moment was certain he was about to snog the other boy within an inch of his life. In retrospect it may have been that particular feeling that frightened him so much. He'd never had a problem with blokes who liked to "run with their own" so-to-speak, but he'd never considered it for himself. He'd never been attracted to another man. But there had been something about that moment, about the look of Remus' scarred body slick with water and flushed from the heat, and possibly embarrassment, that had started a slow coil of arousal in the pit of his stomach. He'd felt the urge not only to kiss him but to run his mouth over every inch of his body, and he'd found himself suddenly wondering if the other boy's body would react the same way his own did when he touched those intimate places. Then there were those thoughts that brought him to places he never thought to touch. Though he had no experience with, or interest in, other boys, he wasn't naive. He knew how things worked between men. He suddenly found himself wondering if this strange, hot, interest he had in his friend was a stand alone incident or if he'd just never noticed the inclination in himself before.

The fact that he had a strange fascination with the asses of girls he dated suddenly came to mind. He'd always been told that he was just an "ass man," or more directly that he had an ass fetish. It was true that he often gauged the attractiveness of a woman by her ass before any other body parts, and it was also true that he would always try to talk the girls he dated into doing some experimenting round the back. He'd yet to find a girl who would let him, something he was immensely disappointed about. But men _had_ to do it that way, didn't they? Then he suddenly remembered a moment of weakness when he was alone in the shower, enjoying the privacy of a good wank and out of curiosity had slid a finger into himself. He told himself it was just because he wanted to know what it would feel like for the women he dated, hoping to understand why they all refused him. Instead he found the surge of pleasure it gave him a bit terrifying. He came harder than he ever had and then tried to forget it had happened. He'd not done it again since.

"Oi, you fucking mutt, stop ignoring me!" James shouted, suddenly batting a bludger he'd released in Sirius' direction.

"Hey!" Sirius shouted incredulously as he just managed to knock the bludger away before it clocked him in the head. "I'm not ignoring you, ponce! I'm thinking!"

The bludger shot upward but quickly adjusted it's course, looping back around to make it's way toward James.

"You expect me to believe that, you gobliphile!" James countered, smashing the bludger in a straight line back at Sirius' head. "Your problem is that you never think!"

"Why the hell is this _my _fault?" Sirius shouted with the exertion of smacking the ball back, hitting it harder this time. "I don't even know what the hell is going on!"

"That's your bloody problem!" James scoffed, watching the bludger make a beeline for his face. "You're so blind that you haven't even figured out that Remus-" He paused as his bat connected with the bludger one last time. "is in _love _with you!"

Sirius felt the anger inside him dissipate immediately as his friends words connected with his brain. This also distracted him long enough for the bludger to make another connection, this one happened to be with his solar plexus. Even as the wind was knocked violently from him, he had enough sense to hold onto the angry little ball as James began to drag the chest over toward him. Together they were able to wrestle the squirming thing into it's case.

"So you really had no idea?" James asked as he flopped down into the grass next to his still recovering friend.

Sirius was only able to shake his head, still gulping for air as his abdominal muscles continued to convulse every few seconds.

"I really shouldn't be the one telling you this. Remus doesn't even _know _that I know. Lily told me." James rubbed his arm slightly, unused to the stress the bat put on him.

After a moment, James glanced over to check on his friend's condition. He was obviously in shock, staring at the grass in front of him while still gripping his stomach. James thought he looked surprisingly pale.

"So you're actually, genuinely surprised?" James asked, unable to stop the smirk that spread across his face.

"Well of _course _I'm surprised!" Sirius sputtered. "Weren't you?"

"Not really. I had more or less sorted it out before I heard _anything _from Lily. And I thought with the way things had been going between the two of you, that you'd figured it out as well. At the very least, I figured you knew after that scene Wormtail and I walked in on."

"There wasn't anything going on." Sirius insisted, looking a bit angry, though his face was turning a traitorous shade of red.

"If you say so." James said with a shrug, leaning back to prop himself up with his hands. "But to me it looked like the two of you were naked in a shower and extremely close to making out."

"That's not funny, Prongs." Sirius snapped, seeming to have finally eased the pain in his stomach.

"Oh, that's right. That would be, oh what was the word you used? Disgusting. That's it."

"That's not funny either..." Sirius said, sounding a bit more sulky this time.

"You know you probably really hurt him by saying that." James said, his voice gentler this time.

Sirius didn't need to be told that he'd hurt his friend's feelings. He could tell simply by the look in his eyes. He could kick himself now for not being able to figure out what Remus had been trying to tell him. Why hadn't he been able to tell that it was him he was talking about. He met all the criteria. Remus had said it was a close friend. He'd been upset that Sirius hadn't been able to see the people he was hurting, "people" obviously referring to Moony. But he'd also said that he liked someone whom he knew would never like him back. He suddenly wondered if that part was true as well.

Admittedly, in that moment, he hadn't been sure if he'd planned to kiss him. He wondered if that meant he liked him as well. He suddenly remembered the other things that had flitted nonchalantly through his mind in those moments. He remembered the heat he felt in his body while he'd been undressing him, the urge he'd felt to kiss those little pink spots he could see through the other boy's shirt, the hot desire to touch his full lips to find out once and for all if they were really as soft as they looked.

"Oi, are you ignoring me again, you mutt?" James said, shoving his shoulder, nearly causing him to tip over.

"Damn it, Prongs, will you give a man a chance to think!" Sirius said, feeling agitated.

"What is there to think about? You either like him or you don't!"

"Its not that simple!" Sirius countered, reminding himself of Remus' commentary regarding his crush.

Recalling those moments in the shower only made more of the tantalizing interactions rush back to his mind. He felt his face begin to heat up as he recalled the feeling of Remus' wrists held tightly in his hands, the feeling of his breath brushing against his lips as he leaned so inappropriately close to him. He stopped this train of thought faster than he had the first time.

"I just don't know yet..." Sirius admitted after a moment.

James sighed, seeming annoyed, but understanding.

"Well whether you've figured it out or not, you need to apologize to him." he said.

"What if... what if he's just feeling this way about me because of everything that's been happening lately? I mean, with Debbie doing all this horrible stuff to him... maybe he's just got some weird admiration for me since I've been the one protecting him." Sirius said after a moment, obviously trying to find a way to make this all seem a bit more normal.

"Well..." James said, rubbing the back of his neck.

He knew that this was all stuff that he'd been told to keep secret, but the kneazle had already been let out of the bag, so he figured it would be best to get everything out in the open. As much as he loved Lily, he found the sneaky ways that girls used to handle things unnecessarily difficult and convoluted.

"I think you've gotten that a bit backwards." He said after a moment.

"What do you mean?" Sirius asked, his brows creasing, getting the impression he wasn't gong to like what he hears.

James sighed in defeat.

"Again... I really shouldn't be telling you this." he said. "And you really shouldn't get mad about it. But, Lily and Remus have been planning most of the things you've been saving him from."

"...What?" Sirius asked, sure he'd heard wrong.

"Yeah... The owlery, the near fall from the astronomy tower, the suit of armor... Lily cast that jelly legs jinx on him... and I um... sort of put squid pheromones on his jumper..."

Sirius stared at him like he just said he'd used kittens as bludgers.

"What the hell is wrong with you two? Merlin's bloody back hair, why would you put him into danger like that?" He'd gotten to his feet, looking like he was ready to fight to defend the fair Moony's honor, something that nearly made James chuckle.

"Relax, Pads. They were all regulated to make sure he wasn't hurt... mostly." He said.

"Mostly?" Sirius' voice was getting dangerously angry.

"Look, mate, you can get as mad as you like, but the bottom line is that Remus knew about all of this, and _agreed _to let us do it!" James said, squaring up his shoulders, refusing to be intimidated by Sirius. "Well, agree to let Lily do it. He doesn't know she got me involved."

"Remus is too smart to let you knobs do this sort of thing to him." Sirius said sternly.

"Sorry, but I'm telling the truth." James said with a shrug. "Lily has him convinced that if he acted more helpless like the girls you usually hook up with, it might spark some interest on your end."

"What?" Sirius seemed honestly surprised. "But... Why would he want to act like _them_? I mean... I never stay in a relationship with any of them because they're all wretched. They're all either totally helpless and need me to do everything for them, or they're only in it for my looks or my title. Remus is way smarter than that, and _way _more capable!" He seemed so baffled that it was comical.

"Well..." James said, grinning a little. "Love can make us think and do stupid things."

Sirius felt a strange kind of warmth bubble up inside him, something he'd never really felt before. He wondered if it might be happiness, but immediately realized that the prospect of that scared him a little too much.

"Oi, speak of the devil." James said as he stood up from his spot in the grass, looking to where Remus was making his way up the slope to the pitch.

Sirius' frame stiffened, seeming a bit terrified all of a sudden, he was also frantically trying to straighten his clothes, as though worried about his appearance. Unable to help the roll of his eyes, James put a steadying hand on his friend's shoulder.

"I'm gonna head back. You get this sorted out, yeah?" He said, giving him a firm squeeze to the shoulder to give him confidence. "He's bonkers for you, mate. It'll be hard to mess this up."

Giving him one more thump on the back, James walked toward Remus, planning to head back to the castle. As he neared his other friend he stopped and smiled reassuringly at him.

"Give him a break, alright?" James said, stuffing his hands down into his pockets. "He's kinda stupid."

"I know." Remus said with a sort of soft admiration that was nearly blinding in its beauty.

Remus smiled his thanks to James who made his way back down the slope and away from the quiddich pitch, leaving him alone with the boy who he was sure thought his love was disgusting.


	13. Chapter 13

**Hey everyone!  
>Sorry for the long wait... again. ^^;;;<br>I just moved into my very own apartment though, so I've been super busy, but now, hopefully I'll have more time for writing!**

**I've noticed that the "humor" genre listing I gave this story doesn't seem to really suit it any more and I had been thinking about changing it. Let me know if you think I should. ^^**

**Anyway, on with the story!**

* * *

><p>As Sirius watched his friend make his way up toward the pitch the speed at which his heart was beating left him feeling sick to his stomach. He wondered how he should act around the other boy now, or whether Remus knew that his secret at been discovered.<p>

As the thought crossed his mind, Sirius realized that 'secret' was not a very good term for the other boy's feelings. All at once the memories of every interaction he'd had with his friend came rushing back to him, now filtered through this new information, and he realized that Remus had been more obvious than either of them had realized. What scared him the most, thought, was that his own actions had probably given his friend the wrong impression, or at least, what he told himself was the wrong impression.

He remembered vividly the few, searing minutes they shared wrapped together in Sirius' coat. Sirius knew he couldn't blame Remus for that particular incident, as he'd been the one to insist upon it. He wondered why it was that he craved the feeling of his friend wrapped up in his arms. Had Remus been a girl he would have been certain it was simply the urge to feel an attractive body pressed against his. But Remus was not a girl, and he was certain that that meant something significant, that it meant he couldn't be feeling the same things. He was a normal teenage boy, after all.

What he realized, though, was that he _had _liked the feeling of Remus wrapped in close to him. He liked the feeling of carrying him, and the feeling of undressing him, and all of this combined with the knowledge that Remus liked him in the most intimate of ways terrified him.

"Hey." Remus' said quietly, and a little awkwardly, as he finally arrived on the pitch by his friend.

"Hey." Sirius mirrored, his thumbs hooked into his pockets to keep them anchored to avoid fidgeting.

There was a moment of heavy silence as they both waited to see what the other would say, and while Sirius was never one to condone silence, he was in no hurry to open his mouth.

"Pads..." Remus began again, and Sirius felt his stomach clench, wondering if he was about to confess. "I want to apologize for what happened earlier." Remus continued, his breath coming out of him all at once. "You really helped me out at the lake, and you've been looking after here with all the stupid things that've been going on. I shouldn't have shouted at you like that. And I shouldn't have pushed you. I'm sorry."

As he finished his sentence Remus was staring at one of the buttons on his friend's jacket, his cheeks flushed just slightly, a gesture that stood out more glaringly to Sirius now. Sirius knew that he should respond to the apology. He should laugh and say it's not a big deal, call himself socially inept as he often did, though in far more colorful language. But he couldn't laugh this time, he couldn't smile, he could hardly get himself to register what the other boy was saying. Before he realized it his eyes had zoned in on a small purple mark that was sticking out from under his friend's collar.

"I think the squid gave you a hickey." Sirius heard himself saying, his fingers brushing the skin before he could stop himself.

Immediately he realized he shouldn't have. He felt Remus jerk under his fingers, nearly leaping back away from him. They both felt their faces heat up, and could see the blush spread across the other's cheeks, mirroring their own. Sirius chastised himself silently. This was exactly the kind of thing that had probably lead Remus to mistake his friendship for deeper feelings. He tried to convince himself that this was the sort of thing he did to all his friends, that it was completely normal for him. But he tried to remember a time he had touched James' skin so tenderly and immediately he felt repulsed at the idea. He could imagine his bespectacled friend's face and the brotherly beating that would follow.

"Sorry." Was all that Sirius could think to say as he looked into his friend's now wide, honey colored eyes.

"Its," He had to pause to remove a lump from his throat. "Its fine. You just startled me." He said, seeming to get hold of himself, dropping his hand from his throat back down to his side. "Remus..." Sirius began, unsure of what would follow.

He saw the other boy's emotions subtly waging battle on his face. He could see the mix of fear and tentative hope swirling in his eyes, but when he opened his mouth he realized immediately what a horrible person he really was.

"Remus, I think you were right. You should probably give up on the person you like... friendship is more important, right?"

He felt the words seep from his mouth like poison, and watched as they immediately began to break Remus down. There was a split second in which he thought he saw his best friend's heart break, but it was almost immediately concealed with laughter that was painfully forced.

"Its not like to you give serious advice." Remus joked, obviously doing so to hide the pain that was almost visible in its intensity.

Sirius opened his mouth to say something, to try and defend his reaction, or possibly revoke it, but he still wasn't sure which it would be. He was a coward, he decided, and this situation terrified him. He told himself that things would be fine if they just went back to the way they were. He told himself that Remus would only hurt more chasing after him, that this would give him closure. But really, all it did was give him an excuse to ignore the confused emotions the lycanthrope was stirring up inside him.

"So yeah. Sorry for the shoving." Remus said, his whole body shaking slightly while his eyes looked anywhere but at the black haired boy that had just not-too-subtly rejected him. "And don't worry about all these stupid accidents that've been happening. I have a feeling things are going to calm down now."

"Remus..." Sirius said, not sure if he was trying to take back what he said or not, only knowing that he had to do something to stop this painful rambling.

"Anyway, we've got a potions essay due soon. I better get started so you lot have someone to copy from, ey?" He had a manic tone to his voice, almost like he was about to start laughing, but Sirius was painfully aware that he was only trying to cover up the excruciating pain he was feeling. "Anyway, I'll see you at supper."

Remus was able to keep Sirius silent with his constant rambling until he managed to scamper off toward the castle.

Sirius watched his friends figure until it disappeared behind a few walls of the castle, then sank down into the slightly crunchy grass. A great flood of self loathing washed over him as he realized that he'd likely just broken his friend's heart. He tried to console himself by remembering all the tears and shouting that he'd had pointed his direction from any one of the girls he'd dumped. He'd always wondered if he were a heartless person for feeling no sympathy for those girls. He realized, though, as he watched Remus valiantly covering his emotions with laughter that he'd not felt sympathy for those girls simply because he'd never had real feelings for them in the first place.

He wondered if his fear had lead him to make the worst decision of his life.

* * *

><p>The days that followed the awkward conversation on the quiddich pitch were filled simultaneously with the most confusing feelings for Sirius as well as the clearest realizations. The confusion came from the tumultuous ocean he could feel churning in his stomach every time he caught sight of Remus. The other boy had remained surprisingly absent considering the close quarters which they shared, often leaving the dorm before his friends woke up and climbing into bed before they returned. The realization, however, was that he had not only damaged his friendship with Remus, but with James and Lily as well.<p>

While James was not ignoring him completely, the short, snippy way in which he spoke to him made it very clear that he didn't agree with his decision. Sirius thought he should be angry about his friend's reaction. He thought that James should maybe take a moment to consider _his_ feelings instead of only thinking of Remus'. But he quickly realized that he deserved to be hated for what he'd done, because he'd only done it out of fear.

Remus may have seemed normal to an untrained eye when the marauders found themselves in public. During classes, and during lunch, which he still attended, he would laugh, but Sirius knew that every chortle, every smile, was faked. He knew because they were too boisterous. He was laughing when the real Moony would be rolling his eyes, he was being noisy when a simple scoff would have been appropriate. He knew that Remus was compensating, trying desperately to cover the pain he was feeling while in Sirius' presence.

Another fact that had become blindingly obvious was that Debbie was no longer tagging along at his heels. Sirius found it strange. Remus had said she was threatening to divulge Remus' secret if he didn't go out with her. But she must know about what happened. She must know that Remus was effectively rejected, whether Sirius had said it so bluntly or not. Why was she avoiding him now. She should be thrilled, she should be all over him. It wasn't that Sirius wanted to see her all over him, in fact, the idea of any girl being all over Moony left a foul taste in the aristocratic boy's mouth. And while he was glad that the strange 'accidents' had stopped, he still felt uneasy by Debbie's sudden disinterest.

Had he been paying more attention to himself, however, and less attention to Remus, he might have realized why Debbie was not paying attention to Remus. Her eyes were too trained on a certain black haired coward instead.

* * *

><p>" 'Get it sorted out,' I said. 'It'll be hard to mess it up,' I said." James was waving his fork around, Remus hardly out of earshot after dismissing himself early from supper again. "Really, Padfoot, you're ability to be the stupidest thing to be living and breathing on the face of this planet really astounds me."<p>

"Give it a rest, Prongs." Sirius said, not needing to listen very hard to catch the real anger in his friends voice, only barely veiled by a lighter tone. "What's done is done."

"Tell me, does being part of the Black family automatically leave you heartless, or was that something you had to work for on your own?" James asked bitingly, stuffing another forkful of potatoes into his mouth.

The jibe at his family lineage struck Sirius at his core and he couldn't help but lash back at his friend.

"He's not the first person to get rejected, _James._" Sirius said, using his friend's real name like an insult, hoping the barb would get his point across. "And anyway, what about _my_ feelings, huh? Did you forget that its not just about how _he_ feels?"

"Oh give it a rest, _Black_." James countered without a beat missed, "You don't even know what you're feeling. Anyone with eyes in their skull could see that."

"Exactly! I don't know _how_ I feel. Is a bit of time to sort it out too much to ask?"

"Yeah, it is when you're the only bloody person who hasn't figured it out yet!" James said, raising his voice, ignoring the looks they were getting from down their table.

"Stop doing that! Stop acting like you know what I'm feeling, because you haven't got the slightest clue what's going on in my head!" Sirius snapped back, slamming his hands down on the table, knocking a small trey of sausages over.

"That's an easy one!" James bellowed back, meeting Sirius' table hitting and raising him an angry rise to standing. "There's not a fucking thing going on in there!"

"Why you..." Sirius began, nearly knocking the bench out from under himself and a few other students as he launched himself to his feet, ready to reach across the table the sock the other boy right in his know-it-all face.

Before their argument could escalate past words, however, they were interrupted by the sound of screaming, then a rush of students outside the great hall. Immediately, students left their tables and ran for the door, everyone murmuring and trying to sort out what happened. James and Sirius pushed their way through the crowd, trying to make their way from the dining hall into the main atrium of the castle where the epicenter of excitement seemed to be.

"What happened?" They heard several students shouting over the sound of teachers.

"Someone fell from the landing!" another voice shouted

"Oh god! Who was it?"

"They're not moving"

"Are they breathing?"

"What's going on?"

James and Sirius both felt a sinking feeling in the pit of their stomachs, but were unable to make it to the center of the deep ring of students before Madam Pomfrey showed up on the scene, the students immediately parting to let her through. Silence fell over the crowded entry way of the castle as the healer apparently set to work assessing the situation. Slowly a whispering hum began to spread through the crowd, rippling back toward the two marauders.

Sirius and James both felt the blood drain from their bodies as the whispered words finally came close enough to them to be recognizable.

"Its Lupin."

* * *

><p>It hadn't taken Pomfrey long to move Remus to the healing ward, and while James and Sirius had not been allowed to follow her, they had caught a glimpse of their unconscious friend, blood covering part of his face.<p>

Immediately, James and Sirius had begun questioning the students in the hallway, though all they succeeded in doing was terrifying a few first and second years and learning that it was the third floor landing he'd fallen from, though another student had sworn it was the fourth. Either way, it didn't change the fact that their friend had fallen and seemed to be seriously injured.

The two marauders, now turned detectives, hurried up to the third story landing where they guessed Remus had fallen from. They'd hoped to find something that would help them figure out what had caused the accident, but there was nothing out of the ordinary. Sirius felt his stomach clench and his head spin when the worst of thoughts struck him.

"P-Prongs... You don't think he um..." Sirius began, his hands steadying him on the railing, looking down to the floor where Remus had been lying.

"Jumped?" James finished for him, though Sirius was only able to nod. "I don't think so. I know he was heart broken, but it just doesn't seem like something he'd do. I mean, no offense to you, but if I were him, I'd kill myself because of the whole werewolf thing long before I did it because of you."

The tension drained almost immediately from Sirius' body. While James had done a fantastic job of reminding him that he wasn't worth much, he also knew his friend was right. Remus wasn't the type to run away from his problems. He was the type to grit his teeth and bear them, even if it meant doing so alone. It was one of the things he loved about Remus.

Sirius felt his throat constrict as that word bounced around his head. Had he meant to think that. He often thought he _liked _certain things about people, but never had he thought the big 'L' word so unintentionally before.

"James!" a higher voice suddenly broke through the silence as Lily rushed over to where the two boys were standing. "What happened? I heard Remus was in the hospital wing!"

"He fell from the landing here." James said, putting his hands on her arms to calm her. "We haven't heard anything else yet.

Sirius felt a spark of rage ignite inside him when he saw the red head make her way toward them. She's the one who had planned everything bad that'd happened to Remus. It was because of her that he almost froze to death, because of her that he almost drown. She'd already tried pushing him from the astrology tower.

"You." Sirius said, his voice quiet with apparent revelation. "Was this another one of your stupid plans?"

Lily looked shocked, both because Sirius seemed to know about their secret plans and also because of the hushed danger that was latent in his voice.

"What?" She asked, seeming shocked that he would even suggest it.

"Dont play stupid with me, Evans!" Sirius snarled, causing James to step between them. "This was all part of your stupid little plan, right? You've already pushed him off a tower! What's a few stories matter?" his voice had risen to a shout.

"I didn't do this! I'd never hurt Remus!" Lily insisted.

"What a load of shit! Were you telling yourself that when you locked him in that owlery? Or how about when you almost drown him! This is all your fault!" Sirius was in a rage now and reached for Lily's arm, though he was knocked over instead by a well-connected fist to his cheek, sending him toppling, luckily, away from the railing.

"Get a grip, Sirius!" James shouted down at him. "We're all upset about this! And you gave up the right to be so fucking angry when you told him to keep his feelings to himself! You didn't even give him the chance to tell you! You're a coward! Don't act all high and mighty now!"

Sirius could see the look of complete disgust in James' eyes and got the impression he'd been wanting to do that and say those words for days. He got the distinct impression that his outburst toward Lily had very little to do with it.

Debbie smiled to herself and turned down an adjacent hall. Normally seeing someone try to hurt Sirius left her feeling vengeful and angry, but this time it was a perfect addition to her plan. She wasn't sure if she'd actually removed Remus from the situation the way she'd hoped, but she could always try again if Madam Pomfrey was able to bring him around. Sirius, however, was slowly and meticulously being severed from his closest friends. Things were going exactly how she'd hoped they would. Soon, Sirius would be alone and pathetic and she would be able to swoop in and lend him the shoulder he so desperately needed. He would be hers in a matter of days. She was sure of it.

* * *

><p><strong>Sorry for the false sense of finality that my last chapter had. ^^ I know a lot of you thought they would finally be getting together... BUT I HAVE A PLAN! That just wasn't how I wanted it to end, but I promise it'll be a happy ending! So please don't panic!<br>**


	14. Chapter 14

**Hey everyone! **

**I'm so glad that over-all, most of you seem happy that I didn't go ahead and get those two together on the quiddich pitch. I had been afraid that you would all start to get frustrated with all of my "close calls." ^^;;; **

**Also, I received an anonymous criticism about the space between my updates and I want to say that I was actually VERY HAPPY to get it! In the review, the author said they were afraid to leave any criticism while signed in on their account. I just want everyone to know that they should ****never be afraid **** to leave negative criticism or constructive criticism. Of course, I only ask that my reviewers are polite about the way they say things, but I am on this site to try and improve myself. I truly love all of the praise I get in my reviews, but if any of you ever see something you don't like, or that you found odd, hard to understand/read, or clumsy, please, PLEASE tell me. If you dislike something, please let me know what it was that you disliked. I can't say that I will always take every bit of advice that I get, but I am always going to appreciate getting it. **

**Please don't be afraid to say what you're thinking, whether it is good or bad. I am here to grow and hopefully help other people grow. **

**Of course, if you want to leave a review that just says "I LOVE YOU!" I'll be just as happy for that one too 3 ^.~**

**ANYWAY!**

**Enough chatter and seriousness. Onward with the story!**

*****also, sorry this is so short. I've been sitting on what you're reading now for a really long time, trying to decide where to go next. I figured it would be better to go ahead and post what I have, even though it's short, rather than making you all wait. I hope you still like it**!

* * *

><p>For the next forty-eight hours, Sirius began to realize what a pathetic situation he was in. No one had been let in to see Remus, though he wondered if it would be appropriate for him to see his friend after what he'd said to him. James and Lily were both decidedly ignoring him, whispering intensely to each other instead, probably trying to figure out what had happened to Remus. Sirius was most angry that they wouldn't even let him help to avenge their friend. Just because he'd turned down the prospect of a romantic relationship with Moony didn't mean that he didn't care about him. He felt they were being unfair and fought the urge to throw a good old-fashioned temper tantrum, though he figured that throwing himself on the ground in a fit wouldn't help his reputation at the moment.<p>

The saddest part of the whole situation, however, was that the only friend he was left with at the moment was Wormtail. Sirius wondered some times why they considered peter to be such a close friend. He'd begun to feel more and more like an obnoxious little brother. He never really wanted to be around the other boy, but there was an unconditional bond there. He felt obligated to include him, as though there were an invisible parent shaking their finger in his direction telling him to include little Peter.

"You don't seemed very bothered by all of this." Sirius muttered from where he was laying on the floor, his feet propped up on the couch Peter was sitting on

"Well I figure the teachers will sort it out." Peter said distractedly, his quill sloppily scribbling on the love letter in his lap. "I'm sure they've already figured out who it was. And Pomfrey can heal just about anything, so I'm sure he's fine."

Sirius sulked silently for a few minutes, his fingers drumming agitatedly on his own stomach and chest. He hated that his friend was so calm about all of this, though he was sure he'd be less calm if he told him the rest of the story. Peter likely wouldn't take well to the idea of two of his male friends having attraction problems.

"So, Wormy," Sirius asked, trying to sound casual but suddenly struck with an idea. "Is Helena still friends with that Debbie girl?"

"Sort of." Peter answered, not bothering to look up from his letter. "She was pretty upset about that thing with Lily, so she's kept a bit of distance. But I know she still has a lot of classes with her."

"Has Helena said anything about her and Remus dating?" Sirius asked, the words nearly choking in his throat before he could get them out.

Peter suddenly chuckled, finally looking up from his parchment to give Sirius a knowing look, one infused with a dash of jealousy. It was a look that Sirius often saw on his friend's face when they were talking about girls.

"Only that she was surprised since you're the one Debbie's always going on about. You better be careful, Padfoot. Stealing your best mate's girlfriend is the fasted way to ruin a friendship." Peter was shaking his head slightly as he went back to his business, obviously thinking that Sirius was fishing for information to get closer to Debbie, something that wasn't unheard of when it came to the black haired teen.

Sirius felt his stomach turn over at the thought of being interested in Debbie. Even before everything that had happened with Remus, when they had dated briefly, Sirius found her hard to stomach. She was a very pretty girl, which is what had first drawn Sirius to her, but he'd felt from the beginning that she was slightly off kilter. He never could put his finger on what it was, but he was certain that there was some sort of imbalance that she was dealing with.

* * *

><p>"I thought I told you to keep away from me until you've sorted your issues." James said agitatedly as Sirius hurried over to the table he and Lily were sitting at.<p>

"Will you come off it a second! This is important!" Sirius said, angry that James was still giving him the cold shoulder, but too excited about his revelation to fight with him. "I think I know who pushed Moony!"

"Oh? And who do you think did it?" James asked sarcastically.

"It was Debbie. I'm sure of it. He told me she'd been blackmailing him." Sirius said, his hands firmly on their table, not caring that the other students in the common room were staring at him.

James and Lily exchanged glances with each other, and Sirius thought they looked surprised. He thought, perhaps, Remus hadn't told them about his issues with Debbie and he felt a swelling of joy at the idea of Remus only trusting him with the information.

"At first I was really confused because Moony told me she was blackmailing him to make sure he would go out with her. But here lately she hasn't been tagging along behind him like she normally was." Sirius paused for breath, feeling like he'd finally unraveled the mystery and was in the process of regaining some standing in the eyes of his friends. "I thought it was weird so I looked into it. Turns out Wormy's girlfriend said that Debbie usually talked about liking _me. _I think she shoved him off the edge, and has been giving him a hard time not because she thought she might lose him to me, but because she thought she might lose me to _him_!"

Sirius paused, taking a triumphant breath, smiling at his two friends who were looking almost confused. He was thrilled at the idea of outsmarting them, but before his ego could inflate any further they both burst into peels of laughter.

"What's so funny?" Sirius shouted. "I'm being serious!"

"Just... just sit down, mate." James said through his laughter, patting Sirius on the shoulder as he did so. "I'm sorry I've been giving you such a hard time. I thought you were just being a prat, but I realize now that you really are _just that blind._"

"W-what?" Sirius asked, feeling both confused and slightly offended.

"Sirius," Lily began, attempting to cover her smile with her fingers, though her green eyes were surprisingly compassionate. "We've known from the moment it happened that Debbie had been the one to push him over that railing."

"And we've known she's had her eyes on you from the start." James added, ruffling Sirius' hair.

"But... did Remus tell you?" Sirius asked, still shocked that they'd already sorted out what took him so long to do.

"Only that she'd been blackmailing him to get him to date her." Lily said, patting Sirius' hand comfortingly. "But honestly, Black, he's as blind as you are."

* * *

><p>Sirius was relieved to have the comfort of his friends back, and was also glad they were no longer pressuring him into making a decision about his feelings for Remus. He still felt so conflicted, and for a moment had considered not going to see their injured friend when Pomfrey informed them that visitation was allowed. Of course James refused to let him pass up the opportunity.<p>

"Three ribs, one bone in my right leg, two in my right arm and a fracture in my skull..." Remus said to them in a slightly groggy voice when they asked if he was alright. "...still not as bad as transformation." He finished with a smile.

His friends, who had gathered around his bed laughed at his attitude. Sirius felt a warmth spread in his chest as he heard him laugh about his injuries. He was of course both terrified and furious about the extent of his injuries, but the admiration he felt blew all of those away. This moment was what Sirius loved most about Moony. His strength.

Upon first glance, most people would assume that Remus was a typical shy, bookish boy. They may expect him to be weak, easily hurt, and maybe even boring. But Sirius knew better. He had been granted a coveted seat in Remus' inner circle. He knew just how strong the other boy was. He saw the physical pain he went through every month and the emotional pain that the transformations left in him that he handled valiantly but could never quite shake.

"Did you see who pushed you?" Lily asked from where she sat on the side of his bed.

"No." Remus said, gingerly pushing himself up to a slightly more erect position. "The professors have been asking me non stop about it."

"Sirius did some pretty intensive sloothing and thinks it might have been Debbie." James said, tilting his head in Sirius' direction.

Sirius felt his face heat up as Remus' eyes locked with his. There was a silence that no one wanted to break for a moment as the two searched each other. While Remus was searching his friend's steely portals for any sign of dislike, Sirius was searching for something other that the hurt he knew he'd caused in the other boy. After what seemed like eternity Remus dropped his gaze, not seeming to find the disgust he was fearing.

"That wouldn't surprise me." Remus said as he straightened his bedding. "I'd suspected as much already, but didn't want to give the teachers unsubstantiated accusations."

"That means telling them things he cant prove." James whispered to Sirius, purposefully making it loud enough for everyone to hear.

"I know what it means!" Sirius shouted back at him, shoving his arm, causing the whole group to erupt in laughter.

Sirius felt a comfortable sensation filling him up. He was happy to have things back to normal. Even Remus was laughing, and for the first time in what seemed like eternity, it wasn't a nervous laugh or a forced laugh. It was a perfect laugh. The perfection of sound that could only be created by his Moony.

It was startling to realize how often he thought of him that way now. As being _his._

_**sorry it's so short!**  
><em>

_**I'll try to get more up soon!  
><strong>_


	15. Chapter 15

**I promise this will be going somewhere soon. ^^;;  
><strong>

* * *

><p>Sirius found himself pacing their dorm-room again, something he did very often these days. Pacing had always been a habit of his, but it had usually been Remus who had calmed him or distracted him in order to save the sanity of the others.<p>

"I can't take this any more!" Peter finally shouted as he disentangled himself from his bed covers. "You're driving me up the wall with your pacing, Padfoot!" He pulled a jumper on over his head in a rather furious looking manner and grumbled as he trudged to the door. "I'm going to find Helena."

Sirius stopped in his now well known route to watch his friend storm from the room, then looked over to James who was flipping through his favorite quiddich magazine, who merely shrugged**. **It didn't take long for Sirius to return to his well worn path. He knew his nervous habits annoyed his friends, but he just couldn't get himself to hold still. Remus was being released from the hospital wing in just a few hours, and that meant that he may end up alone with him at some point. It had been easy to ensure that he had a partner every time they went to visit their injured friend, but now he was losing that control, and he wasn't sure what would happen if they were alone again. The idea frightened him because he had no idea what he would say or do. His body seemed to have a way of taking over when he was alone with the honey colored boy.

"You know, pacing like that isn't going to make your feelings for Remus change." James suddenly broke the silence, not bothering to look up from his reading.

"Mind your own business, Prongs." Sirius said after a startled pause.

Without looking offended, James tossed his magazine aside and climbed off his bed. After toeing on his shoes, he looked back at his panicked friend.

"C'mon, Pads. Lets go down to the lake." He said evenly.

"What for?" Sirius narrowed his eyes suspiciously at him.

"I wanna show you something." James said with a subtle grin that told him he was up to no good.

Sirius thought for a moment that following him wasn't the best of ideas, but the curiosity he felt at his friend's obvious plotting got his feet moving. They wanted to move anyway, so he might as well point them toward the lake, it really made no difference.

With spring slowly inching its way in, there were more students out on the grounds than either boy had seen in months. After the incident between Remus and the squid, many of the students had opted to stay away from the lake, though the fear of the giant cephalopod had apparently diminished over the past several days and there was another group of students down by the water, feeding the wobbly thing. Sirius recognized Peter and his girlfriend in the small group, but was relieved to see that Helena's horrible friend wasn't included.

"So are you excited that Moony gets released today?" James asked casually as he settled down in the grass that had been snow free for nearly a week now.

"Well, yeah. Aren't you?" Sirius asked, taking a seat next to him.

"Sure. I was just wondering since you seem more nervous now than you were when he went _into _the hospital." James said, lounging back on his elbows.

Sirius knew what his friend was doing, and he was determined to keep it from working.

"You know its complicated..." He muttered.

There was a long pause as James watched his friend. Sirius could feel his appraising eyes, but was determined to remain unaffected by them, opting instead to focus his attention on locating every tiny stone around him. The students by the lake could be heard in the distance, but their spot on the grassy slope seemed surprisingly private.

"You know, Sirius, I'm not trying to trick you or anything." James said quietly, the use of his friend's real name catching the other boy's attention. "I really am worried about you two."

Sirius tried to decide if it was safe to divulge the kind of feelings he was mulling over in hsi head. He was afraid to say anything out loud, because it meant that he couldn't deny it later, but he also knew that James was more like family than his real brother. The secrets shared between them and the other marauders were more than mere school boy secrets.

"Im worried about us too." Sirius finally mumbled, resigning himself to the fact that he wouldn't be able to hide his thoughts forever.

"Why are you so afraid to admit that you like him?" James continued, skipping over the part where Sirius had to admit that he did, in fact, have feelings for their lycanthropic friend, something that made Sirius both annoyed and grateful.

"Would it be so easy for _you _to admit that you fancy a man? Or a friend for that matter?" Sirius sneered half heartedly, still ripping the grass from the ground around him.

"If you're afraid of him rejecting you, I don't think you have to worry. He's head over heels for you, mate." James said, smiling encouragingly.

"I know he is." Sirius muttered, seeming a little ashamed of himself.

"If you know, then what's holding you up? Are you afraid you're gonna miss the birds or something if you go out with him?" James asked, seeming a little more confused now.

"No, they're nothing but trouble anyway."

"I don't understand. What's keeping this from happening then?" James asked, flailing his arms a little in frustration.

Sirius paused, obviously torn about whether to go on. There was a patch of dirt in from of him now from where he'd massacred the grass. After opening his mouth several times and giving up he finally forced the words out, causing them to come rushing out in a jumble.

"Do you know what people will say about us?" he nearly shouted. "You know how people around here treat guys like u-" The words choked him for a second, "Its looked down on as much as being a squib! Everyone would be judging us! They'd be saying horrible things about us behind out back!"

James was obviously stunned by his friend's confession. It was clearly not what he'd been expecting to hear.

"Remus has enough to worry about without me adding this to his plate." Sirius mumbled in defeat as he turned back to his mutilated lawn.

There was a relatively uncomfortable pause, and Sirius thought that maybe he'd gotten through to his friend when he suddenly felt a very painful flick to the back of his ear.

"Ow! Hey, what was that fo-"

"What the fuck is wrong with you?" James nearly shouted, continuing before Sirius could push any words from his gaping mouth. "Sirius Fucking Black, the guy who gave his pure bred family the finger. The one who told an entire bloodline of Slytherins to sod off so he could be in Gryffindor. You think people don't already talk about you behind your back?"

"Th-this is different." Sirius managed to stutter out.

"How! How is this any different? You _never _care about what people say! Why do you care about _this_?"

Sirius opened his mouth to explain several times, but found himself unable to formulate any kind of rational explanation under the angry gaze of his friend. He felt the anxiety starting to bubble up in him again, the same shaky feeling he got when he danced around the truth surrounding the feelings he had for Remus. He thought he may start sweating, though his skin felt cold. He didn't realize how closely James had been watching him, or how public his feelings were until he heard his friend's voice break through the crisis going on inside his head.

"Pads, is this not the first time you've liked a bloke?" James asked, his voice surprisingly gentle and a little surprised.

There was a quick pang of fear that caused Sirius to consider panicking, though he knew hiding any kind of truth right now was impossible since James was reading him like an open book. Instead he got frustrated.

"Padfoot?" James prompted again.

"It wasn't anything serious, okay?" Sirius raised his voice at his prying friend, seeming prepared to fend off a verbal attack that was never actually coming. "We had this gardener, alright? He was way older than me, so its not like anything happened! I just liked watching him. He was good looking, that's all!" He paused, glaring at his friend like he was ready to fight.

James just watched him steadily, his eyes not seeming surprised or disgusted. Once he'd realized that his bespecticaled friend wasn't out to judge him he continued in a less aggressive tone.

"My father noticed." Sirius continued, his brows furrowed in frustration. "He pulled me aside and told me that I shouldn't look at other men that way. He said it was unnatural, that the whole wizarding community would turn its back on me if they found out..."

"Well your father also thinks that mixed bloods are unnatural." James said, trying to hide the roll of his eyes. "I've never seen you care so much about what your family thinks. Besides, even if you and Moony do decide to have a relationship, that's your business. You don't have to run the announcement in The Daily Prophet or anything. No one has to know buT the two of you. And me, of course." he said with a smile. "And Lily... and maybe Peter..."

Sirius tried to give him a dirty look, but couldn't stop himself from chuckling, his body feeling lighter since his confession.

"C'mere a second, Pads." James said as he stood up. "I wanna show you something."

Curious, Sirius stood and followed his friend down toward the lake where the group of students were still feeding the squid. He didn't really like the squid much any more, though he would have liked him more if he'd gotten the chance to follow that trail of suction cup hickies down Remus' neck.

"Now watch this." James said before grabbing Peter by his shoulder. "Hey Pete! Could you help me out with something?" James asked jovially, seeming far to excited to _not _be up to no good.

"U-um, welll..." Peter looked between James and Sirius.

"Great!" James chirped before pulling a small bottle from his pocket.

After yanking out the cork with his teeth he dumped the contents onto Peter's head, then with one big shove, toppled him into the water. There was a collective gasp from their audience, then an eerie moaning sound from the squid that sounded like metal bars being bent too far.

"You twat!" Peter sputtered as his head surfaced. "What's wrong with you-ooooo!"

Peter had been unable to finish his sentence before a large, meaty tentacle wrapped around him, smaller tips coming to try and stroke at his hair in a way that could only be described as affectionate.

The students in the crowd were torn between gasps of shock and fits of laughter as the squid began it's attempt at some strange mating ritual with the screaming boy. James and Sirius were amongst the group who were paralyzed with laughter, both of them having to hold onto one another to keep from tipping over.

Helena could not be counted amongst those students who found the situation comedic, though neither James nor Sirius could stop their laughter long enough to really figure out what it was she was trying to say to them. Even the slap that landed on James' cheek seemed muffled through the laughter, after all, Lily hit much harder.

"See what I mean now?" James shouted, leaning close to his friend so he could hear him properly over the din of the crowd. "You cared last time because it was Moony. Not because he's your friend, but because he's special to you! Otherwise you'd be in the water right now battling that thing all over again."

Sirius felt a strange swelling inside his chest. His heart was thundering and his face ached with the intensity of the smile he couldn't hold back. James' words and the screaming of Peter as the squid continued it's attempt to mate with him left his mind feeling suddenly, and euphorically, clear. His father's words were no longer echoing in his head but were dissolving away, drifting off to the little corner of his mind where the opinions of his family went to whither and die.

He liked Moony. In fact, he immediately decided that "like" was no where near strong enough for the feelings he had for the other boy. He felt his heart leap up into his throat as he thought he may actually _love _him. The word bounced around inside the now open space inside him that had once been filled with the toxic words of his family. He loved him. He thought that maybe he'd always loved him. From the moment he first looked at him through his fringe the way he still did when nervous. From the moment he saw the pain the other boy suffered every month and the strength he had to carry on as though nothing had happened. From the moment they'd nearly kissed in the shower. Sirius realized he'd fallen in love with the other boy so many times he could hardly keep count. What he did know was that he was the only one he felt this way for, and he was definitely the only one he'd fight a giant squid for.

"I have to go!" Sirius suddenly shouted, his face trapped in the most manic smile James had ever seen.

"Good luck." James said as he clapped him on the shoulder. "Don't think you'll need it though."

Sirius turned to run back toward the castle, his feet pointed straight for the hospital wing, though he left in such a hurry that he missed Peter's trousers hitting the shore.


	16. Chapter 16

**Sorry for the long wait everyone, but here's a nice long chapter for you! This story really hasn't gone in the direction I had originally planned, but it has still proven interesting! I'm not sure where it's going in the future, but rest assured that I wont leave it unfinished!**

* * *

><p>Remus wasn't surprised to find the corridors of the castle empty when he was finally released from the hospital wing. Madam Pomfery had been resistant to let him go, insisting he be cautious until the headmaster located the person responsible for his accident. Remus knew that a bit of persistence and well placed puppy eyes always did Pomfery in, though, and so he got his way in the end.<p>

The stone corridors seemed brighter than Remus had seen them for months, and he was sure The Marauders, along with most of the other students, would be outside soaking up the sun while they could. It was because of this that Remus was making a bee-line for the Gryffindor tower.

Having had the time to think on it during his stay in the hospital wing, Remus had come to a few conclusions. For starters, it was clear that Sirius had been avoiding him, or at the very least had been avoiding being alone with him. But it was what that meant that bothered him the most. He knew that if Sirius was intentionally avoiding him it meant he'd realized the feelings that Remus was harboring. Of course, he'd had the impression for a while that Sirius was figuring it out, but to see the blatant avoidance, even while he was in hospital, somehow struck it home for Remus. It had been hard to get ride of the sick feeling that had developed in the pit of his stomach.

Shaking his head to in an attempt to get the sad recollection to dissipate, Remus renewed his efforts to make it to the safety of his dorm room. Despite his attempt to ban Sirius from his thoughts, however, the dark haired boy began creeping back in as his feet moved to autopilot. Remus was not so naive as to think things would go back to the way they had been immediately. The idea of hiding his emotions again was a painful one, but he'd been doing it for so long that surly it would be possible to fall back into the habit. Admittedly, it would be harder to do so with Sirius' new perspective on the situation, but Remus was sure he would forget about it eventually. Sirius had a way of letting things roll off his back, and Remus was never sure if it was because he was surprisingly forgiving or if he just had a very poor memory. Distraction would be his best friend, and certainly a new girlfriend would be the distraction Sirius would look for.

The idea of seeing Sirius with a new girl made Remus feel surprisingly nauseous. He never particularly _liked _to see Sirius with _any_ girlfriend, but now that his feelings were out in the open, he felt like any display of affection would be an intentional jab at him. He supposed for a moment that he could turn the tables on him. Maybe what he needed was a distraction of his own. At the very least finding a boyfriend or girlfriend would, perhaps, ease Sirius' fear that he was being targeted. Immediately, though, he knew he was incapable of even faking a relationship with anyone at the moment.

He felt foolish, all of a sudden, for being so enamored even after being rejected in such a blunt way. His stay in the hospital had left him feeling surprisingly resentful toward his feelings for the other boy. He was angry, though he wasn't sure if he was angry with himself or with Sirius. Distracted as he was by this anger, he failed to notice that his auto-pioletted feet were marching him down a particularly deserted corridor. He also failed to notice that the other end was successfully blocked by three figures.

"How lucky for me that you're such a fast healer..." Debbie's voice immediately jarred him from his internal dialogue.

Remus had known for a long time that Debbie was not right in the head, but the cold look she wore on her face as he finally came to his senses was admittedly chilling. Remus imagined it was the same look she'd had when she pushed him from the landing, and was suddenly glad he'd not been able to see her face properly.

* * *

><p>Sirius could hardly keep his feet on the ground as he made his way toward the hospital wing, his impatient walking interrupted now and again by short bursts of running when the excitement became too much for him to handle. He always managed to slow himself back down after a few meters, though, reminding himself that he needed to not get ahead of himself. He knew that Remus had been hurt by the way he'd rejected him, and it was unlikely that his poor attempt at casual avoidance had made the situation better. He would have to play it cool.<p>

While his feet were not racing any more, his mind was working on full cylinders. He was trying to formulate a plan of attack, trying to script out what it was he would say to the other boy. Of course, he would start with an apology. He could see it all playing out in his mind like a beautiful romance novel. He would tell him how much he regretted turning him down, Remus would finally get the chance he'd been waiting for to confess, and this time Sirius would not turn him away. Sirius recalled the shy, vulnerable look he'd seen on the other boy's face when Remus had tried confessing on the pitch, and the slightly erotic features he'd seen in the shower. He hated himself for destroying that beautiful expression, that expression that he was certain no one else had ever seen. This time he would do it right. Remus would confess and Sirius would gently touch his cheek. The other boy's eyes would gloss over with happiness, then very carefully Sirius would convey all of his feelings with a perfect first kiss. It would be magical.

Unable to stop himself from running the last few meters to the door of the hospital, he received several angry glances as he flung the doors open a little more violently than he'd intended. Immediately, though, he felt his stomach sink. The bed Remus had occupied for the past week was empty.

Always talented at drawing the worst kind of attention to himself, he'd also become skilled at slipping out of long lectures, and based on the look Madam Pomfery was wearing as she began her march down the ward, he was in for a doozey.

"Huh..." he said in a loud, conversational voice. "This isn't the loo. How strange, I could have sworn... Oh well, sorry about that, Pom-sey!" Sirius flashed his best smile before fleeing the room.

He knew he'd pay for the use of the nickname he'd secretly given the healer, but the giggles coming from the first year a few beds in was enough to make any repercussions a fair price to pay. He had a love-hate relationship with Madam Pomfery, and while she constantly berated him for his thoughtless actions, usually because they would land Remus back in the wing, he also knew that she was grateful to him for being such a good friend to her favorite patient. She never did try to hide her blatant favoritism.

Getting his mind back on track, Sirius tried to decide where Remus might be hiding. He thought, perhaps, the other boy was in the library, but he also knew that Remus usually spent a day or so in bed after his regular hospital stays. He wondered if the other boy may try the same thing out of habit, and so he set his course for their shared dorm room. He wondered what might happen if they confessed in the solitude of their dorm, though. He was sure that James and Peter wouldn't be returning until well after supper. He thought the privacy might not be such a bad thing.

* * *

><p>Remus thought that he should maybe feel a little more frightened than he did at that moment. Not only did Debbie have an expression that promised a wicked plot, but she was being flanked by two excessively large sixth years. Remus recognized them immediately as Lucus and Lars Landram, a pair of fraternal twins who had a nasty reputation as trouble makers. They were also pure blood elitists. No one was really sure why they had ended up in Gryffindor, but Remus thought their foolishly inflated pride may have had something to do with it. It was embarrassing for Remus to know he shared a house with them.<p>

Reputation and political beliefs aside, Remus had a more personal history with them. At the beginning of the year they had both tried out for the Gryffindor quiddich team. While Remus was unable to share the excitement that James and Sirius had for the game, he often spent his time in the stands reading, pretending he was there to give them moral support. Mostly it was because Sirius whined like a baby if he didn't go. The two had shown an impressive inability to play cooperatively with the other team members and had even sent two of the other candidates to the hospital wing due to their overly aggressive playing style. Needless to say, neither of them made the team. It was also common knowledge that the brothers held James and Sirius personally accountable. For several months after the try-outs there had been a slew of threats directed at The Marauders, though the two hulking sixth years were never brave enough to confront either James or Sirius in person. Eventually the drama subsided, but it seemed they never did let go of the resentment.

Remus heard himself chuckle slightly, something he figured was not the most appropriate thing to do at that particular moment. A mixed expression of shock violent desire rose on the Landram brothers' faces, but Remus could only laugh more. He thought that maybe all the stress had finally driven him mad.

"Really, Debbie? Is this really what it's come to?" He asked, unable to stop the grin of disbelief on his face.

"Laugh all you want, Lupin, but this time I'm going to make sure even Madam Pomfery can't help you." Debbie growled, and Remus was sure she meant it.

"You know," Remus began, feeling stupidly brave, "I'm so relieved that you never _actually _liked me, because you are one _crazy _bitch."

Anger flashed in Debbie's eyes and judging by the tensing of her 'hired help,' Remus was starting to realize that he wasn't going to be getting out of this without a fight.

"I was going to try bargaining with you, but you just lost your chance..."

* * *

><p>It was a constant battle for Sirius to keep from running, something he was getting worse and worse at controlling. He wondered if Gryffindor tower had always been so far away, feeling as though he'd been walking for hours.<p>

Rounding another corner he felt himself growing more excited as he neared the tower. Just as he began wondering how long ago Remus left the hospital wing, however, he heard a familiar voice from a rarely used corridor nearby. He felt his stomach clench with excitement when he recognized Remus' laugh, though he immediately realized that something was wrong. The laugh wasn't a happy one or even a faked one, it was a resentful one and his gut immediately knew who it was aimed at. Panic washed over Sirius' body, draining him of the lovey-dovey excitement he'd been feeling. He didn't care whether there had been evidence or not, he'd known immediately that Debbie had been the one to push Remus from that landing, and he also knew that she was the only one Remus would be pointing such a hateful sound toward.

Instantly his feet were carrying him toward the voices he heard. Rounding the corner he saw the backs of Debbie and two large figures he recognized as the Landram brothers. He wondered if he'd ever felt such visceral fear before. He never would have considered himself the type to be afraid for someone else, but the idea of these people doing anything else to hurt Remus fostered murderous thoughts inside him.

"Make sure he gets shipped to St. Mungo's." Debbie said with a grin, watching her two henchmen move toward their victim.

"I've always wondered what it felt like to beat the hell out of a faggot." Lars, the slightly taller of the two, said with a crack of his neck.

"Its gonna feel pretty good." Lucus said, punctuating his words by cracking his knuckles.

Remus thought it was almost humorous that they were being so cliché with their intimidation techniques, but figured creativity didn't really matter at that particular moment.

Heart racing, and feet pounding, Sirius was trying to get to them before anything could happen. As he saw the two large boys begin to close in on his friend he felt his heart stop a second, but just as he opened his mouth to scream for them to stop he saw what appeared to be Remus' bag slam into Lars' face, sending the tiny giant stumbling backwards.

"Reducto!" Sirius heard Remus' voice and in a flash of light, the other hulking boy was thrown off his feet in the opposite direction.

Sirius nearly face-planted on the stone slabs of the corridor as he watched what could only be called a massacre. Just as Lars threw the bag to the side, obviously more furious than ever, he was met by the conjunctivitis curse to his face instead. Sirius watched as the lumbering boy staggered back, screaming as his hands groped at his rapidly swelling eyes.

"What the hell?" Lucus shouted as he watched his brother's face swell and his eyes crust over. "How dare you!"

Turning his attention back toward Remus he lunged at him, fist poised to connect with the smaller boy's face. Remus' wand was much faster, though.

"Fernuculus! Everte Statum!" Remus shouted, sending the other boy tumbling several meters back, finding that when he landed his face was covered in boils.

Barely winded, Remus turned his attention back to Lars, who was trying to get back to his feet in his blind state. He was groping for Remus, growling something unintelligible as he did so. Reaching down, Remus took hold of the other boy's collar.

"This is a _wizarding _school!" Remus said through his teeth before bringing his wand-free hand down to give Lars one good punch in the face. "Learn to use _magic! _Flipendo Tria!"

Sirius had to flatten himself against the wall as Lars' body was sent flying down the corridor, nearly hitting him as he tumbled in the air. In the commotion, Debbie seemed to panic and ran past the distracted Remus and out of sight. Sirius was uncertain if she ever knew he was there. He could tell, though, that Remus had.

As their eyes met Sirius was unsure what he should feel or say. He'd never seen Remus look so wild before, aside from the obvious "wildness" the other boy possessed. He had certainly never seen him hit anyone, and only rarely had Remus _ever_ turned his wand on someone else. He thought that he should maybe feel disillusioned by these recent events, that it should dampen the newly realized feelings he had for the other boy, but instead, this display of uncharacteristic aggression only made him desire the other boy more. He wondered if those feelings were being conveyed through the intense lock their eyes were in, but after a moment Remus turned away.

Walking first to his bag, Remus slung it over one shoulder, then turned to where Lucus was still laying.

"Petrificus Totalis." He muttered, leaving the other boy lying stiff on the floor, unable to continue his groaning.

Wand still in hand he began walking toward Sirius. The dark haired boy had never felt so nervous before in his life as the brunette marched toward him, but just as he opened his mouth to say something, Remus passed by him. When he got to the body at the end of the hall he used the same incantation, ensuring the two of them would stay there to be found by teachers. It was when Sirius realized that Remus intended to leave without even acknowledging him that he panicked.

"Wait! Moony!" Sirius yelped, running after him.

"I don't want to talk to you right now, Sirius." Remus said, his voice low and angry sounding.

"Are you alright? That was crazy back there!" Sirius said as he fell in stride with him, hanging a few paces back to keep an eye on the other boy. "I've _never_ seen you fight like that."

"Are you deaf?" Remus asked, not bothering to slow down. "I said I didn't want to talk to you!"

"But I have something really important to tell you!" He nearly whined, using a voice that usually got him what he wanted from the other boy. "Will you just stop a second?"

"What, Sirius?" Remus finally shouted, turning on his black haired friend in a way that made Sirius wonder if his eyes were going to start swelling shut as well. "What could you _possibly _have to say to me right now?"

This was it. Sirius felt his stomach begin to do flips. Remus looked so angry, but he supposed he shouldn't be too surprised. He already knew that he'd hurt his friend's feelings, and he had every right to be upset. But this was going to change it. He was going to make everything right. Remus' happy face drifted through his thoughts and he couldn't help but smile at his passing fantasy. He took a deep breath, bracing himself before he let the words slip hurriedly past his lips.

"I want you to go out with me." He said, feeling as though he were about to float up to the ceiling.

Whatever Remus had been expecting Sirius to say, it obviously hadn't included that. Sirius watched as honey colored eyes widened in adorable surprise, the impossibly soft-looking pink lips parting, as though he wanted to gasp in shock. Things were going exactly how he'd imagined...

Until Sirius felt his fantasies shatter. After his moment of shock, Remus's eyes narrowed furiously, his lips pressing into a rigid line. Sirius thought he felt an arrow shoot straight through him just before Remus pivoted sharply away from him. Sirius was sure he looked like an idiot as he watched his crush start to walk away.

"H-hey!" He stuttered uncharacteristically as he chased after him. "Where are you going? Shouldn't you be happy?"

After being ignored, Sirius reached out and grabbed the other boy's shoulder, determined to clear things up once and for all.

"Remus!" Sirius barked a bit more harshly than he'd meant to.

In one swift motion, Remus turned as his shoulder was pulled and threw his fist at Sirius' face, connecting on his cheek. While it was a clumsy punch, which was to be expected from someone unaccustomed to fighting, it was strong enough, and held enough surprise, that Sirius staggered backward, tripping on his own feet as he went. He felt like his heart may stop as he sat on the floor on his bruised back side, his hand holding the hot patch on his face. All he could do was stare, mouth hanging open, at the fuming lycanthrope standing over him.

"How dare you!" Remus screamed at him, tears visibly collecting on his lower eyelashes. "You're so selfish! Do you think its funny to tease me like this?"

"I'm not teasing you!" Sirius defended himself loudly, though he found himself incapable of feeling anger toward the obviously hurt boy.

"You wouldn't even let me _tell _you that I liked you!" he shouted, almost successful in his attempt to hide his quivering lip. "You knew what I was going to say and you wouldn't even let me finish! You said that being with me was _disgusting!_ How _dare _you say something like this to me now!"

Turning, Remus tried to make his escape, though Sirius was immediately scrambling to follow him.

"Wait! Moony, I'm really sorry, alright?" Sirius was practically begging, a little happy that no one was around to see him, "I promise, I really, really am! I _know_ I hurt your feelings and -"

"Do you, really?" Remus nearly spit the words at him

"I do!" Sirius insisted. "and I know I was a bastard. You have every right to be angry with me, but I was scared out of my mind, okay? I was afraid to admit how I was feeling and I didn't want the whole school causing more trouble for you!"

Just as the words left his mouth, Remus turned on him again, this time shoving him with both hands.

"Don't you _dare _make it sound like you did all this for my sake!" He growled.

"Alright..." Sirius said, raising both hands in surrender, his voice dropping a little. "Alright, I'm sorry. I didn't like the idea of people talking about me." he admitted, the seriousness of his tone seeming to sooth the anger in the other boy. "I was afraid of them knowing I liked a guy."

Remus stared at him for a long time, as though gauging whether he was being honest.

"Weren't you ever afraid of people knowing?" He asked after the silence became too much for him to bear. "Isn't it frightening?"

There was another long pause, but this time Sirius let it lay as he saw the anger in Remus' gentle eyes start to whither.

"Of course it is..." Remus finally muttered quietly. "Its terrifying. It always is."

Slowly, so as not to anger the other boy again, Sirius brought his hands to Remus' shoulders, daringly brushing his thumb up the side of his neck as he did so.

"Really, Remus..." he said gently, feeling like the world around them was beginning to fade away, much as it did during those fleeting moments in the shower. "I'm so sorry I hurt you... I'm an idiot."

Remus felt his heart begin to race, all of the anger and resentment he felt toward the other boy disintegrating as the warmth from his hands spread across his shoulders and down his back.

"I really shouldn't forgive you so quickly..." He said, trying to sound firm, though he was fighting a subtle smile the whole time. "You were a really horrible twat to me."

Sirius couldn't stop a grin from splitting his face, immediately recognizing his friend's coy response for what it was. His heart was leaping again.

"I'll tell you what..." he said softly, bringing one hand away from his shoulders to form a loose fist between them. "I'll play you for it."

Remus sucked his lips between his teeth in a poor attempt to stop the smile that was making his face ache. He knew it was stupid to forgive Sirius so quickly, but then he reminded himself that grades weren't everything. Sometimes being stupid was exactly what you needed.

"What are the stakes?" Remus asked, trying to sound serious as he brought his own hand up to match his, his heart racing as he felt his fringe brush against Sirius' dark hair.

"If I win, you have to date me..." He said quietly, his heart missing a beat as the other boy bit his lip to suppress the smile that was trying to fight its way out.

Remus found himself terrified that he might actually beat Sirius, but he played anyway. In mere seconds all of his fears melted away, though, as he felt Sirius' two long fingers slide over his flattened hand in a mockery of cutting. He felt his heart leap into his throat.

"Scissor cuts paper." Sirius said gently, making Remus wonder how he could make something so ridiculous sound so seductive. "You never were any good at this game, Rem."

"I guess losing isn't so bad." Remus said quietly, his whole body starting to shiver as the reality of the situation began to sink in.

Time seemed to stop for a few moments as each of them came to grips with the reality of their situation, each of them wondering if the other was as terrified as they were. They wondered when they'd gotten so close to each other, their chests and foreheads nearly touching, each of them shyly trying to talk themselves into making the first move.

Remus wondered if he should pinch himself, certain that he must be dreaming. He tried to remember how long it had been since he'd realized his feelings for his friend. He'd imagined how a situation like this might go thousands of times during late nights when sleep was impossible. He remembered the horror he'd felt when he'd caught himself doodling stick people versions of himself and Sirius kissing during class. But now here he was, so close to Sirius that he could feel his breath breeze over his lips and could smell his shampoo as their hair brushed against each other. He thought he might go mental from sheer joy.

Sirius, on the other hand, was mentally chastising himself for being too nervous to make his move. He was shocked that he felt so uncertain. He'd never had any qualms with sweeping in and stealing a kiss from girls he'd dated in the past. It had been _too _easy if he was going to be honest with himself. But he knew he couldn't just jump in this time. He had to do this right, it had to be perfect. He had to be sure that it was something Remus would never be able to forget. He thought for a second that Remus looked slightly annoyed, but before he could ask, he got his answer.

"Oh sod it!" Remus finally muttered before leaning in, clumsily bumping his mouth against Sirius' unsuspecting lips.

Their first kiss was clumsy and Remus was trying to awkwardly breath through his mouth at the same time they were kissing. Of course, Sirius didn't know that Remus was doing it to try and subdue the dizzying effect the kiss was having on him. Instead, Sirius tried to lead the kiss into something a little more structured as he wrapped his arms around the other boy's narrow waist, but neither of them were patient enough and both chuckled breathlessly into the other's mouth as they felt their teeth bump together. It wasn't until Sirius managed to bring a hand to up to cup the brunette's chin that he was able to guide the kiss properly.

"Relax..." Sirius said softly, his lips brushing against the quivering set he was exploring. "I'm not going anywhere."

Sirius felt his stomach quiver excitedly as he sucked his friend's lower lip into his mouth and felt the other boy shiver, a small gasp telling him he was right on the money. Having gained some control, they both took turns kissing every millimeter of the others lips, Sirius' guidance soothing the frantic rush Remus was feeling. A few days ago, had someone asked Remus what kissing Sirius might be like, he certainly would not have thought of this slow, achingly intimate way. He'd always imagined kissing Sirius to be like a fast paced game of quiddich, each side struggling to get more. He never expected his friend to be so gentle.

It was impossible for Sirius to keep himself from chuckling as he finally pulled away to get a good look at the other boy's face. He'd wondered what Remus might look like in a love stricken daze. He watched as honey colored eyes blinked rapidly in an attempt to refocus, his lips still slightly pursed as though waiting for more.

"So do you forgive me?" Sirius asked, finally giving into the urge to brush his finger tips over the soft, pink lips he'd been unable to get out of his mind for days.

"Yeah..." Remus answered, still in a slight daze, though a moment later, when he finally got his mind about him he quirked one brow. "Though you _really_ were a tremendous twat."

Sirius thought that maybe he still hadn't been fully forgiven yet.

* * *

><p><strong>TBC...<strong>

*****EDIT*****

**I just wanted to make it clear that the story is not over yet! Lol. There seems to be a little confusion so I wanted to clear it up! I have a few chapters left so I hope everyone will stick around! I have to at least live up to the M rating, right?**

**And now for a message from my cat...**

**;alawihhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhkkkk kkkkkkkkkkkewewewewewewewewe wewewewkol**


	17. Chapter 17

**Hi again, everyone! **

**Holy cow, it feels so good to be back here! I've been working diligently on my original work and hope to start querying literary agents in the first half of next year. I'm so excited about it, but I missed the community here so much that I decided to take a break to finally finish this story!**

I'm really sorry I abandoned it the way I did and always regretted doing it. When I saw that it had gotten over 50,000 views, though, I just couldn't stay away. I thought I owed it to all of you to finally finish it.

**This is the first chapter of several that I'll be posting to wrap things up. I promise you that I'll be putting my full efforts into the ending so you won't get some thrown together compromise. **

**My only concern is that the tone of my writing may have changed in the months that I've been away, so I'm sorry if the feel of these last chapters is different.**

Anyway, here we go!

* * *

><p>As the long, quiet walk back to their dorm ended, neither boy was sure if they were glad the room was empty.<p>

"Any idea where the others are?" Remus asked, trying his best to sound casual.

"Oh, um, probably down by the lake," Sirius said as he scratched behind his ear, something he only did when he was nervous. "That's where I left them, anyway."

Remus hummed a noncommittal answer as they both sluffed off their robes. The silence was awkward, but not fully unpleasant. Both boys could feel their hearts thumping around their throats and Sirius smiled every time their eyes met, flattered by the way his friend's face seemed to heat up when the connection was made. It was only after they'd been sitting for several minutes at the edges of their beds, facing each other, that Sirius finally spoke.

"So, are you going to report them? I mean, Debbie was pretty blatant this time." He was watching Remus rub at his reddened knuckles.

"I don't know," he said vaguely, still avoiding his friend's stare. "Complaining to teachers doesn't really suit the Marauders' style, does it?"

"True." Sirius chuckled before they fell back into silence.

It was hard to believe that only minutes ago they had been kissing each other, and now they were both trying to reconcile this new step with their already deep friendship. As the high of endorphins ebbed, though, Remus was starting to feel nervous. Sirius was so quiet, after all. Was he regretting it? What about James and Peter, what would they say? Should he even tell them? He'd been so worried about ruining his friendship with Sirius that he'd forgotten to consider his other closest friends.

It wasn't until he felt the mattress beside him sink that he realized Sirius had moved.

"Does that hurt?" he asked, gently taking Remus' bruised hand.

"It-it's not bad," Remus stammered, feeling his heart rate spike again.

Keeping the other boy's hand cradled in his, trying not to smile as he felt the slight tremor in the narrow fingers, Sirius fished his wand from his pocket. As he passed the tip over the reddened knuckles, Remus felt an icy sensation seep into the heated skin, relieving the thumping pain.

"I'm still really impressed, you know." Sirius said gently, wondering if he'd meant his voice to be so quiet. "I wasn't just saying it so you'd forgive me."

"Kind of a manly thing to be impressed by." Remus answered, his stomach churning uncomfortably as he thought of Sirius being repulsed by his boyish nature.

Sirius could see Remus' body go rigid, could see the way he was clenching and unclenching his teeth, and knew exactly what he was thinking.

"Who said I was never impressed by manly thing?" He shrugged.

It was hard for Sirius not to laugh at the look of pure incredulity that Remus gave him. At least he was looking him in the eye, though, so Sirius cleared his throat to keep from smiling.

"Name the last time you had a manly girlfriend." Remus smiled sarcastically, and Sirius could still see the panic he was just barely keeping in check.

"Name the last time I _kept_ a girlfriend," Sirius countered. "Ever consider that maybe their helplessness was a problem?"

Remus huffed and rolled his eyes, a shadow of the anger he'd directed at Sirius returning to his features.

"If you don't want girls who are so delicate and helpless, why do you keep going out with them?" He demanded, seeming to want an argument.

Sirius refused to give it to him. Though he could feel his ego squirming to defend itself, he knew that understanding and honesty was what he needed to win Remus over now.

"Because I was too much of a coward to be honest with myself." He murmured, looking at Remus' bruised knuckles again.

Sirius waited for the other boy to say something, though the only response he got was an increase in the tremors shaking his friend's fingers.

"Remus," he whispered, his eyes moving back to the werewolf's confused face. "I'm so sorry. I'm sorry it took me so long to notice. I'm sorry I said such hateful things."

"Stop, Pads. Really..." he took a fortifying breath, then moved his free hand to the dark-haired boy's arm, holding onto his sleeve and tugging just enough to get his friend to face him more directly, "there's nothing to apologize for. Just, promise you're telling the truth."

Sirius smiled his ribbon-winning smile, a rush of confidence seeming to light his face as he brought his fingertips to Remus' cheek.

"When have I _ever_ lied to you?" He teased as he leaned in, unable to resist the draw of his friend's pink lips any more.

"You don't want me to answer that." Remus countered, his own smile softening his expression as their lips brushed.

It amazed Remus. A moment ago his head was filled with nothing but doubt; about how he would tell his friends, about whether Sirius was being sincere, about whether he was good enough to deserve such a perfect outcome. As he breathed in the taste of Sirius, though, as his tongue sampled the flavor that had already ensnared his senses, everything seemed okay. Sirius was his Felix Felicis and he would make everything in his life perfect. He didn't know how, but he knew it would happen.

A shiver more violent than he'd expected ran down Remus' spine as he felt, as much as heard, his best friend whisper his name against his lips, and immediately both of their mouths opened, their tongues seeking each other in earnest, now. The sound of Remus' breathing filled Sirius' ears, and before he'd told his hands to move, they'd tangled themselves in his friend's straw-colored hair, raking his nails against his scalp and pulling him closer.

"Hold on." Sirius gasped as he pulled away from the other boy's mouth.

A jolt of panic shook Remus as the other teen put the breaks on so suddenly. He wondered if he'd done something wrong or if Sirius had come to his senses, then his friend pulled his jumper over his head, making short work of the button-up underneath.

Remus gawked, knowing his eyes were the size of saucers as he stared at his friend's bare chest. Certainly, he'd seen his friend more undressed than this, in fact they'd been in a much more compromising situation in the buff, but that was before they'd kissed. It was before they knew about each other's feelings. It was before doing more than looking was alright.

"Can I?" Sirius asked quietly, his fingers moving to the hem of Remus' jumper.

Unable to formulate thoughts, much less words, Remus just nodded before raising his arms to aid Sirius in undressing him. By the time his shirt was unbuttoned and pushed down his shoulders, he'd been guided to the mattress as well, and Sirius was suddenly there, on top of him, kissing him and he thought he might faint. Vaguely, he recalled the hunger he'd had before, the urge that had taken him now and again to push the dark haired boy against the wall and shag him six ways from Sunday. But now, all he could do was lay in his bed and shiver as his friend's lips traveled over his jaw to his neck.

Sirius wondered if Remus' skin was tainted with some sort of drug, because the more he tasted it, the harder it became to think properly. Remus' body was nothing like the girls he met in broom closets and store rooms. His torso was lean and tight, though as he ran his fingers over the curve of his waist he felt the body underneath him squirm, and suddenly his trousers felt claustrophobic.

Pulling his mouth away from his skin, Sirius met the darkened eyes of his best friend. He'd always thought he'd seen every side of Moony. After all, once you've seen a wolf tear its way out of someone's flesh, you'd think there's not much left to surprise you. This did surprise him though. His pupils were blown wide, his lips red and parted as he tried to catch his breath. Looking down, his gaze zeroed in on the small pink nipples that he'd noticed in the shower, and now, finally, they were there for him to touch.

Remus felt his body suck in air in an attempt to stay functional as fingers brushed over the hardened points he'd never given much attention to. Their eyes met again, and Remus could see the other boy gauging the response to his touch, mapping his body and storing the information for future use. When he pinched the sensitive flesh, though, and Remus let a strangled moan slip from his throat, the careful exploration was over, for both of them. Their mouths met in a frenzy of tongues and teeth, their hands gripping at one another as Sirius pushed his way between the trembling legs that opened instantly for him.

"Sirius..." Remus said his name before he really knew what he wanted to ask.

"Sirius is a twat, is what he is!" Peter's voice suddenly hammered on the other side of the door and both boys froze.

"Will you give it a rest, Wormy?" James' voice sounded tired, as though he'd listened to their friend's complaining for hours.

Feeling Remus tense up beneath him, Sirius pulled the curtain to the bed shut just before the door opened in a forceful way that said Peter was in lead.

"No! I will not give it a rest, Prongs! Look at me, I almost got raped by a squid!"

Remus snorted, clamping a hand over his mouth in time to keep the noise from alerting their friends. Sirius looked at him and grinned, wishing he could tell him everything.

"And how, exactly, does that make Sirius a twat?" James asked, the sound of his cloak falling over his bed.

"You know exactly why." Peter said, shuffling around, probably removing his wet and, no doubt, torn clothes.

"Look, Peter." James' voice had dropped an octave, using their friend's name like a warning. "I told you all that because I thought you would be mature and supportive about it. Not to give you fuel to bitch."

"You tell me two of our friends are a couple of bum chums and you want me to be supportive?"

Remus' eyes shot straight to Sirius whose face had gone pale. 'I didn't like the idea of people talking about me.' Those were his exact words, his confession less than an hour ago, and now his friends were making that fear a reality. Remus was shocked, and hurt, but he'd also had much longer to fortify himself for something like this. He could tell, though that Sirius had not. He was new to this, and still vulnerable, and before Remus could really consider his actions, he'd pushed Sirius off and rolled out of the bed, ripping the curtain aside as he did.

In a satisfyingly comical way, Peter yelped like a pup and leapt several feet away from the seething werewolf.

"What was that, Wormtail?" Remus growled, the wolf inside him threatening to claw its way to the surface.

"M-Moony," Peter stammered. "What are you doing here?"

"Oh you know, just poncing around. Sucking some dick for fun. Is that what you expect me to say, you little rat?" Remus stalked toward the smaller boy who hid, immediately, behind James.

"What? No! No, of course not!" Peter whimpered.

"Hold up, Moony." James said, resting a hand on his shoulder to stop him from tearing their rodent of a friend apart. "You know he's just being an idiot. Relax."

"You think it's alright for him to say something like that?" Remus felt disgusted.

"Take a breath, Remus." James said, his voice hard but not argumentative. "I've been on your side from the get go. And Peter's gonna be on your side too?"

Unable to keep from watching their friend cower, Sirius ventured from the drapes that had been acting as his emotional shield. It was the second time that day he'd seen Remus stand up to someone who deserved more than a stern talking to, and Sirius couldn't stop the smile of admiration that split his face.

"Why are you two half naked?" Wormtail asked as Sirius joined the group, his face twisting up in disgust.

Like a pack of wolves, the three taller boys turned a threatening gaze toward their intolerant friend, and could see the fear seep through his body.

"Not-not-not that there's anything wrong with it!" He stuttered quickly.

"Keep that attitude and everything'll be fine." James said, clapping the boy's shoulder painfully.

"Are you ladies finished?" Lily stood in their doorway, leaned against the frame, looking more amused than usual.

"When'd you get here?" James asked, grinning as he realized she'd snuck in on them, somehow opening the door silently. He was impressed by her mischievous talents.

"Just in time to see the skin show." She winked at Remus, whose face went very red, knowing he would have to relay every detail of his 'encounters' with Sirius to her.

"Get dressed, all three of you." James ordered. "I'm the only one she should be seeing in any state of undress."

"Oh, get over yourself." Lily sighed, though her pursed lips were barely able to conceal her smile as she walked into the room.

"What _are _you doing here?" Remus asked as he went immediately for his shirt, feeling embarrassed and exposed now that his adrenaline had evaporated.

"I've been asking around about Debbie," Lily said, folding her arms in front of her. "Seems she's out of sorts with a lot of her friends lately, so most of them were ready to tell me all her dirty little secrets."

"So you've been gossiping." Sirius joked.

"I've been _researching_, you twat." She hissed.

"Why does everyone keep calling me a twat?"

"If the shoe fits..." James smiled as Sirius shoved him.

"What did you find out?" Remus asked,

"Not much that we didn't already know. She's got it bad for Sirius, of course. Keeps talking about making all his friends see what a rotten bastard he is."

"Am I really that bad?" Sirius asked, looking incredulous when all his friends gave him looks like he'd just asked an obvious question.

"Seemed like it was working there for a while." James said, the apology apparent in his voice, still feeling bad about the cold shoulder they'd given him while Remus was in Hospital.

"Yeah, well, from what I can tell, she's not given up on that."

They were silent for a while, none of them really seeming to know what to say.

"Does she know you're a poofter now?" Peter asked, though the fear that was still apparent in his voice made it hard for anyone to get angry with him.

"She'd probably just blame me for that," Remus said soberly.

"Probably." Lily said.

"But?" Remus prompted, recognizing the tone in her voice.

Lily smiled, amused that Remus knew her well enough to tell when she was leading the conversation.

"But..." she began, a bona fide Marauder gleam in her eye, "I have a plan."

The four boys exchanged glances, none of them sure if they trusted the safety of her plans any more.

* * *

><p><strong>Alright! Sorry it's a bit short, but I was excited to get it posted. I'm not 100% happy with it, since I'm pretty out of practice with this kind of writing, but I'm sure I'll fall back into the swing of things!<strong>

**In other news, if any of you are interested in my original work, I've started a writing blog. I'll be posting some excerpts from my book there. In fact, I just posted the first one today. If any of you want to check it out you can find it at:**

** kmwitt dot wordpress dot com  
><strong>

**Down in the right hand corner you can follow it by email. I'll be posting excerpts from every chapter and news about when and how it will be published! You guys have been such fantastic readers and I would really love to have your support! Hopefully I'll have a real book for you guys to enjoy some day!**


End file.
